Where Blogging fits into the Future
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking this weekend.
About my family. About our life here in Alaska. About my business. But mostly about my blog and my writing and what I want to do with it. Where I want to take it.
When I first started this blog back in August of 2008, I was a newly wed awaiting the arrival of our son living 400 miles away from everyone that I knew and adjusting to life as a military spouse. Blogging became a form of therapy that I never anticipated sticking with. It was a bare all place for me to share my struggles and emotions during some of the really hard days; it became a baby book for me to keep track of all of the things that Noah was doing; and it was a way to connect with people-other moms like me-when making friends was hard.
But, it’s been almost FOUR years and nearly 900 posts since I started this journey and I’m reaching a point where I don’t know what to do with it anymore.
Baby #2 will be here in November and I know that I want to spend as much time documenting his or her life in this small virtual space as I did (and continue to do) with Noah. But, as far as everything else? As far as the memes and the linkups and the challenges and sponsorships?
I think I’m ready to hang all of that up and let it go.
I’m never going to be a Babble Top 100 Blogger. I’m most likely never going to be discovered for my wit and way with words in this space. Mommy bloggers (unless you’re Jill Smokler) typically don’t “make it” in the writing world for very long. I know a ton of big name bloggers who are known through Social Sites like Twitter and Facebook and for their writing on places like Babble.
But, I don’t think that’s ever going to be me.
Not because I don’t have people interested in what I’ve got going on, because I do. Those of you who read and comment faithfully light up my days. I appreciate and get excited over every single comment.
Not because I think we live a boring life, because we don’t. We live in Alaska on the Military’s dime. I own a business that grew from this blog (for which I am more thankful than I could ever put into words) and I’m about to have another baby…when most days I can’t find the time to shower and put a decent meal on the table for the one that I already have).
I’m not a scary mommy or a chaotic parent or an attached parent looking to raise awareness for a cause. I’m just a mom trying to make it on my own two feet with my husband by my side and a few kids along the way. I’m a mom doing something she loves until she reaches the point of being able to really do what she dreams of doing.
I’m not a woman who likes to complain about her marriage or her husband, because frankly, I’m pretty in love with the man that I chose and our marriage works. We drive each other nuts some times, but we’re faithful to each other and both agree that life would be miserable if we didn’t have the other alongside of us.
I believe in censorship and don’t blog openly about everything that goes on in my life or with our families…otherwise we might not have anyone speaking to us. Some things, in my opinion, need to be kept private. Which is why my posts don’t stir controversy or receive hundreds of retweets a day on Twitter or dozens upon dozens of shares on Facebook.
Because I’m just me. Just plucking along at the day to day with the intention of looking back on this life when I’m 85 years old and being able to say, “Yeah. It was a hell of a ride.”
So…
That being said.
I’m still not sure where this leaves me as far as my blog goes. Rest assure that there will still be plenty of Noah and the new baby when s/he arrives. There will still be posts about stuff that I’m interested in (like my design business and the work that I do).
But, as far as my own personal attempts at reaching blogging stardom?
I think it’s time to finally drive the last nail in that coffin and realize once and for all that not only is that probably not going to happen for me, these days, I don’t even think I want it to.
I knew from the start I’d never be a bloggy star and I’ve never tried to be that. I blog because I like writing and it’s a great way to document my children (including taking photos and videos, something I wasn’t very good at in my firstborn’s 1st year). It’s also allowed me to connect with moms just like me and that’s one of the greatest things about blogging for me. So no stardom, book deals, or a Babble writing gig, but I have my space, my words, my pictures, my memories and my friends.
May you have much of the same and more. 🙂
I’ve tried reaching for bloggy stardom and tons of views, tons of comments but it just doesn’t happen for me either. What do I have though, are loyal and faithful readers who have become my friends. There aren’t many of them but damn am I appreciative of them.
To me, you are awesome, bloggy fame or no bloggy fame. When I found you I knew you were already well liked and respected…and quite talented to boot! That; to me, carries a lot more weight than being popular.
I wish you the best of success with your endeavors. Hopefully you’ll still blog from time to time once Baby #2 makes his/her debut. I want to see pics of the little one!
Yep. I’ve been there and done that. I took a few weeks once just to SEE how much I could make my site grow in a short period of time…and let me just say that I admire ANYONE who blogs full time and makes a successful living from it. Because blogging for business is a JOB. Reading and commenting on other blogs, doing the social media stuff, etc. is full time and I literally don’t have that kind of time to devote anymore.
I would rather devote all of that time to other things the that I really want to make a go at…like finishing the novel I started on and being with my family. I’ll definitely keep blogging but I’ve decided that I’m going to blog when I have something to say or share. And you can guarantee that Baby #2 will be just as prominent on this blog as Noah always has been. 🙂
Oh phew! I saw your Facebook post linking this blog post right before I walked out the door and I worried you might be quitting blogging. We became friends through blogging and I like to keep up with you this way too! 🙂
I totally understand. There are so many places you can (try to) take your blog. Is it going to make money? Is it going to make you famous? Is it going to help you reach out and connect with other people? Is it just for you? I constantly struggle with what I want to say, how often I want to say it, and how much effort I want it to take up in my life. I struggle with opportunities to make it a total advertising space – sure I can make money selling the header space and the background space and the sidebar space for advertising… but is that what I want? I am considering adding some ads, but of products I fully believe in, or of friends’ businesses that I want to draw attention to.
I can’t blog every day. I’m really trying to just blog once a week. I think I have really narrowed down on my “brand” and what I want to write about – and I like being constrained to write in such a way. And I love it. I love blogging. I love connecting. It is my thing – but when it gets to be too much, I back off. It isn’t my top priority. Being unbelievably popular isn’t my top priority. Reaching Mamas and empowering them through my stories is my priority on my blog.
