It’s no secret around here that I absolutely hated high school. I spent most of my time wishing that I could change myself…my circumstances…my life. Looking back now at both my high school career and my life as a “tween” (isn’t that the current term for that almost a teenager phase?) I wish I could go back and tell that girl a few things; share a few older woman insights and perhaps cut back some of that grief and heartache.
All of those girls who walk around acting like they are better than you? The cheerleaders? The rich kids? The ones whose parents spoon-feed them everything they want without ever making them work for what they get? Seven years from now all but maybe one or two of them are still sitting in that same small town doing the same things. You get out. You leave. And they are still there. And guess what? Most of them are fat. And single.
You know that guy? Yeah…that one. The one that everyone in town knows is into you (and you into him?) The one you’ve had a crush on since, oh…7th grade? The one you journal about? He’s never going to man up and ask you out. Ever. A few nights in college he’s going to make his move while he’s slightly hammered intoxicated, and one time he’ll even tell you he loves you. But asking you? On a real date? Not gonna happen. But you needn’t worry. Because the man that comes along and DOES have the nerve to ask you out is so much more than that guy ever was. He’s a real man’s man…a good man…a humble man. And he’s going to sweep you off your feet.
Live it up in college, but lay off the party scene a bit, hmm? Things are going to work out for the best one way or another, but you’ve really landed yourself in a good spot. The sorority can be a powerful tool if you learn to utilize it. The roommates you have now? You’re only going to keep in touch with two of them and you’ll drift from the others. Focus on school and homework. And don’t fuss too much about having to work your way through school. Having a work ethic is a powerful thing. Utilize it. Embrace it.
Your Mom is Right. About almost everything. One day, you’re going to be a mama, too. And you’re going to realize that all of those things that you thought made your mom crazy, weren’t so far-fetched. You’re parents aren’t the bad guys. They really do have your best interest at heart. Listen to them. Heed their advice. They aren’t trying to steer you wrong. You’ve been blessed with great parents. Make sure you tell them so.
Remember that time that you thought you were pregnant, even though the test AND the doctor said you weren’t? It’s a boy. You name him Noah. And he’s the absolute light of your life and the reason for your existence. He’s going to drive you crazy sometimes. He’s going to cry…a lot…when he’s an infant. He’s going to make you question every decision you make and every move you make. But he’s worth it. He’s oh so worth it.
Remember all of those times you doubted yourself? Doubted that you mattered? Doubted that you were worth it? Doubted that anyone would ever love you or “get” you? Well…don’t. Because you shouldn’t. You do. You are. And there is.
Being a teen (or tween) is the hardest part of life, in my opinion. Never have I felt as unsure of myself as I did during that time frame. Given the chance, I’d love to go back and reassure myself that it was all going to be worth it in the end. That all of the things that I thought were the end of the world, really weren’t. That being a size FOUR didn’t make me fat (boy, what I wouldn’t give to be able to eat what I wanted and still fit comfortably into a size 4 jeans). And that pimply face boys didn’t know a thing about romance or love.
As would I. It’s funny because all of the people I’ve met blogging who had a hard time in high school, are pretty much blogging super stars. I’d much rather hang out with all of you than the popular kids. 🙂
Haha! I love when I can create verbal outbreaks from readers! 🙂 I think Number one is still my most favorite lesson to share. Just because part of me gets a secret thrill from seeing a former Queen Bee in a pitiful state.
I totally feel you on this one! I wrote something similar to this last year b/c it seems to mind boggling how much I let my fears of other people’s perceptions of me guide my decisions. Ach. Teaching senior English I would always tell my kids that life is going to be SO much better and this is not what it’s all about. Those who were living it up in high school would scoff but I could see the quiet tormented kids look at me with gratitude.
I would probably tell students the same thing if I were a teacher. It seems those “popular” kids always think that they can’t be touched and that life will always be at their feet. Part of me enjoys seeing those kids knocked off their throne and tossed into the real world. 🙂
One of the things that drives me crazy to this day is that my mom is always right and it took me about 25 years to figure that out. Ah… if we knew then what we know now. Well, we’d be different people. 🙂
LOL Absolutely. I think that making those dumb mistakes makes us who we are. I’d probably be someone totally different if I’d done what my mom suggested.
Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2011,, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.
Great post Courtney. I had a terrible time in high school and would love to go back and tell myself to do it all differently.
As would I. It’s funny because all of the people I’ve met blogging who had a hard time in high school, are pretty much blogging super stars. I’d much rather hang out with all of you than the popular kids. 🙂
I just said “YES MA’AM” out loud to number one. Well said!
Haha! I love when I can create verbal outbreaks from readers! 🙂 I think Number one is still my most favorite lesson to share. Just because part of me gets a secret thrill from seeing a former Queen Bee in a pitiful state.
I love this so much I can barely stand it. Beautiful and speaks straight at the little me too.
Thank you, Nessa!! I really appreciate that!
I totally feel you on this one! I wrote something similar to this last year b/c it seems to mind boggling how much I let my fears of other people’s perceptions of me guide my decisions. Ach. Teaching senior English I would always tell my kids that life is going to be SO much better and this is not what it’s all about. Those who were living it up in high school would scoff but I could see the quiet tormented kids look at me with gratitude.
I would probably tell students the same thing if I were a teacher. It seems those “popular” kids always think that they can’t be touched and that life will always be at their feet. Part of me enjoys seeing those kids knocked off their throne and tossed into the real world. 🙂
One of the things that drives me crazy to this day is that my mom is always right and it took me about 25 years to figure that out. Ah… if we knew then what we know now. Well, we’d be different people. 🙂
LOL Absolutely. I think that making those dumb mistakes makes us who we are. I’d probably be someone totally different if I’d done what my mom suggested.