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Why People Quit the Church

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  1. Leslie says:

    Amen to your inspired words. You’re still touching people with your compassionate message after several years. You are right, you can still love The Lord and hate the church.

  2. Craig says:

    Your post affected me as I could relate to it in a very personal way. I feel and process information much like you and although I haven’t healed completely from my church damage, I can tell you (As well I’m sure you know on a certain level yourself) that I know that the church IS Jesus’s bride. My prayer after reading this is for people like you and I to be and understand that we are called to be the foundation of that church. “Church” isn’t a building. It is you and I. It is inescapable when you have “The truth”. I believe with ally heart that you indeed have the truth. As I’m writing this, I am praying for your family and asking God to give you a special family blessing for you and your children. God is pleased with your honesty with yourself. He also wants you to know that you also can’t do it alone and to assure that you don’t put yourself in bad company that can lead you astray. Even the elite can be fooled by false teaching which is why we are called to pray with more than one believer that doesn’t “Tell you what your itching ears what to hear”. I am asking God to bless you. Your children will be healed the ways you are asking. Your husband will hear your heart and come together in your heart’s wishes. Don’t forget there are people that feel and hear God deeply. Continue your works and remember that you will be tested for your courage. Do not feed the controlling spirits. Simply say nothing and stand true to your convictions. Forgive yourself when you screw up and move on. You are and will always stay under warfare when you allow yourself to feed negativity. People like that cannot help but control others. Beware the Jezebel spirit when you make a stand for God. Bless you.

    • Thank you, Craig! I really appreciate that! As a military family, we move so often and have seen and been part of SO many churches. It’s always a rich blessing when we come across a church that feeds our spirit and our soul and a gut-punch when we find some that aren’t. I personally think that the trials within the churches have grown because we are too focused on building a “building” and “ministries” than we are on building the kingdom. I will pray for you as you continue to work through your own hurt and church disappointment.

  3. […] you are looking for another great post on this topic, check out Courtney Kirkland’s, Why People Quit the Church. It pretty much sums up how I feel, and I’m sure how a lot of others feel […]

  4. DDailey says:

    Exactly. When another human needs strength, my God does not require me to ask what church he belongs or what he believes in. My bible says “judge Not Lest ye be judged”. Not twisted to fit however interpretation
    Fits a monetary agenda. Thank you and bless you for your shared perspective.

  5. Lynda Greene says:

    Please tell me how I can forward this to my daughter (NOT) for the world to see because I think she would be mad at me. But she thinks like you! I want her to read some of your stuff I’ve been reading. Thank You! Concern mom who daughter left the church and doesn’t (at this time) plan on going back.

  6. Richard says:

    Hi Courtney,

    I really like this post. I was super involved in church from 18-40. At 40 I simply felt there was no place for me at my church anymore. I was missing more than I was there and nobody that I was supposed to be close to said a word, which included a close friendship with the pastor. I got a Facebook message from my pastor after I’d been gone for three months telling me how disappointed he was in me missing. I messaged back and said I was disappointed that nobody cared about me as a person enough to see if I was ok. I had been very involved in youth and then music ministry before leaving. I came in to talk to him and lay out my heart. To let him know I felt like I didn’t know where I fit any more. Instead of helping me find my way, he said there were jobs at the church that I should be doing. There was work to do. It felt like someone saying they were starving to death and being told they should start a food pantry. The bible says God so loved the world, and I’m part of that world. But at church, I felt like I was only a worker bee that needed to do things. I was important and valued as a worker, but that was all. There was no place where I fit in to receive, only give, give, give. The Lord is good. But that church…I went one last time about 2 years ago and saw for myself that I could keep coming back to work, but that’s all there was.

    It’s funny. I spent 22 years faithfully working at churches and now I’ve not been to church for 2 years. I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the people or the activities. I believe in God and I pray with people at work, but I don’t miss the church. I worry at times that I’m just hard hearted. I just was tired of being treated like my only function was to work at church. We are called by God to do good works, but in my heart I can’t believe that’s the Only reason the Lord wants me to be part of his family.

    Again, thanks for this article. 🙂

  7. Kerri says:

    I couldn’t agree more! You have poured MY thoughts and feelings onto your page. I am so happy to have found another ‘kindred spirit” who just wants people to know that they are enough. That Jesus thinks they are enough warts and all. You have been blessed with a wonderful gift, Courtney. Never stop sharing your heart.

  8. Crystal says:

    You are gifted beyond measure Courtney. I love reading what you write, I love how truthful you are. I love that you love Jesus and most of all I love that you understand many different view points of different situations. I am not a perfect Christian, I should try harder…..I’ve struggled with lots of different sins, I know Jesus loves me the same. He has never let me down. I’m not a full time church goer. After 3 tries I found where God speaks to my heart and they are an amazing church family but you see…..I can be ME around them, why….well judgement is why!

  9. Lucy Cox says:

    Amen. If we were perfect Jesus would not have had to die. We would not need Jesus (after salvation) if we stayed perfect. THANK GOD FOR HIS PERFECT SON, and our salvation.

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Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2011,, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.