Timing isn’t Perfect

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I realized after writing this post last week, that I was a bit on the negative side. I talked a whole lot about the con’s of having another baby, why a child wouldn’t fit into “our” plans perfectly, and so on. I talked about all of the typical reason’s someone would say that they weren’t ready for another baby, and then I talked about the few reason’s people “ooh” and “ahh” over infants in the first place.

What I didn’t do, was address the reasons why a new baby would fit into our lifestyle. And why, in reality, I think that right now is the perfect time for us to think about adding to our family.Keep in mind, again, that NO I am not pregnant right now…but the idea of being pregnant again, is making me all kinds of giddy. For reasons why, see this post. Also recognize that my husband and I agreed a long time ago that having children would be a joint decision. Not something that one of us would make alone.

The timing is never going to be perfect. But right now, seems to be about as close as it may get. Hubs and I had little man first before working on either one of our careers. He wants to be a surgical PA. And I support that ambition and goal 110%. I want to be a professional photographer, a writer and possibly a graphic designer. He supports that ambition and goal 110%. But both of our dreams are going to mean school. More Coast Guard training for him, and eventually PA School in Texas. Most likely, online classes for me (as per my decision so I can still be a full-time mommy).

PA school is a ways down the road (a few years, probably) and Coast Guard training will most likely happen next year. If we were to wait until his training was done, that would put the little guy knocking on four years old, add in the time to actually get pregnant and the nine months of pregnancy…little man would be at least five before the new baby was born. And that’s the biggest age difference I’m willing to deal with. Not for my own sake, but for the sake of the kiddo’s relationships. My sister and I were 4.5 years apart, and it wasn’t always peaches and cream. Plus, I’m not wanting to start over with an infant when I have a Kindergarten or first grader.

Little Man is getting ready to start preschool in August. Which would mean time at home by myself to prepare for a second baby, rest as needed, still work on getting my Graphic Design business up and going without interruption, and when the new baby came, time alone to bond with the baby.  Not to mention the obvious “empty nest” syndrome I will feel when I have to send him to school.

Our tour here in Kodiak is set for 3.5 years. Pending the husband going to more training while we’re stationed here, we are almost 100% guaranteed that the hubs next tour will be on a boat. Which, in military terms, equals several months away from family at a time. The separation isn’t as much of an issue (because we’ve dealt with it), as is the idea of being pregnant and him shipping out close to the end of term…and missing the childbirth. I know that there are military men and women that do that all the time. But, if I have the ability to somewhat prevent that, then I will. I would be devastated if my husband wasn’t there to witness the birth of our second child.

Our financial situation isn’t terrible. We do well for ourselves. Add in the fact that the little guy will be potty trained (even if it kills me) before he starts pre-school in August, and we really aren’t spending anymore on diapers with a newborn than we are now with Pull-ups. We already have an entire Nursery setup that isn’t being used, and lots of friends having babies in the coming months. Not to mention, this island is like a magnet for little girl attire and toys. There is girl stuff EVERYWHERE. And, if we didn’t have a girl, we still have some of Little Man’s things packed up. Plus, if you knew our families, you would know why the aspect of clothes and toys, just isn’t that big of a deal.

Lastly, we know what to expect this go around. Little man was completely unexpected. While we were excited and eager to welcome him into our lives, neither of us knew the first thing about parenting (or marriage, since we’d only been married six months when he got here). I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was almost 3 months along (YES…it DOES happen, whether you believe it or not), so I didn’t get to relish in the early stages of pregnancy. Things were so fast paced and chaotic, that I didn’t get to really “enjoy” pregnancy. (*Remind me of this post when and if we do have a second child…that I was quoted saying I wanted to be pregnant…)

Given the chance, I would love to go back and really document my pregnancy. Have (or take my own) maternity photo’s made, keep a better journal, dream the crazy dreams, crave the food. All of that was so new and unknowledgeable to me with the little guy. I don’t think I really soaked it up. The same with the baby stage. I think that part of me wished away parts of Little Man’s infancy for the sake of getting some friggin sleep moving on to the next phase and seeing what was next. I didn’t take enough pictures (not nearly like I do now), and I didn’t write enough stuff down. I want to do better this time (whenever “this time” comes around).

I’ve always wanted two children. I never want Little Man to become one of those spoiled, it’s all about me, kids because he’s the only child. Not to mention, if something were to ever happen to me and the hubs, I want him to have someone. I want him to have a brother or sister that will be there for him. I want that for him, and for our family. Boy or girl, brother or sister, my heart longs to add another child to our family.

I’ve almost got the husband on board…another day or two and he should be on the same page with me. Hehehe…

Let me add, with emphasis, that I am well-aware of the fact that the timing and the “whether or not I will have another child” is not in my hands. My God is in control and knows better than I ever will if we need another child, and when. Similarly, I do feel that while God is in control, it is our responsibility as parents or future parents to plan and prepare and analyze our lifestyle and whether or not we can accommodate a baby financially and responsibly. I don’t mean to step on anyone’s toes, and I am in full support of “to each his own…” but these are my beliefs. My husband and I want to ensure that if we have another baby, we will be able to provide for him or her to the absolute BEST of our ability and give him/her the BEST lifestyle possible. My reason for why now is and is not a perfect time for another child has nothing to do with my “lack of faith, worldly or materialistic nature.” {End of Rant}

How did you decide how many kids to have?
Did you plan your pregnancies, or were they unexpected and happy surprises?

(if you are already tired of the “I want another baby” blog posts, then please tell all of my friends—both real life and blog friends—to stop getting pregnant!)