Things Mommies Know
I know that I should learn to let go a little bit…
to trust people to take care of you the way that I do.
But that will never happen.
Because no one can take care of you the way that I can.
No one.
We’ve talked about sending you to preschool, but the thought of leaving you with someone you don’t know for a long period of time terrifies me.
What if they don’t understand you? Understand your words and your phrases? What if they can’t decipher you the way that I can?
What if they don’t realize that you are a little skittish when it comes to heights and that even going potty on a big boy stool makes you nervous? What if they don’t know that they have to hold your hand or stand right behind you, just so that you know that no one is going to let you fall in when you go tee-tee like a big boy?
What if they don’t know that you sleep with your mouth open, thus waking up from your naps with severe cotton mouth? Cotton mouth so bad that you almost immediately have to have something to drink when you wake up?
What if they don’t understand that your puppy dog isn’t just a stuffed animal to you? Puppy dog is a friend, a playmate, a companion who must go everywhere with you. Puppy dog isn’t to be shared because he’s your friendΒ and not everyone else’s.
What if they try to force you to share? They won’t understand that you love that little stuffed dog like there is no tomorrow. And they’ll get on to you for not sharing your toys…tell you that you have to share or you can’t bring it back.
What if they don’t know that you eat everything with a spoon and not a fork? That you can drink out of a cup, but only with a straw? That you have to fold your hands to say the blessing before meals and that someone other than you has to say “Amen?” What if they don’t understand that you like your hotdogs cut up into pieces and served with ketchup? That you only eat the middle of Oreo’s and that you prefer Ritz Crackers by themselves instead of with Peanut Butter or Cheese?
Mommies know these things.
This mommy knows the shape of your face and the curve of your lips when you are doing something sneaky. This mommy knows that having someone disappointed in you breaks your heart; breaks it so badly that the only way anyone can fix it is with a hug, a kiss and the assurance that you are forgiven. I know that puppy dog requires a hug and a kiss before nap time and bedtime just like you do.
I know that there is a special routine for getting ready for any kind of sleep-nap or bedtime. A routine that requires me telling you that I love you “this much” while stretching my arms out as far as they will go and then wrapping you up. A routine that requires you to do the same…
“Mommy, I love you disssssssss much!”
Then I have to kiss your tiny little mouth, your nose, each of your eyes, and both of your ears. Because that’s just how much I love you. And then you do it back…Hugs, Kiss, Nose, Eyes, Ears.
I know one day I’ll have to let you go. Have to let you journey off into the big wide world and face whatever may come.
I know that.
And you will.
But, for now…
you can stay with me a little longer.
Because everyone else isn’t ready.
Sharing this post for Just Write @ The Extraordinary Ordinary and with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out
Tough letting go. Good thing he’s not old enough to have to leave you just yet. When he is, you’ll be more ready & he’ll have the wings you gave him.
Thank you, Cheryl. I hope so! I think I’ll hold on to him a bit longer while he still lets me. π
My oldest son was always in day care….and I was always his day care teacher! My middle daughter started school at three, but had been with me since she was placed in my home at fifteen months. My youngest daughter has never been away from me for more than a few hours….and only when she was asleep. I’m grateful I can take her to work with me. I mean, who else would hold her while she sleeps?!?
I understand completely! They definitely wouldn’t get that kind of attention (being held while they sleep) in a normal school setting. π
It’s always harder on the mommies than the kids. I almost cried taking Keegan back to school after having him home all week for fall break. It was like starting all over again. Sweet post! Hope you guys are all doing well!
I can understand that. I can imagine you got used to having him back home (and I’m sure Presley was glad to have her big brother around, too!). We are doing good! Getting ready for winter and this birthday shindig this weekend. How are you guys? Still busy, busy?
So beautiful!
I couldn’t imagine anyone else taking care of Maddy either. I am going to have a cow for sure when we leave next week for St. Kitts! We’ll be gone for 9 days and we are leaving Maddy with Sean’s mom. It’s going to kill me!
I had a hard time leaving Noah with my mom or with Josh’s mom for extended periods of time, too. There is no one else (besides us) that I would trust him with more, but it’s that whole “out of site” thing. I was a wreck when Josh and I were both in California and Noah was in Alabama, but we survived it. Thinking of you guys!!
Awww what a sweet post my friend. How you doing?
I’m good. Still in waiting mode this month…. π How are YOU?!
No one will ever do it like Mama does. π
You’ve got that right! π
Oh the places they will go, right? So so so sweet, that kid is beautiful.
Thank you! That’s one of my favorite books. Such a great message for our kids (and to us mamas in reminding ourselves that we have to let them go eventually).
that kid is gorgeous! this is a really sweet post. My youngest two have a “bunny” and “bear.” Puppy dog almost made me cry.
Aww, thank you! I never knew a child could get so attached to a stuffed animal…but this boy LOVES his doggie.
I totally know how you feel!!! Sometimes I sit at night while I’m rocking my Little Man or getting him back to sleep an hour after he goes to bed (happens every.night) and I think about how nobody else would know how to do it and nobody else knows the right way to get him to sleep or that he likes to carry his milk around with him ALL DAY or that he has to be held a certain way to get back to sleep. I even caught myself crying over it the other night thinking about how I don’t WANT anyone else to know how to do those things either. I have also thought about taking Case to daycare like 1 day/week just so I could get something done during the day but I, like you, know that those people won’t know how to take care of him…what will he do at naptime? Nobody knows hw to get him to sleep and he wouldn’t let somebody do it either.
Know that you’re totally not alone in these feelings and it made me feel better to hear it from you π
Yep. I get it. There are just some things about my son that I know that no one, not even his daddy, would be able to do. It must just be one of those magic mommy things. And you’re right…no one would know how to do some of these things right. No one would know that when my son goes to sleep, there is a certain way he has to be tucked in, else he won’t sleep. And the thought that someone might neglect that because they are “too busy” with other kids to give him that kind of little attention makes me nauseous. LOL So happy to hear that I am not alone.
I remember leaving my oldest at day care for the first time (he was almost 2, and it was only for two hours). I walked away from the house crying. It broke my heart, and I had to keep reminding myself of all the stories I’d heard about kids who thrived when their parents thought they couldn’t possibly. My son never once looked back. In some ways that reaction never goes away…the mom’s reaction, I mean. A few weeks ago I sent my youngest for an all-day adventure with his daddy, and I felt weepy and weird about that. I was used to sending the other two off, but this one?
I totally get it. There is no one that I trust my son with more than his daddy….but I still get all weepy sometimes leaving him. Especially when he so vocally wants his mama. I don’t think we, as moms, ever fully adjust to being without or away from our children.