I spend about 85% of my day-every day-just being a mother.
Lots of things define the role of motherhood. The dictionary defines us as “a female person who is pregnant with or gives birth to a child.”
And while technically that may be true, I’ve never believed that having a baby or being pregnant makes you a mother anymore than contributing sperm to a conception makes a man a father. Biologically, yes. Realistically? No. Anyone can be a mother or a father…but it takes someone special, someone who is ever-present in a child’s life to be a mom or a dad.
Little Man was sick last week. An upset tummy, a lousy appetite and a poor sleeping schedule left me up at random hours running off of little sleep. I spent more time in the bathroom with him than I care to mention. I listened to him scream-not cry, not whine…scream-in agony because his stomach was hurting. It was in those moments that I looked into the eyes of my crying baby, that I fully grasped what being a a mother is.
Being a mom is…
Waking up at any and all hours of the night to comfort, console or rock your child just because they can’t sleep…
Wiping up various bodily fluids without wincing, just because making sure that you kid feels better is more important…
Accepting the fact that will never go to the bathroom in peace again…
Sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night with a basket full of wrapping paper and boxes full of toys to wrap…
And being more excited about wrapping them and seeing your child’s face when they open their gifts than they probably are to be receiving said gifts…
Losing yourself in the laughter and silliness of an otherwise not funny situation just because your child is laughing, too…
Having an accountability partner under 3 feet tall to remind you of all of the things you probably shouldn’t be saying/doing (and by “reminding” I mean emulating your actions in the most awkward of times)…
Sharing your bed with someone whose sleep patterns resemble that of a synchronized swimming routine…
Standing outside the bedroom door for 30 minutes watching your child sleep…
Knowing that certain things have to be done certain ways or else they aren’t right…including how you cut up hotdogs, how many kisses are given at bedtime, and which straw goes with which cup…
Feeling a love so deep and gut-wrenching that it almost makes you stop breathing…every single day.
I get overwhelmed some days by how much I love and adore my child. Not in a “my child is perfect and I give him everything he wants” way. But in a “Wow. I brought this amazing little gift into the world and he’s my responsibility” kind of way. It’s heart stopping to sit back and realize just how important parents are to their children; how vital a solid relationship and consistent presence is in their life. It’s a full time responsibility, met with lots of challenges along the way, but it’s worth it.
In your opinion, does giving birth to a child make you a “mom?”
This is such a great post. Being a mom of three boys 6 and under, I totally agree. Being a Mom is all those things that you listed and you don’t even have to have given birth to that child. I feel like guardians/caregivers (i.e. Older siblings who are forced to take care of younger ones, adoptive parents, foster parents, grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, etc.) are just as much more mothers as the women who birth the kids.
Funny thing is I didn’t realize this until I had my own kids. I had no idea how much my Mom was a Mom to me until I became one.
It is so worth it. Your words are beautiful and so true. I love being a mom, though it is even harder than I realized it would be. It is also more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.
Since becoming a mom, I understood that being pregnant and giving birth are both incredible experiences, but it is being a mom 24/7 that changes your life. It changes your life in ways like you so beautifully describe in your list 🙂
I totally agree with your first paragraph (well really all of this post) but I just wanted to throw it out there that I do not feel like a mom yet. I feel more like I am in transition for what is to come. Kind of like I am in the middle of this journey. There is already nothing I wouldn’t do for the little one growing inside me but I don’t feel like I am actually a mom. At least not in the sense that I have a child. I know that feeling will change when he/she is finally here. Does that make any sense at all? (it’s 3am and i really should be in bed, but can not seem to sleep.)
I love this post. There is so much more to being a mom than giving birth. You described a mom perfectly. I have older kiddos now, so for me it’s trusting them to make good decisions with their lives, not worrying about them when they aren’t with me (well, I still worry), knowing when to let go and let God. Oh those teenage and adult years! You have so much fun to look forward to!
Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2011,, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.
Ellie has been really sick lately too…so this post hit home! I love it! Sometimes I am blown away by how much I can love a human being!
♥ Kyna
This is such a great post. Being a mom of three boys 6 and under, I totally agree. Being a Mom is all those things that you listed and you don’t even have to have given birth to that child. I feel like guardians/caregivers (i.e. Older siblings who are forced to take care of younger ones, adoptive parents, foster parents, grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, etc.) are just as much more mothers as the women who birth the kids.
Funny thing is I didn’t realize this until I had my own kids. I had no idea how much my Mom was a Mom to me until I became one.
Wonderful post! Visiting from JBE.
Oh being a mom is lots of work, but it’s also the most rewarding thing! I just love my mama role! 🙂
It is so worth it. Your words are beautiful and so true. I love being a mom, though it is even harder than I realized it would be. It is also more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.
Since becoming a mom, I understood that being pregnant and giving birth are both incredible experiences, but it is being a mom 24/7 that changes your life. It changes your life in ways like you so beautifully describe in your list 🙂
Anyone can have a baby but raising a child, providing got a child and just being there makes a parent.
Awww – being a mother really does change everything.
No doubt, being a Mom requires a selflessness that reminds me of the definition of “true love.”
I totally agree with your first paragraph (well really all of this post) but I just wanted to throw it out there that I do not feel like a mom yet. I feel more like I am in transition for what is to come. Kind of like I am in the middle of this journey. There is already nothing I wouldn’t do for the little one growing inside me but I don’t feel like I am actually a mom. At least not in the sense that I have a child. I know that feeling will change when he/she is finally here. Does that make any sense at all? (it’s 3am and i really should be in bed, but can not seem to sleep.)
I love this post. There is so much more to being a mom than giving birth. You described a mom perfectly. I have older kiddos now, so for me it’s trusting them to make good decisions with their lives, not worrying about them when they aren’t with me (well, I still worry), knowing when to let go and let God. Oh those teenage and adult years! You have so much fun to look forward to!