If you really knew me…

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If you really knew me…

You would know that I secretly battled [and beat] post-partum depression when my son was born.

You would know that I battled self-doubt, mild depression, and borderline alcoholism during my Freshman year of college.

If you really knew me…

You would know that a major alcohol related wreck that could have [and technically should have] claimed the life of a fellow high school graduate while we were in college woke me up and pulled me away from my alcohol abuse.

You would know that at one {heavy emphasis on the word one…never, ever has this thought crept back into my mind} very dark time in my life, I thought—for a split second—that maybe things just weren’t worth it.

If you really knew me…

You would know that I turned my husband down on more than one occasion when he asked me out in the beginning…just because I was terrified that he was going to be like everyone else.

You would know that more times than I can count in my life, I have felt that I stood alone in everything.

If you really knew me…

You would know that my obsessive compulsive desire to make everything look perfect and organized and neat, comes from my fear of never being good enough.

You would know that I battled trust issues—with everyone—for years and pushed away anyone who tried to be my friend.

If you really knew me…

You would know that I love deeper than most….

That I care about people with a passion so intense that it can be overwhelming.

If you really knew me…

You would know that when I get an idea in my head, I don’t implement that idea until I know that I can give it 150% of my effort and my energy. I don’t like to fall short and I don’t like to not give my best to something.

You would know that I am stubborn and hard-headed and don’t really like to admit that I am wrong; but God is breaking my heart from this habit and teaching me to love no matter what and in spite of all circumstances.

If you really knew me…

You would know that in person, I can come across as standoffish and arrogant…but I’m not. I’m really just guarded and shy when encountering new people.

You would know that one of my biggest fears in life, is having to battle cancer or obesity [both of which run in my family].

If you really knew me…

You would know that I have to have complete silence when I write [with the exception of occasionally playing music in the background] and that without silence, my work is pitiful.

You would know that despite my best efforts, I fail my husband, my son, and my Savior in some way every single day.

If you really knew me…

You would know that I am happy, joyful and beyond content with the life that I have been given.

You would know that my husband,my son and my closest friends make my world go around. You would know that my blog, my writing, my photography, and my design are my absolute passions and I put far more effort into them than most.

You would know that my husband is my Knight in Shining Armor…a man who saved me from myself, from unfortunate circumstances, and from a life spent doubting that anything emotionally real even existed.

And if you really knew me…

You would know that I am imperfect. I am saved by Grace through Faith alone and that all that I have going for me, and all that my family has been blessed with, can be credited to someone much bigger, much greater and much more than I ever have been or ever will be.

And you would know that allowing HIM to be in control, is perfectly fine with me.

 

To those of you who commented on last week’s Writing Prompt post, I apologize for not yet getting back to your comments! I’m in the works right now of responding the every single one that I missed! Hugs!! And thank you for your continued support!