I Yell at my Kid…Guess that makes YOU a better mom
If I’ve learned nothing else in life, it’s that you can’t let other people and what they say bother you. It’s tough, and I still struggle with it on occasion, but for the most part I’m one of those “we all have opinions” kind of people. I may not agree with you, you may not agree with me…and that’s okay. Because we all have the right to be different and think differently.
But.
When I read a blog post (or in this case, post after post after post) about the way other people parent their kids, about the way that some moms just don’t always keep it together…it drives me a little bit nuts. Granted, I did write a post about being a Judgmental Mommy and I did own up to the fact that there are some things that I frown upon when it comes to other people’s parenting skills…I would never, ever claim that I was the perfect parent or that I had all of the answers.
I mean, for the love of Pete, my kid eats Cheetos for breakfast and shoves Tic-Tacs up his nose (okay, so maybe the Tic-Tac thing only happened once…and I don’t think I ever even blogged about it…). The fact that my kid does things like this…the fact that he gets in trouble…and that I spank him when he misbehaves…and that I yell sometimes (more often than I probably should) to get his attention…doesn’t mean you’re a better parent than I am.
Just because you choose to get down on your hands and knees to talk to your screaming toddler in the middle of a tantrum (telling them in a whisper to calm down and take a deep breath), doesn’t mean I do it. Sometimes, when tantrums erupt in our house, I just throw my hands up and scream back at my kid. It startles him into calming down, and we sometimes—well, most of the time—get a good laugh out of it and go about our business. Just because we handle things differently doesn’t made ME a bad mom compared to you.
Motherhood is hard. Being a parent is hard. Spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week with a kid by your side for 98% of that time…is HARD. And no one needs to feel criticized when they are having an off day with their children.
When I go into the store and my child decides to throw a tantrum because I won’t buy him a box of Tuna Helper that has Lightning McQueen on it…I don’t need you sneaking around the aisle of the store to make sure I’m not abusing my son. I don’t need your glances and your stares because I’m ignoring his rage. You know why? Because I’m his mom. And I know that when his fits are ignored and no one pays any attention to them, he stops. He finds something else to occupy him and goes about his business.
Does that mean that I’m neglecting him? That he’s not being taken care of? That I don’t love my son just as much as you love your kid?
No. It doesn’t.
I may not have it all together; my kid may go out in public (though rarely) with a chocolate milk stain on his shirt and dirt under his finger nails or on his nose…but that doesn’t mean that he’s not being taken care of. It doesn’t mean that he is neglected or ignored or not loved.
It just means that today was probably a bad day. A long day. An exhausting day.
And I don’t need you, or your opinions and stares, to make it any worse.
-End of Rant-
Sharing this post today with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour your Heart Out.
Love it!
Thanks girl!
AMEN…nuff said 🙂
Haha! Thanks!
Amen girl!
Thanks, girl!
You are 100% right. What works for one child will not work for all. I was raised in a house that yelled and my home now is the same way. of corse its not all the time but it happens. It does not make us bad parents, it make us human. Thanks for sharing.
Stopped by from PYHO.
I think you pretty much summed it up: We are all human. We all make mistakes. And every single child is different. And none of us need the criticism that comes with being a parent. Mommy guilt is bad enough without listening to everyone else’s input.
Couldn’t agree more. I recently posted about being judgmental too. Although I don’t yell when things happen accidentally, I do yell when I’ve told you twice and you’re smiling at me and doing it the third time to test me. Adn ignoring rage really does work.
Stopping by from PYHO.
Oh yeah. I don’t yell over accidents either (at least, not very often…I don’t think), but yeah. That third time when my “sweet” little three year old is just staring at me with his big blue eyes–knowing that he’s doing the EXACT opposite of what I’ve asked—I tend to lose it. I think it’s hilarious to see my son throw an all out tantrum and then just stop abruptly because he’s being ignored. Kids. 🙂
Ugh. People need to butt out and realize they are not seeing the full story.
EXACTLY. It’s so unbelievably disrespectful for someone to come poke around behind you when you’re out in public with your kid to see if you are beating them or something. Ugh.
Totally understand and agree. I have a 4 yo I’m homeschooling for preschool and a 7 yo who thinks he is entitled to be a brat. Some days I handle their meltdowns with a smile and no issues. Others all three of us melt at the same time. If others can’t understand that, then that is their issue. Not mine. I love my boys and realize that we are all going through this as best we can.
You are absolutely right. EVERYONE, no matter what age, has bad days. Some days are better for me and worse for my son…we just have to balance it out and get through it together. At the end of the day, I love him more than life itself. No amount of bad days will change that. And BLESS YOU for homeschooling! We’re thinking about doing the same with our son and I’m scared to death.
You are heard and you are validated! I wish this could be condensed and put on a T-shirt that all moms could wear on THOSE days!! Thank you!
Right?! I actually saw a baby onsie that said simply, “My Mommy Doesn’t Want your Advice.” I plan to purchase it with the next kid. 🙂
I LOVE THIS! I rant in almost these exact words to my husband. It drives me nuts, and it drives others nuts that I’m not like them! Very well said … thank you 🙂
Haha! My husband gets to hear me rant, too. I’m definitely glad to see that I’m not alone. Who wants to be like everyone else?!
I hear ya! There are definitely days like that in our house. Being a parent is tough….I do my best to put my best foot forward each day. When I have a bad day, I think to my self “Tomorrow’s a new day” and I always try to make the next day better than the one before. And I allow myself my moments.
That’s what gets me through the tough days. Usually the REALLY bad ones, are followed quickly by several really good days. We’re all entitled to crappy days. That’s just part of life.