Why I Do What I Do
I never questioned what I would do with my life when I had kids.
It was always just a given that I would become a stay-at-home-mom.
My mom was always around growing up. She went to class parties, did the PTA thing, softball games, you name it. She was always a presence in my life and in my sisters life. I knew that when I had kids of my own that I wanted to be the same way.
I wanted to be a part of everything. Bake cookies and brownies for the bake sale. Haul kids back and forth to soccer/football/whatever practice. Be at dance recitals. Sell Girl Scout Cookies. All of those things were on my little black agenda book for parenting, and I never had intention of doing it differently. My girlfriend and I used to joke in college that we were only there to get our MRS (as in Mrs. Courtney Kirkland…) degree so that we could settle down and have kids.
But, then something happened.
I actually did become a parent.
And for a while that was enough.
Until it wasn’t anymore.
I had postpartum depression pretty bad when Little Man was born. I had no energy, had no excitement, had no drive to do anything. I didn’t want to go anywhere. Didn’t want to do anything. Just wanted to sit. And truthfully, I didn’t even really want to do that because after the first six or eight weeks of a colicky baby who never slept, I really just wanted to run away.
But, then I started blogging.
And blogging led to designing and redesigning my blog to keep up with those fabulously pretty blogs that I followed.
And then blogging led to photography and my attempts to learn how to make my photos look like the ones that admired and swooned over so much.
And now here I am.
A business owner specializing in Graphic Design and Photography.
I never knew that this is where I’d end up. Or even that this is where I wanted to end up.
There came a point not too long ago when I realized that no matter how much I love my son, being a mom just isn’t enough for me.
That while I enjoy every single activity and every single play date and all of the fun things that come with being a mom, I needed something for me. I need something for me. I need a break from refilling juice cups, playing cars and trains, and listening to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
I need creativity. I need energy. I need passion for something other than my family.
And that’s what I’ve been blessed enough to find.
And that, in itself…is why I do what I do.
Why I design…
Why I photograph…
Why I parent…
Because the parenting…the motherhood…the being around and with my son spending my time loving on him and taking care of him…
Makes me want everything else.
Looking to up your photography skills? Make sure you check out the weekly series Move to Manual hosted by myself and Amy Earle. Don’t forget to enter the Camera Strap Giveaway going on right now through March 1!
|
Hmm – this is a hard one for me. Because I L-O-V-E being a Mom. In fact, as I began to grow up and watch my passions develop, I realized that being a Mom was what I was called to be. So I find doing a lot of other things extremely exhausting. I have a hard time managing everything else, but I do it because I have to. And then, those little things that I am really, deeply, secretly passionate about, don’t have room to grow, or even begin. So out of everything I do, I am passionate about Mothering. But maybe that is just because everything else I do (apart from blogging – which I am having a hard time carving time out for) isn’t what I am actually passionate about.
I think this post speaks the heart of so many SAHMs. We all want to do the best for our children but we also need to find a way to continuous grow as an individual. It’s a difficult balance but so important to have an outlet for creativity and just some basic “me” time. I think we are all a better Moms when we take time for myself.