Losing Your Integrity to Competition
Being a business owner scares me.
Not because of money. Or liability. Or fear of messing up someones blog or website. Those things could be bad; cataclysmic even to my business or my reputation. Those things worry me, but they aren’t the things that I dwell on. Those things that leave me antsy here and there, but they don’t really bother me.
What I worry about is becoming like so many other big business owners or bloggers.
Losing myself to the business.
Forgetting who I am…what I enjoy…why I enjoy it.
More than anything, sometimes I worry about losing my integrity and willingness to help out someone who is just beginning.
When I first started designing, I had one designer in particular who went out of her way to answer my questions, give me advice, and just offer her moral support when I wasn’t sure I could make it in this business. I had a few friends who knew coding and styling who pointed me in the right direction when I was just staring at stylesheet without a clue as to how to edit it.
I’ve had experienced photographers offer insight on setting up shots and tweaking my technical approach here and there. I’ve had friends tell me when images just flat out weren’t any good; providing honest insight and feedback into what I could do better.
I’ve had bloggers message me when they saw a particular word misspelled or sentence that didn’t make sense. I’ve had them add my sites to meme linkups because we live in Alaska and I’m usually too late getting up in the morning (since we’re four hours behind ET) to really gain any traffic from their linkups.
The way I see it you have dozens upon dozens of people out there who are willing to help you out when you are getting on your feet and starting in a new venture. Most people don’t mind because they’ve been there.
But others….
Other people?
Other photographers? Other designers? Other bloggers?
They can be viscous. They can be catty and competitive. Stealing ideas and running with them; passing them off as their own. Saying things…doing things…sending emails or making comments to diminish everything that you’ve worked for. Putting you and your abilities down, comparing your technique to theirs. Your abilities to their own. Your weaknesses to their strong suits.
And I fear ever becoming that.
I don’t want to be like that.
I want to be a designer who isn’t afraid to share what I’ve learned. To share tidbits of information that might help someone who isn’t as comfortable in their know how, figure out where to begin. I want to share what I’ve learned the hard way through three and a half years of owning an SLR Camera, with those who have never moved their camera off the “auto” mode. I want to give feedback to bloggers who are just starting up and don’t know how to grow their readership.
I hate competition. I hate rivaling with people who feel that they have to one up everyone else; that feel that they are the only ones with ideas and abilities and that no one else can say or do or accomplish anything. Because they have already. I hate arrogance and snobbery.
I don’t want to be like that.
I want to be someone that readers and potential business owners can reach out to when they aren’t sure. Someone that they aren’t intimidated by or scared to ask a question to because they still feel like they can connect with me and identify with where I’ve been. I’ve always wanted to contribute. To share what I know. To give back in whatever way that I can.
I never want to be someone who forgets where she started. Forgets that at one point, no matter how long ago that “point” was, I was a beginner. A newbie. A baby in the business who didn’t know where she was going or how she even got to the point that she was at.
I don’t know it all. I don’t have ideas that are any better than anyone else’s. I don’t pretend to be the expert, because I’m not. In fact, if you google “rules” for photography or proper graphic design techniques, I’ve probably broken them all. And I’m 100% positive that at some point I broke a few of the cardinal rules of blogging (colored text and backgrounds, anyone? Hello 2007 Blogger templates….).
I never want to lose sight of my integrity or my willingness to share what I know.
Because if I do, then what’s the point?
Sharing this post with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out…a blogger who without a doubt constantly gives back to her readers and the blogging community.
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I get this. I hate competition too. In other areas of life as well such as motherhood. Why can’t we just do this together? What are we trying to prove? I remember reaching out to you when I first started and you wrote me a great email with wonderful advice. I still appreciate that.
AMEN! Competition between mom’s absolutely drives me batty! Women ca be so catty and mean. 🙂
Amen!
Probably the top reason that I love seeing your feed in my inbox is because you are so genuine and so nice and so helpful. I don’t like bloggers because they are big. . . I like them because they are authentic and just plain wonderful. Same with businesses. If you’re nice to me, I love you. If you’re too cool for school, I’m going to walk away 🙂 <3
Thank you, Amy!! What a sweet compliment. It means so much to know that you consider me as one of those authentic and genuine bloggers. 🙂 And I’m with you. If you’re too cool for me, I probably won’t ever return.
