Mom vs. Dad

I’ve talked to a lot of moms in the recent months about who works harder and puts forth the most effort and works the hardest in their parenting roles: the mom or the dad.

I’m certain that if you ask any mother you meet, they will tell you (naturally) that they do. The mother will probably make sure to mention (especially the stay-at-home moms) that they are solely responsible for 99.9% of all meals, baths, and playtime activities. And if you really give them a chance to explore this question they are likely to tell you that they also pay all of the bills, handle the cleaning and cook most-if not all-of the meals.

Now turn around and ask the father in the equation who does the most work and he’s going to tell you that he does. Most likely, the father is the breadwinner (again, this applies to families in which the mother stays at home) or the sole provider financially. He’ll tell you that he gets up and goes to work every morning to make sure that mom and child(ren) are taken care of in the most important of ways. It’s his paycheck that keeps the food on the table and the electricity paid. It’s his work that brings in the income to support the habits of said children and mother as well as keeping clothes on everyone’s back. Surely it is he who provides the most and works the hardest for his family.

So where does that leave us? Does one parent really work anymore than another? Is one role more important than the other, or do they level out somewhere between being at home changing diapers and working a 9:00-5:00 to pay the bills?

My husband and I are readjusting to sharing the parental responsibilities now that he is back at home with our little family. And let me mention that the adjustment period has been fun, yet stressful, on all of us. It was a few nights ago when I was beyond my normal point of exhaustion that I became frustrated and tired of parenting. Don’t pretend that you haven’t been there at one point or another since you became a mom. Between the stress of the holidays, the anxiety of our impending cross-country move, and the newfound changes my husband and I have found within ourselves and our marriage, I was ready to lose it. The little guy was crying and whining because he wasn’t getting his way and he was way over due for a nap. My husband wasn’t really doing anything wrong, I was just annoyed…with everyone.

And for a few split seconds the thought crossed my mind that I was sick and tired of doing it all on my own. Our son needed a bath, my blog needed writing (and for some this may not seem important, but I do take my blog seriously and treat it almost as a business and not a hobby…more on that later), the bed needed new sheets, laundry was piling up…the list went on and I became angry with nearly everyone because I felt as though I was the only one doing anything. 

After I calmed down, the idea for this post sparked. Does one parent really work harder than the other? Is one role (stay-at-home OR working mom and working dad) more important than the other? I don’t think so. 

Having recently spent eight months of my life parenting a toddler on my own, I can safely say that YES my job is difficult. But, although I was doing all of the at home work, all of the disciplining, all of the teaching and nurturing and meal fixing, my husband was still the one bringing in the income. [Honestly, I don’t know how single working moms do it.] If I’d had to concern myself with getting up and going to work every single day to pay the bills, then I would have probably had a nervous breakdown. But does that really mean that mom works harder than dad?

Well, we are going to find out.

I need your opinions!! In your current situation, based solely on the parenting aspects of things who does the most work when it comes to taking care of your children? I’m conducting a little survey and I’ll be posting the results and my findings here on my blog on Tuesday, January 4, 2011. Let me know how you feel about the way things are done in your homes. Do you feel you should get most of the credit? Or do we need to cut dear ole dad some slack and give him some props as well. Leave me a comment, drop me a line {mrsckirkland@gmail.com}, however you want to contact me, but I want to hear from YOU!

Hope you all have a great Thursday!