I Don’t Want to be a “Christian”
I ran across this video on Facebook Friday night. Around 11:30. I had just posted a status update about finally clearing out my inbox…managed to answer and reply to all of my email, file what needed filing and finally delete some things that were just taking up space. I’m down to two remaining emails, y’all. I feel liberated.
I was headed to bed, but I got sidetracked looking at one of my college roommates recent wedding photos. Don’t you love how Facebook allows us to see glimpses into people’s lives when we can’t be near the people we love? Anyway…as with any social media site, I somehow started jumping around from profile to profile; reading stalking and looking at photos, when a video caught my eye. I don’t do YouTube videos too terribly often, but this one got my attention. I’ve placed it below. Take a second to watch (it’s 3:00-ish minutes…I’m sure you can spare it and it’s worth it).
Preach.
Josh and I have talked about this very thing time and time again in our lives. This is a topic that gets me fired up and ready to start shouting. If I’d been in the room when someone started talking about this, I’d have been one of those women shouting hearty “Amens” and “Praise Jesus!”
I’ve been part of places where the moment you let your weakness show…admit to your shortcomings…let on that you aren’t perfect like Christian’s are “supposed” to be…everything changes. I’ve been on the receiving end of those judgmental stares. On the other side of the room when the whispers start. Been the brunt of an indirect but oh-so-obvious Facebook status.
It hurts.
And it’s wrong.
If you don’t know my story, let me give you a quick rundown:
I drank myself to the point in college where I should have ended up dead. Not only did I drink to an extent that I was an alcoholic at not even 20 years old, waking up hungover and spending the day itching for the evening when I’d party it up again, but I was also foolish with my choices…looking to hookup with whoever I could, whenever I could. Trying to find acceptance through popularity and doing what the “popular” girls did.
How I didn’t end up dead in an alcohol related car wreck or pregnant with an illegitimate child, is by God’s grace only. And it’s only by God’s grace that I’m still here and have reached the point in my life where I am comfortable sharing my mistakes and hoping that others learn from them.
But you know what? Those mistakes? Those stupid choices?
They don’t make me any less SAVED than anyone else.
We ALL have baggage. We all need grace.
If we didn’t, then the cross? The cross is meaningless.
I’m not bashing the church or saying we don’t need the church. God gave us the church-the body of believers we are supposed to come together with to worship and fellowship-as a gift. But, it’s been the church-the building, the body of believers thumping the scripture over people’s heads-that has led people away.
It’s the church that’s left me feeling many times over like I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Because as unfortunate as it is, “christianity” isn’t the same today as it was when Jesus Christ walked this earth.
Christianity isn’t a once a week (twice if you go on Wednesday’s) thing to just check off your list.
It’s not driving the most expensive car, to the most prestigious building, wearing the top of the line name brand clothes and sitting in the front row singing louder than anyone else, interjecting the “amen” in the right spot.
It’s not knowing or memorizing the most scripture or being able to understand Hebrew.
It’s not knowing the Books of the Bible or having the most verses highlighted on those tissue paper thin pages (Bonus points if you use something like the inductive method with all kinds of different colors, all coordinated in accordance to subject matter.)
It’s not looking the other direction when a brother or sister in Christ is struggling and needs your help. It’s not passing judgement or condemning someone over a bad choice or even a series of bad choices. Last time I read the Easter story, I’m pretty sure Peter denied Christ…not once, not twice, but three times.
Jesus rode a donkey. Not a Porsche. He wore a robe and sandals. Not Chanel and Jimmy Choo’s. He carried with Him the presence of the Almighty. Not a Michael Kors bag.
Jesus associated with the least of these so that we could have the greatest of his grace.
In fact Jesus was the least of these. Dig your Bible out and read-really read– about who Jesus was. Because he wasn’t who the churches seem be depicting him to be these days.
A church is fine. Going to church is fantastic. My family and I go every week.
But, who do you see in church? Your friends? Family members? People you associate with? Families that are part of the school attached to the church? Upstanding citizens of your city?