Not a problem 😉 I know you fear that you could become one of those too-cool-for-school bloggers, but I don’t think you ever could. And if you do (which you won’t) , I’ll call you out on it!
Bloggy-Friends don’t let Bloggy-Friends blog self-righteously. Oh, I should make a badge out of that.
Mmmm…. interesting post AND comments!! 🙂
My blogging has nothing to do with “business” so I guess I come from a different perspective. I’ve always had really good experiences when I’ve reached out to other bloggers with questions or advice about blogging. Generally, people have offered it. If they couldn’t, they told me politely. (That happened with two bigger bloggers I asked last year to help me promote Bloggers for Birth Kits – turned me down, but gracefully.)
I’m no expert at anything. 🙂 But I do have a constant stream of emails that are generated through my blog. It baffles me that most of these are from people who never, ever comment. But they write asking for advice, for help, for prayer. It’s mostly all parenting-related. (And even blogging/technical stuff! Hello? I’m NO expert! haha.) Sometimes they write just thanking me. I spend A LOT of time responding to these. Not because I have to, but because I *want* to. This is what my blog is meant to be for – a connecting point for pregnant moms or moms with young children – to encourage and help them where I can. So for me, it’s a non-issue. I will always try to respond. (Sometimes just not as quickly as I want to.)
I can understand that it would (and should) be a little different for a blogger with a business. Totally different approach there. I think it’s pretty rare that bloggers don’t “pay it forward” though. From what I’ve seen, most do. (Of course there is always the exception!) But then again, maybe they aren’t “paying it forward” the WAY we think they should, so we assume they aren’t. (Unfair.) We’ll never really know how much others are helping others, because we’re just not in their head or on the other side of the email account. It’s not fair for us to get mad at them if they haven’t responded to us – we have no idea what else they’re carrying behind the scenes.
Anyway, I’m not disagreeing with you here at all. But I do think that we have to be careful not to assume others’ intentions. In saying that, stealing ideas and taking credit for it, etc is just flat-out wrong and not ok. Whether it’s a business endeavor or not.
And lastly, I think you’re a very generous blogger and I’d recommend anyone to do business with you!!!
I agree, Adriel! I think that none of us ever really knows what’s going on behind someones computer screen. I do a lot of emailing and answering questions as well. And so many people don’t have those “front and center” kinds of personalities either, and prefer to do their work behind the scenes. I think, though, that you can tell by a persons disposition and presence on their on site and in social media if they are the kind that are or aren’t giving back or wanting to give back. Those kinds of personalities shine through. 🙂 Thanks for the great insight and thoughts, love! 🙂 And for your sweet compliment!
Well, you know I just HAD to chime in. 😛
When I first started blogging and designing, I offered tutorials and eventually workshops in conjunction with my design site. I noticed that blog designer’s waiting lists were off the charts, and I too was ALWAYS busy and always had a full schedule. The combination of interest in what I do, and the demand for design lead me to create The Blog Designer Network where hundreds of new designers have learned how to do what we do. Yes, it created competition, and yes I probably lost out on clients because they hired someone I taught instead. But sharing knowledge is so important to me personally that I was never willing (and will never BE willing) to not use it as part of a great business model or just general personal integrity.
That said, I am (and several others are) literally part of your network of competitors in some form. We create blogs and websites, want to share what we know, and while it seems like we all come from the same mold – we don’t. We are different, and are good at different things. (Hello, photography? I have a camera phone.) Some may steal content, ideas, designs, or other material either directly or indirectly – but those people are quickly spotted and easily dismissed. Original people with original ideas prevail. That’s not to say we don’t draw inspiration from one another. I usually draw inspiration from sites like this and others as a deviation from what I want to be. (i.e. How can I be different?). I’m sure you do the same.