All that to say (ahem, sorry it is so long… I might be using this as an excuse to get a slight break from the whole parenting gig), glad you’re not going anywhere!
That’s the point I’ve reached. I know that I can’t blog every day. And not only that, but I don’t WANT to. I don’t want to feel forced to blog every time I turn around. I think, like you said, it’s a matter of figuring out exactly what you want to do and how you want to go about writing your blog and sticking with it. I love connecting with the readers that pop in over here and chat. I love encouraging other people in their ambitions (be it photography or starting a business) or just offering encouragement for the day to day. But, I can’t force myself to do it anymore.
I love your blog and I love what you share — photos (beautiful) and about your life. I think it’s healthy to step back and reevaluate from time to time. I have never tried to grow my bog, but through building community with other bloggers, it’s sort of grown itself. Still relatively small, but manageable for me! Thankful you are going to continue blogging for you!
Thank you so much, Barbie! I could never stop blogging completely. I have worked too hard to make this little space my own and I love being able to document our family here (it’s much easier to me than scrapbooking). I just need the reminder every once in a while that I blog for ME and not everyone else.
I know sometimes it feels like blogging has to be “all or nothing.” We’re overachievers, perfectionists, and if we’re not the best (or close to it) it feels like we’re failures. I’m not in a position to give you advice really, but I hope you know that it’s okay to take a break, and come back to it later!
You and I are certainly kindred spirits. Because I’m definitely an all or nothing type person. Not doing something the best that I can drives me bananas. I think that’s why slowing down, stepping back and blogging a little less frequently is going to be a nice change for me. I’ll have more time to devote to REALLY writing the kind of posts I want to write. 🙂
Sigh. Yes. I can’t do it as things stand now, but accepting that it’s not what you want is a good start. I still struggle with that.
And it’s not a failure. You are so true to yourself and you represent your lives beautifully. That’s something to be proud of.
Thank you, Robin! I don’t think I could ever STOP blogging completely. I love having this space to look back on and see my son grow up and how our lives have changed. But, realizing that I can’t blog for everyone else and that I don’t WANT to spend all of my time pushing my writing out there for the Social Media gurus is a big relief. I feel like a weight has been lifted and that I can sit down in this space and just be, without the pressures of appealing to the masses.
I think I blog for me alone. I’m pretty sure I only have one person that looks at my blog and I appreciate that and do love her comments but I did not even know there was a top 100 bloggers list! lol I want a space to “pretend” to share stuff but I don’t have a clear focus so when I do blog, I’m happy that no one really looks because I might look silly. It is a nice little place that is mine and when I get around to blogging, I know it is there and it is my story. I love following your blog because it is so REAL!! Thanks for sharing.
Anna
I think you have the right idea, Anna! I feel like over time I’ve become more “aware” of what I write because I do have so many people who read it. I admire the writers who can dump their heart into their site without feeling any sense of regret or repercussion for it. But, like I mentioned, there are just some things that I want to keep private. Things that I journal in my paper, old fashioned journal. While I love more than anything that some day this blog will have documented our lives, I would rather spend time continuing to capture that and pursuing a type of writing that I want to do long term…like finishing a novel.
I can relate to this totally and completely. Especially the top 100 bloggers list. Oh I’ve had some accomplishments that I’m proud of in my little space. But I have no ideas of success or fame or whatever. And as my boys grow I find it harder to blog about them and our challenges. It was easier when they were babies. Just stay true to yourself.
Thank you, Molly. I think another thing that I have in the back of my mind, too is how much I want to continue to share about Noah as he gets older. I never want to be one of those parents who posts things that would potentially be embarrassing to him or cause him issues when he’s older. Hope you’re feeling better! I saw that you’ve been under the weather. 🙁
I can relate! You know, I finally got to this point where I realized: I’m never going to be Pioneer Woman or Dooce or even CodeName:Mama (my attachment parenting goddess friend) or Dana of MADE (the handmade goddess in my book!) . . . but I’m ME and that’s something. Quite a few friends from high school have been following my blog and I’ve inspired them to be empowered and educated about parenting topics, and I think that’s really neat. But then I log in to my blog and see no new comments and that makes me kind of sad.
So, if my blog is even inspiring one person or making one person’s day with a story of how imperfect people can find peace and empowerment in this crazy world, then I’ll keep writing.
But like you said, we have to decide HOW we want to write, and whether memes and themes and link ups and popularity are important, or if they’re just a cool side effect of being US 😉
I look forward to connecting with you as often as you feel compelled to write. As a fellow Coast Guard wife and a mom to two, I feel connected with you through our shared experiences, and I love your writing style!
You are so right, Amy! I try to keep that mindset as well. I’ve been told several times over the last four years that I inspire my readers because of my business or my photography or whathaveyou. And that’s awesome. I could never LEAVE this little place on the inter webs. I just think that reevaluating and deciding where to go from here in the coming months is what has been on my mind. 🙂
Hi Courtney,
I hate to see you go, I know that I may have only commented once if I remember correctly, but I enjoy your blog. I completely understand and can relate in a way. I’ve been contemplating the same for weeks now. I may have to join on that as well. Good luck and congrats on your coming baby. Be blessed.
I’m not leaving my blog behind, just changing my perspective a bit. I couldn’t leave it. I have poured so much of myself into it over the years that calling it quits and leaving this place empty would be heart breaking. I think, though, that after 4 years it was just time to re-evaluate. 🙂