Things Mommies Know
I know that I should learn to let go a little bit…
to trust people to take care of you the way that I do.
But that will never happen.
Because no one can take care of you the way that I can.
No one.
We’ve talked about sending you to preschool, but the thought of leaving you with someone you don’t know for a long period of time terrifies me.
What if they don’t understand you? Understand your words and your phrases? What if they can’t decipher you the way that I can?
What if they don’t realize that you are a little skittish when it comes to heights and that even going potty on a big boy stool makes you nervous? What if they don’t know that they have to hold your hand or stand right behind you, just so that you know that no one is going to let you fall in when you go tee-tee like a big boy?
What if they don’t know that you sleep with your mouth open, thus waking up from your naps with severe cotton mouth? Cotton mouth so bad that you almost immediately have to have something to drink when you wake up?
What if they don’t understand that your puppy dog isn’t just a stuffed animal to you? Puppy dog is a friend, a playmate, a companion who must go everywhere with you. Puppy dog isn’t to be shared because he’s your friend and not everyone else’s.
What if they try to force you to share? They won’t understand that you love that little stuffed dog like there is no tomorrow. And they’ll get on to you for not sharing your toys…tell you that you have to share or you can’t bring it back.
What if they don’t know that you eat everything with a spoon and not a fork? That you can drink out of a cup, but only with a straw? That you have to fold your hands to say the blessing before meals and that someone other than you has to say “Amen?” What if they don’t understand that you like your hotdogs cut up into pieces and served with ketchup? That you only eat the middle of Oreo’s and that you prefer Ritz Crackers by themselves instead of with Peanut Butter or Cheese?
Mommies know these things.
This mommy knows the shape of your face and the curve of your lips when you are doing something sneaky. This mommy knows that having someone disappointed in you breaks your heart; breaks it so badly that the only way anyone can fix it is with a hug, a kiss and the assurance that you are forgiven. I know that puppy dog requires a hug and a kiss before nap time and bedtime just like you do.
I know that there is a special routine for getting ready for any kind of sleep-nap or bedtime. A routine that requires me telling you that I love you “this much” while stretching my arms out as far as they will go and then wrapping you up. A routine that requires you to do the same…
“Mommy, I love you disssssssss much!”
Then I have to kiss your tiny little mouth, your nose, each of your eyes, and both of your ears. Because that’s just how much I love you. And then you do it back…Hugs, Kiss, Nose, Eyes, Ears.
I know one day I’ll have to let you go. Have to let you journey off into the big wide world and face whatever may come.
I know that.
And you will.
But, for now…
you can stay with me a little longer.
Because everyone else isn’t ready.
Sharing this post for Just Write @ The Extraordinary Ordinary and with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out
So true! Even this year – dropping my babies off at kindergarten and 2nd grade – I teared up a bit.
I don’t blame you. If we don’t decide to Homeschool long-term, I can guarantee that I will cry when I drop my son off at school the first time.
Oh man. It is so hard to let them go. It’s nice to keep them around longer I think.
I agree. I really don’t think there is any harm in holding onto our kids just a little bit longer. We can’t get these years back.
No one knows them better than us! All of these little traits you wrote about made my heart melt at the thought of sending him out. So sweet!
There are just some things that even the most well meaning people will never know or understand about our children. 🙂
Beautiful post.
You are right – no one knows your child inside and out like their mama.
Nope. They sure don’t!
Oh, this is so sweet. No one knows our kids like we do. But, I’ve also learned that by letting mine go, others have been able to show me parts of my boys that even I didn’t know. Different people see different sides and it’s taught me a lot to let mine go.
That’s a great perspective, Shell. I had never thought about it that way, but you’re so right. I know that I remember hearing my mom say that she learned more about me and different aspects of my personality through things that my teachers would tell her as I was growing up. But, it’s still so hard to let go…even when we know that our kids really will be okay.
Mommy will always be the one who understands all those wonderful little quirks. It is hard to trust someone else to take care of your child.
Yep. We definitely will. I don’t think anyone will ever know our kids the way that we do.
I just went through those same conversations in my head when my daughter started daycare/preschool two days a week. Letting go is so hard. And I wanted so badly to just be a fly in the wall or peek through the windows so I could decipher her toddler talk, step in when someone tried to steal her toys or when she was stealing someone elses. It’s so very hard.
I know what you mean. The thought of someone not quite “getting him” drives me crazy and almost makes me queasy. LOL Us mama’s are so protective.
So what I’m going through right now! Why is
It so hard leave your kiddo with others.
Tell me about it! It’s so hard!
Love this, friend! There’s nothing more fierce than Mama love!
You’ve got that! 🙂 Us mama’s are intense!
so so sweet courtney! i know exactly how you feel. love on that baby just a little bit longer 😉 they won’t be this small forever.
You’re absolutely right. Even though I think we all wish they’d stay that way for a while longer!