I feel like I’ve had great success online (especially after seeing that 1099-K 😉 and working for myself for the past two years. I do take pride in that, because it’s rare and exciting. But I always bring myself back down to earth and remember the struggles I’ve had, days I wanted to quit, and people who helped me along the way.
I could probably continue forever on this topic, but I’ll just close with this: You have wonderful ideas, are genuine, transparent, and unique. People can sense that. Just do what you do, and do it better than anyone else.
And this is why I <3 you, April! I think it's only normal for any of us with businesses to take pride in our successes. It's natural and I think it's necessary to drive us forward into doing even more with ourselves and our businesses.
When we get good at something, we should strive to be better, etc. I think you've done a fantastic job with your business and the BDN. I love being part of a group of like minded and creative individuals that can not only offer insight, advice and criticism when things are wonky, but who can also keep competition at a level that only encourages and pushes us all to be better. THAT'S the kind of competition that I enjoy. We all have our strong suits for sure. But I agree that we all draw inspiration from each other.
You have a valid and sincere point here, Courtney. But the fact that you have posted about it means that you are not like that (you just contradicted the two fears you mentioned). You taught us some valuable points and it reflects your integrity as a blogger, entrepreneur and mother.
Thank you so much! I really, really appreciate that! Keeping a strong sense of integrity and maintaining a professional manner in any area of business is something I strive for on a daily basis.
I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Whenever I have asked you a questions regarding the design stuff, you have always helped me. For that, I’m so grateful. You’re too sweet to be one of “them”.
Thanks girl! 🙂 Always happy to help out however I can! Are you planning to move forward and pursue design on the side? Or just doing it as a hobby?
I’m trying to turn it into a business I can do on the side. I’m still learning though.
Have you checked out the classes offered at TheBDN.com? They have some GREAT startup classes on everything from coding to design to business practices.
I couldn’t agree more, with some of your post. I believe firmly in mentors, and that is what you are describing. You were obviously lucky enough when you were starting out to find people who took an interest in you and made a sacrifice to help you in your search for knowledge and education. The key thing here is YOU were looking, you were working and in putting for that effort, and you found these people. They saw in you potential and gave to you freely what they had worked hard for, knowing you where worth their effort and that you valued what they were giving.
What I have trouble with is the generalization that ALL should give freely to EVERYONE knowledge that they have worked hard to receive for themselves. I am a business owner, not in the blog world or photography, but in design, and nothing is more hurtful then when I have spent hours developing a design, and then someone else passes it off as their own, and proceed to make money off my work.
I have spent most of my life in my field, and 6 years owning my own business and have learned a lot. Some from mentors, some from paid education and a TON from hard work, personal sacrifice and research. I guess I take offense when I read that my lack of wanting to share my knowledge and information freely makes me a snob and arrogant.
I am a mentor to several people, but I agree with Shell, it can become draining and you have to choose carefully how you choose to do this.
Heres how I see it. Education is not free nor is it easy. There is a price, whether that be money, time or effort does not matter. It has value. To those seeking knowledge you must be willing to sacrifice time and effort to truly become educated. And to those willing to impart knowledge and be a mentor, be wise stewards of the education and knowledge you have. You have sacrificed to receive this knowledge and so did those who chose to mentor and assist you, by giving away this knowledge freely, you are in effect saying THEIR effort, THEIR trust and THEIR time to teach you was of no value or consequence.
By all means be a mentor, share with those that seek your help, when you are able, but do not confuse mentoring with a hand-out.
Thank you so much for your insightful comment, Carrie! I was not describing someone like you at all (who mentors and helps and contributes to others) when I said arrogant and snobbish. I apologize if that offended you in any way. I thought that my description of those that I was referring to was more spot on, but I guess not. I wasn’t making that generalization at all.
I agree 100% with what you were saying about people WORKING for what they are trying to achieve. Striving to learn, spending time researching and put forth effort on your own is a must. I would never just give someone information that was sitting around on their behind waiting for a handout. I think by being a mentor to however many people you are mentoring is most DEFINITELY giving back and sharing what you know.
Great conversation on this. So happy you chimed in!
YES. That is a mission statement better than any businesses I know. I hate competition, also. It’s a big web. There’s more than enough room for all of us.
