The Power of the Past over our Future

Welcome to Part II of Project 16:9. If you aren’t sure what this project is about, you can click here for all of the details and latest information. If you missed last weeks installment, you can find it here. I encourage you to read these posts slowly, allowing the words to soak in. If you’re feeling up to it, feel free to blog about today’s lesson and link up! And if you’re new here, I would love to have you subscribe to my RSS Feed!

The past is a powerful, powerful aspect of our lives.

Our past shapes who we are, and if we let it, it molds our future.

And our past, all too often, is hard to let go of.

I’ve talked about it before, but one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to move past in my life, are the mistakes of my college days.

I’ve always battled self-esteem issues. Even when I was younger (still in Elementary School) I always felt like I was the one who was left out. I always felt like the third wheel; the one who just didn’t fit in. Things only got worse as I got older, and when I finally graduated from my cliquey high school, I was determined not to be the odd-woman out anymore. I ended up pledging the best and most prestigious sorority at our college, joined the ranks of some of the most popular girls on campus, and felt like I had really done it—I had become something…someone.

But then the date parties, and the formals, and the swaps and socials started…and I had a hard time finding a date. Fraternities hosted parties that were “invitation only” and my sisters and roommates started receiving invites, and I didn’t. So I did what I thought I needed to do to be a part of that in-crowd. I started drinking…upping my alcohol tolerance, lowering my standards. That’s what all the other girls did, and everyone loved them. So why shouldn’t I?

After two semesters of partying, drinking, bar-hopping, Spring Breaking and skipping class, I got a big fat reality check. And it came in the form of my second semester grades: one C, two D’s, an F and an FA (which means failure to attend). My GPA averaged out to something like 1.2. And I was on scholarship—full scholarship. I had crashed and burned. My parents refused to help foot the bill for my nice apartment or my sorority expenses, one of my scholarships was pulled completely, and the other had given my a semester of probation to pull my grades back up. I had to move home…had to leave behind my friends, my apartment, my sorority…and come home to live with my parents and go to community college.

It didn’t all end in tragedy. I met my would-be husband while living at home again and we got married while I was starting my second semester at community college. But the damage was done. Overcoming that kind of failure was tough. Especially the year after my husband and I got married and all of my former college classmates were graduating college and going on to start their careers. It was hard to swallow…I could have been me, but I screwed it up. Royally.

It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve been able to let that go and move forward. The realization that we all make mistakes, we all fail, we all screw up completely, finally hit me. For the longest time, that experience…that epic failure haunted me and left me feeling like I would never accomplish anything, never be anyone, never succeed at anything I ever wanted to succeed at.

Have you ever been there? Maybe not necessarily in the same circumstance, but in a place where you felt like there was a burden that was hindering you from moving forward?

If you have…if you’ve ever felt like there was no way to move forward…that you could never leave behind the damage that was done by a past situation, there is hope!

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing new things! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland…I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more…” 
–Isaiah 43:18-19, 25

Contrary to what we believe—what our minds tell us to be true, there is hope for overcoming, moving past and prospering through the unfortunate circumstances and mistakes that we’ve made in the past. It took me a long time to realize it, but God promises us hope.

“…plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE…” {Jeremiah 29:11}

The past is gone. It’s over. We can’t change it, we can’t redo it, we can’t replace it. But we can  learn from it, prosper over it, thrive THROUGH it. The question is, do we want to?

I’ve shared the story of the man by the pool before. It’s become one of my favorite passages of scripture. John 5:1-15 tells the story of the paralyzed man who spent 38 years laying beside the pool, just waiting for his miracle. He was stuck in the mentality that his situation (paralysis) was preventing him from getting well. When Jesus came to the pool, he asked him quite simply, “Do you WANT to get well?”

That’s my question to you today.

Do you want to move forward? Do you want to progress and leave behind the things that hinder, hold, and keep you impounded in negative thinking and the idea that you can’t do something?

If you answered YES to either one of those questions, then what are you waiting for?

It took me a while, took months of intentionally choosing to free myself from the past…saying (out loud) that I would succeed. Reminding myself that although I’d fallen short and failed in a huge, huge way, that my past would not determine my future. Lay these things, these burdens and pains and hindrances at the foot of the cross and leave them there.

I used to have a little box that I kept under my bed. When I made a huge mistake, did or said something that really brought me heartache, I wrote it down on a slip of paper and put it in that box. That box symbolized my willingness to give my transgressions to God. Now, I use a notebook. I write those things down as a symbol of my purposefully letting it go. There are days I look back at those things and have to let them go again (and again, and again) but God is always faithful.

Let him take your past…your pain…and embrace the plan and purpose he has for you.

Questions to answer within the comment section, your blog or in a personal journal: How has your passed molded you into who you are? Did you conquer obstacles in a positive or a negative way? In what ways can you move forward, and let go of the burdens that may be hindering you? If your past has already taken roots on your future (left you feeling like you would never be or could never be anything more than you already are), what steps can you take to pulling up those roots and moving forward?

I highly, HIGHLY recommend reading Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind for those of you who struggle with your past and the burdens that it may carry for you. Her book is more inspiring than I could ever hope to be.

You Assignment for Week Three (two part assignment this week!): Make a list of 20 things that you are thankful for. These can be big things, small things, and seemingly insignificant things. In a society where negativity is prominent and bad attitudes thrive, it’s easy to overlook the blessings in our lives and the wonderful things we’ve been given. Intentionally seek out things to be grateful for.  Start encouraging yourself verbally once a day. Stand in front of the mirror and give yourself a compliment. Write yourself a note and stick it somewhere where you can see it. For once, forget about all of the things you think are wrong with you and focus on the good qualities that we ALL possess!

Memory Verse for Weeks Two and Three:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” –Jeremiah 29:11-13