What is a Mom?
I left the work force to become a parent.
I spend about 85% of my day-every day-just being a mother.
Lots of things define the role of motherhood. The dictionary defines us as “a female person who is pregnant with or gives birth to a child.”
And while technically that may be true, I’ve never believed that having a baby or being pregnant makes you a mother anymore than contributing sperm to a conception makes a man a father. Biologically, yes. Realistically? No. Anyone can be a mother or a father…but it takes someone special, someone who is ever-present in a child’s life to be a mom or a dad.
Little Man was sick last week. An upset tummy, a lousy appetite and a poor sleeping schedule left me up at random hours running off of little sleep. I spent more time in the bathroom with him than I care to mention. I listened to him scream-not cry, not whine…scream-in agony because his stomach was hurting. It was in those moments that I looked into the eyes of my crying baby, that I fully grasped what being a a mother is.
Being a mom is…
- Waking up at any and all hours of the night to comfort, console or rock your child just because they can’t sleep…
- Wiping up various bodily fluids without wincing, just because making sure that you kid feels better is more important…
- Accepting the fact that will never go to the bathroom in peace again…
- Sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night with a basket full of wrapping paper and boxes full of toys to wrap…
- And being more excited about wrapping them and seeing your child’s face when they open their gifts than they probably are to be receiving said gifts…
- Losing yourself in the laughter and silliness of an otherwise not funny situation just because your child is laughing, too…
- Having an accountability partner under 3 feet tall to remind you of all of the things you probably shouldn’t be saying/doing (and by “reminding” I mean emulating your actions in the most awkward of times)…
- Sharing your bed with someone whose sleep patterns resemble that of a synchronized swimming routine…
- Standing outside the bedroom door for 30 minutes watching your child sleep…
- Knowing that certain things have to be done certain ways or else they aren’t right…including how you cut up hotdogs, how many kisses are given at bedtime, and which straw goes with which cup…
- Feeling a love so deep and gut-wrenching that it almost makes you stop breathing…every single day.
I get overwhelmed some days by how much I love and adore my child. Not in a “my child is perfect and I give him everything he wants” way. But in a “Wow. I brought this amazing little gift into the world and he’s my responsibility” kind of way. It’s heart stopping to sit back and realize just how important parents are to their children; how vital a solid relationship and consistent presence is in their life. It’s a full time responsibility, met with lots of challenges along the way, but it’s worth it.
In your opinion, does giving birth to a child make you a “mom?”
Sharing this post this week with Just Be Enough, Just Write and Pour Your Heart Out.
I never would have guessed all the ways that my life would change after having a baby.
Being a mom is really something so unique and unlike anything else you ever do with your life. It’s amazing, really. What a sweet post!
It’s knowing that the birth of your child was the catalyst for most of what has gone wrong with your life since the birth took place (and there has been a lot of bad stuff going on for me) and loving your child anyway. And not in a spiteful “I-love-you-even-though-you-ruined-my-life” kind of way, but a genuine “I didn’t know love could be like this” kind of way.
As an adoptive mom, I have NEVER beleived giving birth defined motherhood.
To your list I would add the realization that “saying no for your own good may make you dislike me. And that’s okay. We’ll work it out.”