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When Joy comes Reluctantly

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  1. […] few weeks ago I wrote a post about how hard it can be to be overly excited for your pregnant friends when you yourself are having a hard time getting […]

  2. Callie says:

    I can completely relate to the emotions you are describing – we had to try a while for our first baby, and it seemed like everyone was getting pregnant and I couldn’t! It’s a hard thing to struggle with those emotions, especially when the Lord tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice”. Sometimes the rejoicing is hard.

    P.S. It seems like everyone is getting pregnant these days, no? It doesn’t make it any easier, that’s for sure!

    • Courtney K. says:

      Thank you, Callie. YES. The rejoicing is hard when you want something so bad and aren’t getting it. But it’s been so helpful and encouraging to have people here on my blog (and through Twitter, Facebook, etc) to talk to and understand.

  3. Miranda says:

    I don’t know what to say except for keep faith, and your in my prayers.

  4. Elena says:

    This is a tough one. It took me 2 years to get pregnant with my oldest son and I remember those feelings. You were so happy for your friends, but there still was that hurt inside. I honestly don’t remember how I got past those feelings – I think I might have just thought it would be my turn someday. Good luck to you!

    • Courtney K. says:

      Thank you, Elena! That’s the mentality that’s going through my mind with each new pregnancy announcement. “One day…”

  5. The thing many don’t realize is, when you have the baby urge, each month passes as an eternity. Some people live through many, other’s just a few, but it is no less heart striking when it isn’t your month.

    I’m very lucky – my fertility issue was an “easy” one – take a pill every day (find the right dose) and POOF.

    But each cycle until that was discovered was agony, as not only friends but Angelina Jolie and Katie Holmes taunted me from every supermarket check out lane.

    The guilt of each person having “happy news” as I wondered “why not me?” was horrible.

    The only thing to make it better was talk about my frustrations to others, especially those who had been there and knew what I was going through.

    Good luck. Sometimes that is all it takes.

    • Courtney K. says:

      It really does. 6 months seems like 6 years some day, and each negative test only screams at the reality that another long month is ahead of us. And I’ve found that talking (or in my case, blogging) about my feelings, I find support and encouragement from SO many people. It helps to know that I’m not alone.

  6. Shell says:

    50? Wow, that’s a lot. Especially while you are trying.

    Sending you prayers that you can have another baby soon.

    • Courtney K. says:

      LOL I am not even kidding. It’s unreal. Maybe I need to eat/drink whatever it is they’ve been eating/drinking.

  7. it took us TWO years to get pregnant with parker, so i’m nervous to start trying w/ number two. the funny thing is that we totally got pregnant when we weren’t even thinking about it & had accepted it wouldn’t happen. i guess my only advice as to how we got through was we came to peace with our lives as they were & promised ourselves we’d be happy with whatever outcome we had. whether we were gonna adopt, be kidless, or get pregnant years later… we just lived our lives & went day by day enjoying the things we had!

    • ps: i totally am not implying that you DONT enjoy the things you do have, i’m just saying that in those two years we were trying but didn’t get pregnant, we made a conscious effort to make the best with what we had. we traveled, we dated {as a happy no-kid married couple can}, we did all kinds of things. maybe spend all kinds of time doing things you won’t be able to do for a while w/ two kids? just take this time & give it all to noah because when baby #2 does come along you’ll never have this one on one time back!

      • Courtney K. says:

        I knew what you meant. 🙂 That’s what I continue to do. Revel in the things that I can do with only one kid and enjoying the time that I have with just Noah. I’ll be keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers as you guys start trying for baby #2. Hugs!

  8. Jessica says:

    I have no idea what you are going through personally but I’m sorry you are going through this and I’m offering your virtual hugs and support.

  9. Branson says:

    It took us 8 years to have A, so I know these feelings well. Hang in there 🙂

  10. Nichole says:

    First, you don’t need to apologize for using the word “infertility.”
    You have a right to your own experience.
    What others struggle with should not be held up against your journey as any type of measurement. That kind of thinking makes me crazy.

    Most importantly, I am so sorry that this wasn’t your month.
    My heart breaks for you that you had to see those words…that you have to look ahead to the next month in two-week chunks.

    You’re in my thoughts, sweet friend.
    And I’m always here if you need me.

    • Courtney K. says:

      Thank you, Nichole. I appreciate your support, prayer and encouragement. It’s not an easy road to walk, but I AM thankful for the presence of kind friends and supporters that I’ve met because of this journey. Hugs!

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Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2011,, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.