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Today’s Feature Friday Blogger is one of the most genuine people I think I’ve ever “met” (online, of course). I started reading Jessica’s Bloga long, long time ago (back when I was still a newbie and had a terrible blogger template). I fell in love with her words and her authenticity; with her bravery and her honesty when talking about things that were harder to discuss and difficult to embrace. Her blog has always been up there on my 5 Minute List (you know, if you only have 5 minutes to read a blog which ones will you read?). Make sure you guys pop over to Four Plus an Angel and say hi after you read today’s post! You won’t be disappointed!
Jessica is the stay-at-home mom to five children, four in her arms and one in her heart. She is the co-owner of Pin Savvy Social, a social media team mastering the art of marketing through Pinterest. You can also find her at Four Plus an Angel where she blogs about her journey through life after the loss of her daughter while raising a toddler, two triplets and a teenager with autism.
I had no idea that carrying triplets was the equivalent to wearing a “You can ask me any personal question that comes to your mind” sign on my stomach.
As soon as people found out there was more than one baby inside my exploding stomach I was bombarded:
Are they natural?
Did you do “fertility”?
How are you going to take care of all of them?
And then those completely inappopriate comments like:
I would shoot myself if I was pregnant with triplets.
So are you going to pass them out to whoever wants one?
Is your husband getting a second job?
And then the question that I have thought about often over the years…
Will you tell them they were conceived through IVF?
As they grow and time ticks towards the infamous Where Do Babies Come From conversation, I often think about what I will say.
Will I tell them I dreamt of being their mother from the moment their daddy proposed?
That months of hopes turned into years of disappointment as we desperately tried to grow our family?
That we buried ourselves in blood tests and medications and charts and appointments in hopes of pink or blue or both?
That even though I knew I should be in shock, I cried tears of joy in the doctor’s office parking lot after seeing three little beans on the ultrasound screen?
Will I tell them their daddy entertained my days on bedrest by tapping at each of them and attempting to balance three of pretty much anything in his arms, just to show his deft skills at triplet-care?
That I held my breath every time the doctor entered my hospital room because I feared the worst?
Will I tell them that when they entered this world I couldn’t imagine loving them anymore than that very moment and when I think back to the struggles of bringing them into this world I know, without a doubt, I would do every single moment of it all over again?
Yes, I think I will.
Where they came from has nothing to do with a petri dish or the doctors office we pass every time I head to our favorite fruit market.
It has everything to do with my dreams of motherhood and the breathtaking way they have fulfilled them.
So when the time comes and I have to explain where they came from I will tell them.
They came from love, nothing but unwavering love.
I cannot believe how insensitive people can be when you’re pregnant. It’s like we walk around with a sign on our forehead “Please, go ahead. Think of something really shitty to say. My raging hormones and feelings can handle it.”
Sigh…
Those babes were created out of love…they were meant to be in your arms…no matter how they got there.
Oh Jessica, I love reading you here and I know (with every fiber of my being) that you’ll choose the exact right words to share with them.
I think you just about covered all the important things that are in their story. When you tell a story as beautifully as Jessica you can’t help but love it.
Aww, thank you so much.
Oh Jessica, that is one gorgeous post! I know that my children will also get all the answers to their questions, will know that love, hope, medicine and miracles brought them here.
I want them to know without a doubt that I would (again and again) live those 4 years for the chance to hold them in my arms.
With tears in my eyes at that gorgeous photo…thank you for writing this.
Gorgeous writing, as always. Your babies are so lucky to have you, however they came to you <3
I think they will know that 🙂
You are a blessing to them as much as they are to you and your family. Gorgeous post.
Thank you Alison, means so much.
Jessica, you are a wonderful mother, and you are my “5 minute read.” I think I am brought to tears every time I read your blog. Tears of joy, worry, sadness, and over come with emotion as to how lucky I am, but then tears because sometimes I feel like I have taken things for granted during the daily routine. Thank you for inspiring me and grounding me with your words.
Such an honor to be someone’s 5 minute read and I feel as you do, so grateful but sometimes like I should appreciate it all even more.
Your children are so lucky to have you as their mother. They will know how much they are loved.
I hope they do, because I’m just going to keep reminding them.
Every word you write about your children, Jessica, makes it so clear how very loved they are. They will love hearing your stories.
Thank you so much Angela.