Things Mommies Know
I know that I should learn to let go a little bit…
to trust people to take care of you the way that I do.
But that will never happen.
Because no one can take care of you the way that I can.
No one.
We’ve talked about sending you to preschool, but the thought of leaving you with someone you don’t know for a long period of time terrifies me.
What if they don’t understand you? Understand your words and your phrases? What if they can’t decipher you the way that I can?
What if they don’t realize that you are a little skittish when it comes to heights and that even going potty on a big boy stool makes you nervous? What if they don’t know that they have to hold your hand or stand right behind you, just so that you know that no one is going to let you fall in when you go tee-tee like a big boy?
What if they don’t know that you sleep with your mouth open, thus waking up from your naps with severe cotton mouth? Cotton mouth so bad that you almost immediately have to have something to drink when you wake up?
What if they don’t understand that your puppy dog isn’t just a stuffed animal to you? Puppy dog is a friend, a playmate, a companion who must go everywhere with you. Puppy dog isn’t to be shared because he’s your friend and not everyone else’s.
What if they try to force you to share? They won’t understand that you love that little stuffed dog like there is no tomorrow. And they’ll get on to you for not sharing your toys…tell you that you have to share or you can’t bring it back.
What if they don’t know that you eat everything with a spoon and not a fork? That you can drink out of a cup, but only with a straw? That you have to fold your hands to say the blessing before meals and that someone other than you has to say “Amen?” What if they don’t understand that you like your hotdogs cut up into pieces and served with ketchup? That you only eat the middle of Oreo’s and that you prefer Ritz Crackers by themselves instead of with Peanut Butter or Cheese?
Mommies know these things.
This mommy knows the shape of your face and the curve of your lips when you are doing something sneaky. This mommy knows that having someone disappointed in you breaks your heart; breaks it so badly that the only way anyone can fix it is with a hug, a kiss and the assurance that you are forgiven. I know that puppy dog requires a hug and a kiss before nap time and bedtime just like you do.
I know that there is a special routine for getting ready for any kind of sleep-nap or bedtime. A routine that requires me telling you that I love you “this much” while stretching my arms out as far as they will go and then wrapping you up. A routine that requires you to do the same…
“Mommy, I love you disssssssss much!”
Then I have to kiss your tiny little mouth, your nose, each of your eyes, and both of your ears. Because that’s just how much I love you. And then you do it back…Hugs, Kiss, Nose, Eyes, Ears.
I know one day I’ll have to let you go. Have to let you journey off into the big wide world and face whatever may come.
I know that.
And you will.
But, for now…
you can stay with me a little longer.
Because everyone else isn’t ready.
Sharing this post for Just Write @ The Extraordinary Ordinary and with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out
Beautiful post. My heart aches a little bit each time I watch my 3 year-old walk through those preschool doors for exactly those reasons. It’s so tough letting them go!
I think that’s only natural. And I’m sure that when my little one gets a bit bigger and starts embarking on life’s little journey’s, that my heart will ache each and every time.
Wow, I totally get this. I have a hard time even sending Jessi to the nursery at church. I’ve been praying through going back to work, and it’s really tough to think about sending my girls to daycare…because no one knows how to care for them like I do. It’s tough because we as their momma’s know BEST and it’s really hard to let go!
I can imagine. I always had a hard time doing that, too. I hated having to walk away from him at church when he was begging for me to come get him. But he always did so great after I left. I know he’d be the same at school, but it’s the thought of leaving him with someone who doesn’t know him or his ways that scares me.
[…] not ready to let you go and I don’t think you are ready to go yet either. Despite wondering whether or not the PreSchool teachers will take care of you the way that I think you need taking ca…, I just don’t think you’ve reached the stage of independence where you will fully […]
I love this. So touching. I am thankful that Dustyn is only in school 3 days a week and only for 3 hours. ha ha. It has been hard.
I can imagine. I don’t even like to think about having to leave Noah somewhere he isn’t familiar with. I’m sure Dustyn absolutely loves it though!
Great post. We were thinking alike this week…. I’m not ready either. To have my babies grow up. Kristen
It’s so hard. I wonder sometimes if I will EVER be ready to let go.
This was beautiful!! Loved it and can totally relate!!!
Thank you, Charlene. It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone!
Oh wow, this is so sweet! It almost made me cry. Hugs for the day when you have to let go, it’s going to be hard.
LOL I almost cried when I wrote it. Hopefully I have a while to continue to prepare myself to let go. I don’t even like to think about how hard it will be.
So beautiful and so true. My children were on the door step of their daycare provides when they were six weeks old. I did not have the honor or privilege of staying home with them. Thus, by the time they got to school, there wasn’t really anything new. Embrace these moments with your precious little one. Mama knows best!
I can’t imagine how hard that was. Now that I’ve been a stay-at-home mom and been able to spend time with my son when he was a newborn, I can’t imagine not doing the same with another child. I have so much respect for mothers who have to work outside the home when their children are little.
Ahh yes, I know this feeling. I still feel it a little bit when I leave my children and they are 12, 10 and 7. But I also firmly believe it’s good for them to have someone do things a little differently and see that the world doesn’t stop spinning after all and that hot dogs taste the same even if they are cut up in a different way.
I agree. It’s so important to give our kids outside influence and show them that the world continues to spin and go around, even if things aren’t always the same for them. But….I don’t think it hurts to hold on to them a bit longer either. They will only be little once.
This is so beautiful and true. Going through it myself 3 times I totally understand and I think it was harder with each one. The baby was ready long before I was. No one knows like Momma
I think that’s the way it usually goes. Kids are always more eager to grow up. I can identify so much more with my own mother now that I have a child of my own.