Searching for what I already Know
I have spent a lot of my life the past five or six years trying to convince God to show me what my “purpose” was in life.
During all of my Wedding Planning, I journaled about the ups and downs of trying to master a perfect ceremony, find the right wedding dress, and how our families were driving me crazy throughout all of it. I journaled about my feelings for my soon-to-be husband, about the life that we would share, and I expressed my fears and anxieties about where life would take us.
During my pregnancy with the little guy, I kept several different journals, including this blog [which was originally titled The Kirkland Family Blog…how unique, right?], in which I chronicled my experiences with morning sickness, back pain, and those first fetal movements. I also kept a pregnancy journal, which I still have and am pulling entries from for the Little Guy’s Project Life book.
During the initial months of new-mommyhood, it was my journal and my blog that kept me sane after spending hours soothing a colicky baby and kept me awake after sleeping a mere three hours in a 24 hour period
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Looking back throughout all of this, I find journal entry after journal entry on how frustrated I am that I don’t know what to do with my life. Multitudes of disheartening paragraphs about how I will never find a purpose; that I’m meant to be “nothing more” than a mother and a wife. And all the while, I realize that God was throwing my purpose, my passion, my future right in my face for me to see.
I used to think that the revealing of God’s will involved nothing short of thunder, lightning, and big theatrical workings equivalent in retrospect to the sinking of the Titanic. I anticipated [maybe a little too strongly] that there would be an audible voice—a big, boisterous, booming voice from the Lord saying, Courtney!! You will fulfill my plan for your life by becoming [insert career aspiration here]. But I was way off.
As it turns out, God didn’t use any of those methods at all. He was actually quiet, patient and still in waiting for me to realize that I already knew the answer to the question I was asking.
I recently heard it said that God’s will is never really that complicated to figure out. You just have to find something that you are pretty good at and that you enjoy, and go with it. See where it takes you. But you have to pursue it wholeheartedly, without resting, and without ceasing to find out what’s in store.
Contrary to my previous thought-pattern, I agree completely. I used to think that anything we set out on without hearing that big, booming voice from God giving us the go-ahead, was selfish motivation and sure to leave us without any kind of fulfillment and contentment. So I wasted a lot of years, a lot of time that I could have devoted to something else, just waiting. Waiting for someone to point me in a direction; waiting for someone to do the manual labor for me; waiting for someone to hand me my dreams on a silver platter so that I could just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Nuh-uh.
Doesn’t work that way.
See, God has given each of us a passion…a desire…a wish, if you will. A dream for most of us that seems too big for us to fathom. And you know what the kicker is? He’s also given us the ability to make it happen. Within each and every one of us, there is a power, a drive, and a motivation to make things happen. A determination to achieve all that we have set out to achieve in life. But here’s the kicker: some of us [and up until recently myself included] are just too lazy to do the work; or we’re full of too many excuses; or we are scared…excuse after pitiful excise of things that HOLD US BACK.
Well not anymore.
I want to introduce you to:
Inspired by Proverbs 16:9 which says “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
After the comments and the email’s I received from this post and this post, I decided that I needed to start a weekly linkup in which we set out and GO AFTER those things in life that we want. The steps aren’t going to be major; they aren’t going to be scary. And truthfully, they probably won’t require much effort in the beginning. I know that there are special circumstances [small children, financial strain, etc.] that may be physically holding you back right now, but I’m wanting to address the personal issues…the fears and the negativity that keep you stuck in the rut and not chasing down what you want.
Each week, I’m going to post an assignment. Now don’t freak out, like I said this won’t be hard. It’s supposed to be fun, inspirational, and creative. A way to GET YOU GOING. Every Wednesday, I’m going to post an assignment…a small project for you to do during the week to get your creativity flowing, and to get you brainstorming your future. You’ll have all week to write about it, and then the following week, you’ll share a post, a photo, or a vlog about the assignment.
I’ll be posting every Wednesday about Goal-Setting, achieving, and sharing some Faith stories along the way…lessons about the things that hinder us, and inviting you to share your stories as well.
Easy, right?!
This week, I’m going to keep it simple. I just want to see who all is interested in this. I’ve included a linky at the bottom of the post, so if you think you want to join in and take part…link up! Link to your “About Me” page if you have one, or if you feel frisky, you’re welcome [and encouraged] to write an entire post about this! It’s up to you.
I’m excited to set out on this journey with you guys. I hope you’ll join in. I’m putting together more information on this and will be sharing more details soon! Feel free to snag the banner and link it back here…I’ll be getting a button together for you to grab in the next day or so! Get excited folks! This just might be Epic!
[Joining Wordful/ish Wednesday withparenting by dummies, project alecia, supermom
and seven clown circus and with Women Living Well Wednesday]
