What I Want to Say…
I have so many things that I want to talk about…to blog about.
I want to tell you all that Noah started Preschool on Monday. And I want to go into detail about how I’m feeling about having my biggest baby gone three days a week. How my heart is breaking the tiniest bit because he’s so grown up…but how I’m still secretly happy to have the few hours of alone time with my littlest. And how that is making me feel guilty.
I want to talk about how, even though I love breastfeeding the littlest, it feels a bit lonely sometimes. A bit isolating.
I want to talk about how utterly overwhelmed I feel most days. Between the baby and the laundry and the cleaning and the responsibilities of running a business and entertaining a toddler. It’s a thousand wonders my head hasn’t started spinning around in circles.
I want to talk more about my word of the year and some of the things in my life that I’m working on letting go of. Things that happened in the past that still hold me back. Things that I let hinder me.
I want to talk about all of the things that I am not and why it’s okay. Why it’s perfectly acceptable that I am not the perfect wife and mother and friend. (Because it is, you know…okay not to be perfect, that is.)
But right now I can’t.
There’s a baby needing to be fed, a preschooler who needs a snack and a mountain of laundry that really needs to be put away.
Who am I kidding?
The laundry can wait…
Oh, do I get this. I have so many things that I want to say, and need to say, but I just can’t. Life takes over or there are just things I can’t actually say or I get a moment to sit and write, and I just can’t. It’s so frustrating.
Oy, do I get this. Of course, your priorities have changed and things that seem so trivial (like laundry and dishes) end up taking the wheel your whole life is filled to the brim like it is with a newborn. I hope that when things settle down, if you still need to flush this feelings out and get them onto “paper” to share with us, you can.
I do or have in recent past shared all of these sentiments. Funny how the best years of motherhood are also so overwhelming. I too am extremely overwhelmed. But the babies make it worth it!!
Oh I know exactly how you’re feeling right now. My blog has suffered quite a bit since Easton was born, and so has my clean house. lol. I actually just wrote a post about how my new goal is just to Relax and be OK with all of it. It was therapeutic to write it, now let’s hope I can live it.
Oh girl, I feel you……..I mean completely, totally, KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. The lonely and isolating feeling is all too familiar to this momma who right now is allowing her toddler to watch a cartoon just so I can feel connected some where.
🙂 I <3 You.
I wanted to tell you that I felt isolated when I nursed Cameron a lot of the time. Because of that, I promised myself I would not let breastfeeding isolate me with Gavin. I now only 'escape' to breastfeed if I feel I want the escape and otherwise I just do it where I am in front of whoever I am with.
I guess my point in this is not to say breastfeeding isn't isolating. And you only wrote one sentence so I don't really know how you are feeling, but I want to encourage you and give you permission to stay in whatever social situation you are in if you want to breastfeed. For me, I needed to hear that message a few times before I allowed it to sink in.
And if this doesn't help, then ignore me! 🙂
I know all about everything you want to talk about, to an extent. 🙂
Yes, enjoy those adorable boys!