Things You Don’t Say to a Pregnant Woman

I’ve always been one of those people who takes extra precaution when talking to people. I don’t assume someone is pregnant just by the way they look. I don’t generally ask people when they are planning to have kids and/or add to their family. After struggling for a year trying to get pregnant with Jonah and hearing those kinds of questions for months on end, I keep my mouth shut. You never know what someone has been going through. There are just some things that you shouldn’t make comments about unless you really know someone. And even then, there are some statements that should be left unsaid.

I thought that I’d get by this pregnancy without getting frustrated with the stupid comments coming out of people’s mouths. Despite the fact that my hormones have been out of whack, I’ve managed to not get annoyed with some of the comments and statements so far. Most people are generally excited for us; making comments about how fun it’s going to be to have another child and sharing tales of pregnancy and newborn stages with me. Those things make me excited and always create interesting conversations.

But, some things?

Some statements?

They drive me nuts.

Like hearing people say over and over and over again how “we must be really disappointed that this baby isn’t a girl.” Because apparently having one son means that you are automatically not supposed to want another. That since Jonah is going to be a boy, we are supposed to be unhappy that we aren’t having a girl instead. Seriously?!

Or statements regarding my weight or belly size. Yes. I am gaining weight. Surprise, surprise. What pregnant woman doesn’t expect to put on 25-30 pounds when she discovers she’s having a baby? The thing is, none of the people making comments about my size are doctors. Nor do any of them realize that despite the size of my ever expanding belly, I have only gained 10 pounds. Which puts me perfectly on target to hit my weight this time.

Nor do they know that apparently my body doesn’t know how to gain weight all over the place. It seems that I’m just one of those pregnant people who gains in the belly. And that’s okay with me. Unlike last pregnancy, I am actually feeling extremely good about my size, weight and pregnant physique. I don’t particularly like being pregnant. But I’m okay with how I look and I’m comfortable with myself and what’s going on. I’m growing a miracle. Period.

Or how people who just had their first baby (within the last few months) try to offer me advice on how to take care of a newborn. Supposedly having not caused any major harm raised one child for almost four years doesn’t make me qualified to know how to take care of a newborn. I’ve done the all night feedings. The colic. The teething. The fussiness. The not eating. Trust me…if it’s an infant issue, Noah had it; and we are fully prepared to deal with it again. I know how to take care of a newborn.

But, I think the worst is when people make comments about Noah. Or how he’ll adjust. Or just assuming that he’s not going to adapt to having a baby brother around. I know there will be an adjustment period. I know that it’s going to take some time for him to get used to not being the one and only around here. I know that he’s probably going to throw tantrums and fits to get our attention. But, that doesn’t mean he won’t adjust. Or that he won’t be a good brother. Or that he’s going to act like a spoiled little brat for the next 10 years.

Needless to say, no matter how hard I try, I get frustrated with the ignorant comments people make sometimes. Yes. I’m pregnant. And hormonal. And fluffy. And swollen. And sore. And hungry. I’m all of those things. But I’m also a seasoned veteran and know what I’m doing. At least, when it comes to birthing a child and rocking the newborn phase. Will I have to make adjustments over time? Of course. Who doesn’t? But, I don’t need unwelcome negative and rude comments to get me through until then.

By the way…aside from the completely hysterical “mean” face Noah’s making that matches the mood I was in when I wrote this post, the photos included here have nothing to do with this post at all. In case you didn’t know…Also linking this post up with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out.