Do you see the least of these? Do you see the barstool type people? Do you see the broken, beaten and bruised souls that are all around us? Do you see the Vets holding the signs outside your local fast food place? Do you see the homeless man you always pass by, but manage to “turn the other cheek” to?
We aren’t too good to reach them. We aren’t too good to associate with them.
When did becoming a Christian…becoming a church member…take us from being ONE of the least of these, to thinking we were the BETTER of these?
The Bible tells us in the book of 1 John that all wrongdoing is sin (src).
Not some of it.
Not just a little bit of it.
ALL of it.
There’s no good sin and bad sin.
No right sin or wrong sin.
No little sin or big sin.
It’s ALL sin.
From that little white lie to the adultery. From stealing a pencil from your office (that wasn’t yours!) to murdering half a dozen people.
It all put Christ on the cross.
It all kept Christ on the cross.
And at the end of the day, when I stand before God at those pearly gates, I know that I will answer for the mistakes that I have made (and heaven knows there’s been a lot of them). I know that I will have to give an account of all the wrong doing in my life.
But when all of my transgressions are counted and the great and mighty Lord of Lords gets ready to place his verdict? I want to be sure that I hear him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
If I have to be the “too good of these” to engage with the least of these, then how much like Jesus am I really?
Prostitutes.
Adulterers.
Tax collectors.
Lowly fishermen.
Shepherds who shot slingshots.
Blasphemers.
Thieves.
Murderers.
These don’t sound like the high society type to me.
And if associating with them makes me more like HIM…then that’s right where I want to be.
Because when Christianity becomes about being better than the ones who need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, then I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a church’s (or Christians) criticism and judgment? How did you feel? Are you under the impression that that’s what Jesus Christ is like? If it is, I’d love talk to you more about who my God is and what he is really like!
lot’s of comments and idea’s shared here, it’s all good
however my question is
why do we spend the first forty years of our life
messing up,
so that it takes the next forty trying to straighten it out
think about it
AMEN! I just posted on FB how tired I am of ‘Christians’ being better than everyone else and a friend directed me here.
My response to your blog that I came across on Facebook. Thank you for giving me courage to share my testimony.
A friend shared this and I felt a pressing need to repost. We live in a time when people don’t identify with Christians because of the judgement they may have received from them. I often hear statements such as, “if that’s what being a Christian means, then I don’t want any part of it”. Admittedly, those words have come out of my mouth various times throughout the valleys of my life. I’ve been on the receiving end of judgement more times than I care to admit. I’ve been married and divorced three times. That’s right, gasp! Three. First, because I didn’t know what day of the week I might end up with a black eye or loss of hearing from having my head slammed against the floor or hit across the face for not knowing exactly how much money might be on my paycheck at any given moment. The second, I don’t discuss because it’s not my business to tell. It’s just too personal. The third, because we both just selfishly and senselessly gave up on each other. All that love and loss brought me to a place of addiction and health problems. Seeking escape, I stayed in a state of being self-medicated one way or another for the greater part of a year. I’m blessed to still be alive. Thoughts of suicide entered my mind more frequently than I’d like to admit. More recently, I’ve been in a happy, healthy relationship that was judged by good Christian folks because of my past or his past, and unfortunately the judgement won as it took it’s toll and ended our relationship, leaving me heartbroken once again. I believe in the end, love wins and I’ll get my happily ever after even if that means me being happy without a spouse. Maybe I have a different purpose. Of course, I’ve also judged others and gossiped and ridiculed people for their decisions, so I’m certainly no victim. Now why would I share something so personal on Facebook? Because it’s a quick way to reach a lot of people, the whole point of social media. And I’m not ashamed. That’s why. I’m redeemed. I’m made new by God’s saving Grace. I believe in fighting for what I believe in and I believe Christianity has gotten a bad wrap as of late. I understand and embrace repentance for my mistakes, but I also know there is more sin to come. I’ve lied, cheated, stolen, the list goes on. Christianity is not a free pass to do whatever you want because you have a “get out of jail free card”. And repentance doesn’t equal perfection. Christianity is a place of love and comfort to know and believe that you are loved well past your bad decisions. We are flawed human beings born with a sinful nature. By the Grace of God we are ALL forgiven. We also have the capacity to love, be compassionate, and help someone in need, just like Jesus did. He died for us. Despite whether you believe in burning bushes, the story of Noah’s Ark, or a world created in a matter of days from nothing…a man died for your sins. For me, that’s a man worth following and modeling my life after the best way I can. We can show someone compassion and acceptance through understanding that despite our wrongdoings, there’s a whole lot we are doing right. Despite your race, your religion, your sexual orientation, your past or your present…you are loved. Know it, believe it, and live it. ❤️
I AM A CHRISTIAN
When I say that “I am a Christian”, I am not shouting that “I am clean living”. I’m whispering “I was lost but now I am found & forgiven”.
