I Don’t Want to be a “Christian”
I ran across this video on Facebook Friday night. Around 11:30. I had just posted a status update about finally clearing out my inbox…managed to answer and reply to all of my email, file what needed filing and finally delete some things that were just taking up space. I’m down to two remaining emails, y’all. I feel liberated.
I was headed to bed, but I got sidetracked looking at one of my college roommates recent wedding photos. Don’t you love how Facebook allows us to see glimpses into people’s lives when we can’t be near the people we love? Anyway…as with any social media site, I somehow started jumping around from profile to profile; reading stalking and looking at photos, when a video caught my eye. I don’t do YouTube videos too terribly often, but this one got my attention. I’ve placed it below. Take a second to watch (it’s 3:00-ish minutes…I’m sure you can spare it and it’s worth it).
Preach.
Josh and I have talked about this very thing time and time again in our lives. This is a topic that gets me fired up and ready to start shouting. If I’d been in the room when someone started talking about this, I’d have been one of those women shouting hearty “Amens” and “Praise Jesus!”
I’ve been part of places where the moment you let your weakness show…admit to your shortcomings…let on that you aren’t perfect like Christian’s are “supposed” to be…everything changes. I’ve been on the receiving end of those judgmental stares. On the other side of the room when the whispers start. Been the brunt of an indirect but oh-so-obvious Facebook status.
It hurts.
And it’s wrong.
If you don’t know my story, let me give you a quick rundown:
I drank myself to the point in college where I should have ended up dead. Not only did I drink to an extent that I was an alcoholic at not even 20 years old, waking up hungover and spending the day itching for the evening when I’d party it up again, but I was also foolish with my choices…looking to hookup with whoever I could, whenever I could. Trying to find acceptance through popularity and doing what the “popular” girls did.
How I didn’t end up dead in an alcohol related car wreck or pregnant with an illegitimate child, is by God’s grace only. And it’s only by God’s grace that I’m still here and have reached the point in my life where I am comfortable sharing my mistakes and hoping that others learn from them.
But you know what? Those mistakes? Those stupid choices?
They don’t make me any less SAVED than anyone else.
We ALL have baggage. We all need grace.
If we didn’t, then the cross? The cross is meaningless.
I’m not bashing the church or saying we don’t need the church. God gave us the church-the body of believers we are supposed to come together with to worship and fellowship-as a gift. But, it’s been the church-the building, the body of believers thumping the scripture over people’s heads-that has led people away.
It’s the church that’s left me feeling many times over like I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Because as unfortunate as it is, “christianity” isn’t the same today as it was when Jesus Christ walked this earth.
Christianity isn’t a once a week (twice if you go on Wednesday’s) thing to just check off your list.
It’s not driving the most expensive car, to the most prestigious building, wearing the top of the line name brand clothes and sitting in the front row singing louder than anyone else, interjecting the “amen” in the right spot.
It’s not knowing or memorizing the most scripture or being able to understand Hebrew.
It’s not knowing the Books of the Bible or having the most verses highlighted on those tissue paper thin pages (Bonus points if you use something like the inductive method with all kinds of different colors, all coordinated in accordance to subject matter.)
It’s not looking the other direction when a brother or sister in Christ is struggling and needs your help. It’s not passing judgement or condemning someone over a bad choice or even a series of bad choices. Last time I read the Easter story, I’m pretty sure Peter denied Christ…not once, not twice, but three times.
Jesus rode a donkey. Not a Porsche. He wore a robe and sandals. Not Chanel and Jimmy Choo’s. He carried with Him the presence of the Almighty. Not a Michael Kors bag.
Jesus associated with the least of these so that we could have the greatest of his grace.
In fact Jesus was the least of these. Dig your Bible out and read-really read– about who Jesus was. Because he wasn’t who the churches seem be depicting him to be these days.
A church is fine. Going to church is fantastic. My family and I go every week.
But, who do you see in church? Your friends? Family members? People you associate with? Families that are part of the school attached to the church? Upstanding citizens of your city?
Do you see the least of these? Do you see the barstool type people? Do you see the broken, beaten and bruised souls that are all around us? Do you see the Vets holding the signs outside your local fast food place? Do you see the homeless man you always pass by, but manage to “turn the other cheek” to?
We aren’t too good to reach them. We aren’t too good to associate with them.
When did becoming a Christian…becoming a church member…take us from being ONE of the least of these, to thinking we were the BETTER of these?
The Bible tells us in the book of 1 John that all wrongdoing is sin (src).
Not some of it.
Not just a little bit of it.
ALL of it.
There’s no good sin and bad sin.
No right sin or wrong sin.
No little sin or big sin.
It’s ALL sin.
From that little white lie to the adultery. From stealing a pencil from your office (that wasn’t yours!) to murdering half a dozen people.
It all put Christ on the cross.
It all kept Christ on the cross.
And at the end of the day, when I stand before God at those pearly gates, I know that I will answer for the mistakes that I have made (and heaven knows there’s been a lot of them). I know that I will have to give an account of all the wrong doing in my life.
But when all of my transgressions are counted and the great and mighty Lord of Lords gets ready to place his verdict? I want to be sure that I hear him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
If I have to be the “too good of these” to engage with the least of these, then how much like Jesus am I really?
Prostitutes.
Adulterers.
Tax collectors.
Lowly fishermen.
Shepherds who shot slingshots.
Blasphemers.
Thieves.
Murderers.
These don’t sound like the high society type to me.
And if associating with them makes me more like HIM…then that’s right where I want to be.
