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If I’ve learned nothing else in life, it’s that you can’t let other people and what they say bother you. It’s tough, and I still struggle with it on occasion, but for the most part I’m one of those “we all have opinions” kind of people. I may not agree with you, you may not agree with me…and that’s okay. Because we all have the right to be different and think differently.
But.
When I read a blog post (or in this case, post after post after post) about the way other people parent their kids, about the way that some moms just don’t always keep it together…it drives me a little bit nuts. Granted, I did write a post about being a Judgmental Mommy and I did own up to the fact that there are some things that I frown upon when it comes to other people’s parenting skills…I would never, ever claim that I was the perfect parent or that I had all of the answers.
I mean, for the love of Pete, my kid eats Cheetos for breakfast and shoves Tic-Tacs up his nose (okay, so maybe the Tic-Tac thing only happened once…and I don’t think I ever even blogged about it…). The fact that my kid does things like this…the fact that he gets in trouble…and that I spank him when he misbehaves…and that I yell sometimes (more often than I probably should) to get his attention…doesn’t mean you’re a better parent than I am.
Just because you choose to get down on your hands and knees to talk to your screaming toddler in the middle of a tantrum (telling them in a whisper to calm down and take a deep breath), doesn’t mean I do it. Sometimes, when tantrums erupt in our house, I just throw my hands up and scream back at my kid. It startles him into calming down, and we sometimes—well, most of the time—get a good laugh out of it and go about our business. Just because we handle things differently doesn’t made ME a bad mom compared to you.
Motherhood is hard. Being a parent is hard. Spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week with a kid by your side for 98% of that time…is HARD. And no one needs to feel criticized when they are having an off day with their children.
When I go into the store and my child decides to throw a tantrum because I won’t buy him a box of Tuna Helper that has Lightning McQueen on it…I don’t need you sneaking around the aisle of the store to make sure I’m not abusing my son. I don’t need your glances and your stares because I’m ignoring his rage. You know why? Because I’m his mom. And I know that when his fits are ignored and no one pays any attention to them, he stops. He finds something else to occupy him and goes about his business.
Does that mean that I’m neglecting him? That he’s not being taken care of? That I don’t love my son just as much as you love your kid?
No. It doesn’t.
I may not have it all together; my kid may go out in public (though rarely) with a chocolate milk stain on his shirt and dirt under his finger nails or on his nose…but that doesn’t mean that he’s not being taken care of. It doesn’t mean that he is neglected or ignored or not loved.
It just means that today was probably a bad day. A long day. An exhausting day.
And I don’t need you, or your opinions and stares, to make it any worse.
-End of Rant-
Sharing this post today with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour your Heart Out.
I hear ya! You are not alone and never to be judged here!
Thank you, amanda!! That is so encouraging! 🙂
Yep, all of that. And I don’t believe there’s a mother out there who has never yelled at her kid. We’re human. It happens. And sometimes it helps!
You are absolutely right. Sometimes yelling is the only thing that makes the tension a little easier. Motherhood is SO HARD, who needs the criticism of everyone else?
YOU ARE A GOOD MOM!
I promise I won’t stare at your screaming son in the grocery store or point out his dirty face. Trust me. If your son’s screaming, mine likely is too. And if your boy’s face is dirty, mine is likely dirtier. I will only stare in humble adoration of you! 😉
And about dirt under the fingernails? Does that EVER come out?!
Thank you, love…as are YOU! 🙂 And no, I don’t think that dirt EVER goes away!
At the end of even my crappiest day with the kids I will always say to them “Let’s try again tomorrow, ok?” I know what all the great tips are about parenting, marriage and life in general (I’ve even written about such things!), but that doesn’t mean I keep my cool 100% of the time. You definitely can’t make a call about someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
You are absolutely right. All of the parenting advice and tips in the world don’t prepare you for the bad days. They just happen. And, like you said, you go to bed and give it another go the next day. But no matter what, no matter how bad, I never let a day go by without telling my son (or my husband, for that matter) how much I love them. Ever.
Right there with you. I yelled at my toddler today for spilling water on my computer. Wasn’t my finest moment as a parent but it happens. Doesn’t mean that I’m not a good parent. Just means that I was having a bad day.
Exactly. Doesn’t mean you don’t love your kid. Doesn’t mean you won’t ever make another mistake. It just means your human. And if it’s any consolation, I probably would have yelled about that, too. Assuming (and hoping!) your computer is okay!
I heart you for this. Parenting is so hard. Some days are just plain exhausting. People have no right butting into our business to oversee what we’re doing.
EXACTLY. I understand that there are some people who won’t ask for help when they need it, but seriously. You can usually tell when something is REALLY wrong in a situation. People are just too stinkin’ nosey.
Yes, this. Parenting is just plain HARD some days and we have no business making it harder on anyone else. Excellent rant!
Exactly. Life is hard enough as it is, and being a parent makes some days that much more difficult. It’s been so refreshing to see so many moms agreeing and understanding where I’m coming from.
Well said! I think that we all have those days. I know that I am guilty of yelling sometimes too…and I definitely don’t think that makes me a bad mom…it just makes me human!
You are exactly right. We are ALL entitled to bad days. And at the end of the day, no matter how bad the day is, that doesn’t mean I don’t still love my kid to pieces. It just means that we’ll both get up and try again tomorrow.
You hit the nail on the head, lady!
Thank you, Ana! So happy to see that so many other moms “Get” it.
If I could hug you for this I would!
Haha! Thanks Christy! I’m going to guess that means you agree? 😉