AND because I am a talented genius, I hit send way before I was done. I wanted to also say that, given a choice and foreknowledge, I avoid dealing with the jerks whenever possible. I prefer the nice people.
I couldn’t agree more. I don’t venture to blogs or businesses where I know the owners aren’t going to be friendly and interact with their readers/customers. I just stay clear of those sites completely. And YES. It is a really, really big web.
To be completely honest, I have A LOT of trouble sharing anything now because I’ve been taken advantage of…to the point where other bloggers and another company owner have stolen my text and images word for word to use on their own sites, after I took the time to help them out! It’s disheartening.
Really enjoying your posts! 🙂
I am so, so sorry that this has happened to you, Amanda! I’ve actually had something similar happen to me as well. There’s another designer floating around out there who has taken my ideas, my designs, etc. and turned them into her own and made money off of it. It’s very disheartening. And I can understand WHY it’s hard to continue sharing and helping other people.
I think in situations like that, I’ve just made up my mind to move forward and acknowledge that there ARE other people that notice things like that. Other people can see when someone’s ideas aren’t really their own. And karma always makes its way back around. (That doesn’t lighten the circumstance at all…I know.)
This was an interesting post for me to read and I have mixed feelings about it. Personally, I don’t think there is anything wrong with those who don’t share everything they have worked hard to learn. Arrogance and snobbery? Sure, nobody likes that. But a business professional protecting information that they have worked hard to learn? I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. We all have to start somewhere, but I don’t expect that anyone OWES me anything or that they have to freely give me knowledge. They worked hard for it, I can too.
I’m incredibly grateful to the mentors I have had, but I paid them to be my mentors. They learned and then passed it on, but it had a price. I’m a huge proponent of capitalism ,and free enterprise and entrepreneurship is part of that. Everyone doesn’t deserve to have everything that everyone else has.
I’m fairly new to the world of photography (coming up on 3 years now) but I have worked my tail off to learn what I have learned. I put in long hours and late nights and have taken hundreds of thousands of images. I stay up into the wee hours and then get up to take care of my family. I’ve missed time with my family because I’m building my business. It’s a choice I’ve made, but it is still a sacrifice. The time, money, and effort represent a huge part of my heart that I’ve put into becoming a photographer. But I love what I do. It is a part of me. Capturing moments for others and my own family makes everything worth it.
I receive a lot of emails and messages and I help where I can. I spend hours responding each week. I have mentors and I have those that I mentor. But I don’t think I have to be EVERYONE’s mentor. I don’t have to give all of my knowledge away. That would undermine everything that I’ve spent the last 3 years working for. Like Shell said, it’s not about competition. It’s not about hoarding information. It’s about progressing in the profession I’ve chosen. And taking care of my family.
I’ve put together workshops to help others learn what I’ve learned rather than give everything up freely. Because ultimately, it IS a business. If I am going to sacrifice time away from my family (which is my most important role) then it needs to be worth it.
I think we all have to decide what our goals and the purpose of our business is. I love to teach and I’m good at it. I’ve helped hundreds of people learn how to use their cameras. Many people have started businesses and are really great photographers in part because of my mentorship. That makes me so happy. I want to share what I’ve learned and I do. But I’ve worked really, really, really hard for it and I don’t think I should made feel like I have to give it away.
I agree. I didn’t mean that we should all share EVERYTHING that we know to the point that no one else has to work for something. That’s not what I meant at all. I just mean that there are some people (bloggers, photographers, designers…people in every profession) that don’t want to share ANYTHING. People who won’t even answer simple emails from interested readers who have questions.
No one is entitled to anything. And I think that others should work hard for what they want, too. But it’s the idea that you can’t help someone out once in a while that I’m referring to. The “I’m better than you….I’ve moved beyond YOUR level…You need to figure it out on your own because I’m too busy…” attitude that gets me. And that’s the attitude that I’m referring to here. I don’t expect anyone to spoon feed me anything, and I don’t think others should either.
But, I do believe in giving back, and I know you do, too. 🙂 It’s the others…the ones who don’t give of anything that frustrate me.