When I say “I am a Christian”, I don’t speak of this with pride. I am confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say “I am a Christian”, I am not trying to be strong. I am professing that I am weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say “I am a Christian”, I am not bragging on success. I am admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say “I am a Christian”, I am not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say “I am a Christian”, I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.
When I say “I am a Christian”, I am not holier that thou. I am just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace somehow!
I to an an alcoholic in recovery. I have been sober 4 years now. I love this article and relate on so many levels. I’ve been to many churches and am now a proud member of a tiny country church that doesn’t judge anyone for their sins. My pastors son is in fact a recovering drug addict. She’s an awesome example of what a Pastor SHOULD be. I’m so thankful to God for putting her in my life. I’m so thankful God has given you the strength and faith to share your story.
This is an amazing story. As a Christian, a member of the LDS church, though “loose” in those particular beliefs, I have been blessed with MANY friends who aren’t “straight.” I love my friends, never judge them, and I do believe that they deserve equal rights. While at the same time, I don’t like sex of any kind being outwardly displayed in public, I have no problem with any two people entering into marriage. I don’t believe that to be “Christian” gives us the right to throw Biblical quotes as a means to pass judgment. Christ didn’t call us to do that. He called us to love our neighbor as thyself. And that, as a Christian, is what I choose.
I can understand that when we are young and don’t seek a broader view of Christianity (I have been there) we assume, it is only the perspective of middle class urban believers who are very comfortable. Read what is going on in Syria. Consider the 9 Christians that were beheaded in Egypt. My dear friend, consider that people were rejecting Christ even as He walked on this earth. People were complacent in their sin, while others were passionate and saw the truth. Struggle has always been a part of the journey. And it has never been idyllic. Believers have always hurt one another. That’s why we need Christ. Paul, before his conversion stood by as Stephen was stoned. Peter was competitive was John, to the point that Jesus rebuked Him, saying, “What is it to you….” Keep reading. But in spite of our ficklness, God’s constancy is there. Only his steadfastness, shoring us up, telling us to go back and try once more; love once more, endure the hurt once more; don’t say, “yeah, but….”
My BFF and I were just talking about this the other day. We were raised in the same church here in our little town and I am thankful to say never in our church have I experienced in any way, shape of form judgemental treatment to anyone who came there. However there is a church here that has done that and been in the middle of everybody’s business ever since I can remember and they still do. To the point of sending scathing letters to people judging them for their “sins”. I went through a catastrophic illness a few years ago and should have died but I didn’t, I came out of it missing one leg above the knee and half the other foot. I would not have chosen this to happen to me but I wouldn’t change a thing because it brought me to God. I just thought I was a Christian before this happened to me but I wasn’t not really. I reached a very low point during my recovery after I got home and that is when I allowed Jesus to enter my heart and I will be forever grateful this happened to me because now my life makes perfect sense.
Thank you! I have been struggling with this since Sunday after church. I want to be a good Christian, but I feel like the church is telling me to do things I’m not comfortable with. Your words helped me so much.
I have a similar story, but I would love to know what made you stop on that destructive path and change? How long did it take? Thanks.