Thoughts on having a Big Family

It’s no secret that the husband and I are  trying to have a second child.

It’s also no secret that five months in, we haven’t had much success.

We’ve been spending a lot of time with friends lately who have four+ kids…

And I’m starting to wonder if we could ever be a “big” family.

I see friends with their families, their four children, and wonder why not us?

Growing up I had this whole “four child” theory for my future family. By default four was the ideal number. When you have only one child, there is the only child syndrome that arises; with only two kids, you run the risk of your children not getting along and having no other sibling to turn to. With three kids, their is the illusive “middle child” syndrome (and you’re at an uneven number so pairing kiddos up to ride rides at theme parks is a headache). So, naturally, four just seems to “fit.”

*Note: This isn’t to criticize anyone for their choice of how many kids you have. This was a “theory” that I developed as a teenager without the slightest clue what went into parenting…

I love my son. More than life itself. And even in the midst of the terrible three’s and crazy tantrums, I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Granted, during those crazy fits I wonder how on Earth I could handle life with a second child…much less a third or a fourth.

And there are things to consider when it comes to adding to our family as well. Finances, the husband’s military career, my career…

Not something to take lightly or a decision to be made thoughtlessly.

I’ve often heard people say that you know, subconsciously, when you’re “done” having children. When your heart is as full as it can be and you’ve reached a point where your family feels complete.

If that’s true, then I know for a fact our family isn’t complete. And we aren’t done having children.

Maybe I’m greedy…or selfish. Or whatever else it is that people call women who want more than the society accepted “two” kids. But a house full of children…a big family…it makes my heart ache a bit.

Sometimes I feel called to take that big leap of faith and just “see what happens” when it comes to our family. After all, pregnancy isn’t guaranteed when you stop preventing it and I know, in my heart, that it’s all in God’s hands and his timing.

How did you know when you were done having kids? Did you reach the point where you just “felt” that your family was complete?