I Yell at my Kid…Guess that makes YOU a better mom
If I’ve learned nothing else in life, it’s that you can’t let other people and what they say bother you. It’s tough, and I still struggle with it on occasion, but for the most part I’m one of those “we all have opinions” kind of people. I may not agree with you, you may not agree with me…and that’s okay. Because we all have the right to be different and think differently.
But.
When I read a blog post (or in this case, post after post after post) about the way other people parent their kids, about the way that some moms just don’t always keep it together…it drives me a little bit nuts. Granted, I did write a post about being a Judgmental Mommy and I did own up to the fact that there are some things that I frown upon when it comes to other people’s parenting skills…I would never, ever claim that I was the perfect parent or that I had all of the answers.
I mean, for the love of Pete, my kid eats Cheetos for breakfast and shoves Tic-Tacs up his nose (okay, so maybe the Tic-Tac thing only happened once…and I don’t think I ever even blogged about it…). The fact that my kid does things like this…the fact that he gets in trouble…and that I spank him when he misbehaves…and that I yell sometimes (more often than I probably should) to get his attention…doesn’t mean you’re a better parent than I am.
Just because you choose to get down on your hands and knees to talk to your screaming toddler in the middle of a tantrum (telling them in a whisper to calm down and take a deep breath), doesn’t mean I do it. Sometimes, when tantrums erupt in our house, I just throw my hands up and scream back at my kid. It startles him into calming down, and we sometimes—well, most of the time—get a good laugh out of it and go about our business. Just because we handle things differently doesn’t made ME a bad mom compared to you.
Motherhood is hard. Being a parent is hard. Spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week with a kid by your side for 98% of that time…is HARD. And no one needs to feel criticized when they are having an off day with their children.
When I go into the store and my child decides to throw a tantrum because I won’t buy him a box of Tuna Helper that has Lightning McQueen on it…I don’t need you sneaking around the aisle of the store to make sure I’m not abusing my son. I don’t need your glances and your stares because I’m ignoring his rage. You know why? Because I’m his mom. And I know that when his fits are ignored and no one pays any attention to them, he stops. He finds something else to occupy him and goes about his business.
Does that mean that I’m neglecting him? That he’s not being taken care of? That I don’t love my son just as much as you love your kid?
No. It doesn’t.
I may not have it all together; my kid may go out in public (though rarely) with a chocolate milk stain on his shirt and dirt under his finger nails or on his nose…but that doesn’t mean that he’s not being taken care of. It doesn’t mean that he is neglected or ignored or not loved.
It just means that today was probably a bad day. A long day. An exhausting day.
And I don’t need you, or your opinions and stares, to make it any worse.
-End of Rant-
Sharing this post today with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour your Heart Out.
When I see that mom in the store getting down to whisper sweetly to her screaming toddler and holding it all together, I secretly think “Wow, she’s got a pretty good act there. Bet she comes unglued the minute they get to the car.”
Stopping by from SITs to see what you’re all about. I like it. I’ll be back. Happy SITs day!
Wow…I think I could have written this. I know how you feel – I feel the same way. As long as your child is well loved, well cared for, clean, etc – nobody should butt in.
I admire moms who don’t yell at or spank their kids. I don’t regularly spank my kids or yell at them but sometimes time-outs, etc are not enough. I totally agree that spanking your kids or not doesn’t make you a better mom than the next mom!
We all have those moments! And you know what? If talking to your kid in a calm matter works for you? Great! But it won’t with my kid! My son needs to calm down before I can talk to him so when he did have a temper tantrum or nothing goes through to him. He grown out of them now but I remember the looks and comments. Sigh!
We are all good moms! We all have different ways of parenting- it’s overwhelming sometimes, we are allowed to have our moments! 😀
Ha ha! This is great! I have 3 kiddos and while the 5 yr old is in kindergarten, I have to take the 2 yr old and 7 month old to the grocery store and sometimes its just plain nightmarish!
[…] Globber by Lindsey @ Campfire Song: I had to include this post because it went along so well with Wednesday’s Post on being judged by other mommy’s. We’re all entitled to our own opinions and ways of doing things, but in the end, no ONE person […]
AMEN!
So far, I mostly get looks/comments because my daughter doesn’t wear shoes. But for the love of everything good… PLEASE KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF! sheesh!
Stopping by from PYHO!
Who cares if she doesn’t wear shoes?! LOL We live in Alaska, and if we aren’t going anywhere, my son rarely wears anything more than a t-shirt. And as we speak, he’s currently only wearing underwear and a baseball cap. Kids will be kids. 🙂 Rock on, with her barefoot self!
Ahh, Courtney, as always, WELL SAID!! Seriously, every child is different, and different things work for different kids. Don’t you dare judge the way I parent or raise my kid! That’s what I would love to scream to those people staring at me in the grocery store!
♥ Kyna
EXACTLY! People fail to realize that ALL CHILDREN are different and need to be handled different ways.
Oh I hear you! My son is two…a stubborn, wonderful, very often loud toddler and I do deal with his outbursts and yelling, I do deal with it when he doesn’t behave as he should but still, inevitably there are the glares in public, the head shaking (Not everyday of course just when he’s acting up…:) and it makes me so frustrated because I know what I’m doing is best for him and that I love him and I just try very hard not to let the rest get to me…but some days it does because really, it’s just not helpful. An encouraging smile or kind word to a mom with a naught toddler would make all the difference in the world sometimes…just hope I can remember that myself when my little guy is grown up. 🙂
I hear ya. I hope that I never forget how HARD these first few years were. I always try to offer an encouraging smile when I see a mom struggling with an infant or a toddler. Because I know from experience that she is probably exhausted and doing everything she can do to hold it together.
[…] It’s been a chaotic week (again…it’s sort of becoming a routine). My schedule is jam-packed with new potential client forms and questionnaires coming in every day. Little Man is giving me a run for my sanity with his newfound ability to throw the world’s worst tantrums at the drop of a hat. Even in the middle of the store…resulting in nosy moms seeking me out to see if I’m abusing him. […]