Realize

Don’t you guys love those moments in life where you get all philosophical and life just starts throwing these deep thoughts your way? Maybe it’s the island fever lifting, but that’s how I’ve felt the last several days. Having time to sit in silence while Noah naps and Josh is in class have led me to some great conclusions and certain realizations.

I’ve realized that my baby is, isn’t so much a baby anymore. I’m sure most of you probably already knew that. But it took a trip to Target through the “Big Boy” clothes section to realize that he’s growing up. And that he can wear a size 4/XS in shirts. Which means that I don’t have to buy the 4T/5T shirts anymore. He’s in just regular clothes now. ::tear::

I’ve realized that this pregnancy is moving much faster than my first one did in terms of how my body is reacting and changing. While we were out shopping I decided to go ahead and pick up some maternity clothes (since there’s no where to buy stuff like that in Kodiak). Maternity pants? Yep. Those fit already. Maternity shirts? Pass the large my way. And while we’re at it lets pick up a new bra. One whole size bigger than what I wear now. Surely this isn’t a sign of what’s the come. But what’s funny? I have only gained a pound.

I realized yesterday after getting out of the shower, that I will probably never be a size 5 again like I was in High School. I know they tell you that your body changes during pregnancy, but I didn’t realize how much until yesterday. I don’t know if it’s the leftover changes from when I was pregnant with Noah, or if it’s something new with this baby, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get down to that size again.

I realized that my heart can expand and can hold more love than I originally thought it could. Spending time with Little Man during the week…watching him “experience” the simple things he misses in Kodiak again (like going to Toys-R-Us) makes my heart swell and I swear that I love this kid even more as the days go by. And I know that it will be the same with another baby.

I realize that there are some things that just aren’t what they seem they are. Some people who aren’t what they seem to be. That’s just the cold hard truth no matter how you look at it. I also realize that this knowledge, is the reason I have been and continue to be so guarded about who I associate with and who we let into our lives. Because people change. Quickly. Whether you realize that they are or not.

Lastly, I’ve realized that my husband, my son and this new little baby are the best things that have ever happened to me. I love my family more than words could ever begin to explain.