Because when Christianity becomes about being better than the ones who need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, then I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a church’s (or Christians) criticism and judgment? How did you feel? Are you under the impression that that’s what Jesus Christ is like? If it is, I’d love talk to you more about who my God is and what he is really like!
I was devastated by church gossip at Calvary Chapel Fluvanna…so much so I wrote a book and started a website called WhenChristiansGossip.com. I want nothing t do with the church anymore. If someone has to TELL ME they’re a Christian, I don’t believe them. Jesus said
By their fruit you will know them.” Most Christians are barren trees…
I do inderstand what you are saying and your experience, but I feel very lucky that even the mainstream church I attend once in awhile has never treated me this way. I don’t go nearly as often as I should…in fact rarely, and that means my kids go rarely as well. But each time I do go, I am welcomed with open arms, no judgment, no “where have you been?” Etc. just what I believe is true happiness that I am there. I know the people of my church would be there if I reached out in the slightest way to help me if needed. I would feel comfortable approaching any if the pastors to talk about anything in my life, including all my sins. I totally get that the point is there are many hypocrites within the church. I just wanted to share that I have been very lucky to find a place where I feel welcomed despite my sins.
This is so great. Thank you! Just great.
Unfortunately this is all too true. This is a sad indictment against the church. Being a ‘believer’ means walking in love like Jesus. We are to be disciples, that means to walk in His discipline, or teaching. Far too many churches and christians don’t do this. No wonder people are leaving the church.
It is my quest, calling, and passion to help reverse this trend by going to churches and Christians and teaching them who they are in Christ, teaching them how to, and what it really means to, walk in love.
We are NOT qualified to judge and yet this is what many Christians do.
I am calling for ALL Christians to pray to discover the true nature of God’s love, forgiveness, and mercy so we can extend His grace, peace, and love to all.
Please repent and stop judging!
Jesus has already died for ALL sin, past, present, and future.
Grace and peace to you all as we share His love equally with all people.
Absolutely I have been ostracized at church by other Christians, some were friends. I know what it is like to be on the receiving end. And it caused me to leave for a couple of years. My ex husband was an upstanding good Christian police officer and we were married with 3 children. He really was a pretty good guy until evil entered the relationship. He met a married lady in the community he patrolled, she claimed abuse by her husband and he believed her. He started spending lots of time helping her. I supported this but when he started treating me badly, I became so angry inside that I stopped praying. And when I should have started praying more, I stopped. I was raising, pretty much on my own, 3 very active but wonderful kids so there was not much time to pray. Bad decision and I take full responsibility for that mistake. I sought the pastor’s help and because this was so unbelievable for my husband to act this way, he didn’t believe me. By now my husband had rented an apartment near his girlfriend and they came out as a couple. The whole church believed him, that I was mentally ill or on drugs or chasing after other men. Evil reigned in my life. Even my brother turned against me, but I was so angry that I turned inward and started taking care of myself. With the child support I received I started buying nice clothes and make up and getting my nails done, so I looked awesome. My church friends assumed I was seeing another man or partying. Eventually our pastor was removed by the elders because they found he had taken part in this misperception about me, as well as other incidents that occurred. My parents were very ill and died during the divorce and custody battle. After about two years, with the help of a dear Christian friend at work, my faith was restored. All that was over 15 years ago and my kids are grown now. My daughter, however, has not set foot in a church since then. All I can do is pray.
Courtney,
I saw this post as I was also scrolling through Facebook and someone had shared it. The totals really caught my eye. My story of being saved is pretty much identical to yours, and having just turned 20 I really identify with this because I always felt the outcast in the original church group I was trying to get involved with at school while I was going through all of that. But I found a new group that meets once a week that welcomes people like me, the downtrodden and in need of help and saving. I happy to say I’ve been baptized and though I still struggle a lot with the drinking sometimes I also continue to worship and help those who are like me. So I really like the video you shared and your thoughts because it can be very hard to walk into a church and have people know (or think they know) who you are and where you’ve been and not accept you for it. We all need to be more accepting and loving; we need to be the true disciples that God intended us to be once we ourselves were saved.
Thanks for the post!! It was a good thing for me to see today.
Jessica M
❤️
Every Christian can learn something from watching this video and reading your story. Words are powerful chose them wisely. Actions equally powerful for they reflect your feelings, beliefs and condition of your soul
When I was a teen, my siblings and I went to church every chance we could. Not only was it an escape from the troubles we had at home, but it gave us something to find faith in, something to help us try to understand the things that were happening in life. My mother and her boyfriend began to go as well, and for a time the abuses at home stopped. My mom wanted to become a member of the church. Unfortunately she was denied because was living in sin with her boyfriend, and wasn’t divorced from my father, who hadn’t lived with us or even been in our lives for years. That was when I stopped being a Christian.
Thank you for having a beautiful heart and putting it into words. The Christians that claim to be better are the ones who will have to really face judgement. We are to love each other just as Christ loved us. I’m not well versed in quotes of the Bible, but I know Jesus lives in my heart, the Holy Ghost flows through my body, and the love of God is on my mind all day long. I am a sinner, there isn’t a person that walks this earth that does not sin. The only man who was ever free of sin died 2000 years ago to save us all from our sins. With a love that is so great as his, I try my best everyday to be better than the person I was yesterday not better than my neighbor. I have sins of the flesh that cause my selfish needs to take hold at times, and when I see my faults I ask God for his love, forgiveness and repent of my ways and ask that he heals me this selfish desire. God loves us all not just the pretty people, if anything he loves the lost more.