I Don’t Want to be a “Christian”
I ran across this video on Facebook Friday night. Around 11:30. I had just posted a status update about finally clearing out my inbox…managed to answer and reply to all of my email, file what needed filing and finally delete some things that were just taking up space. I’m down to two remaining emails, y’all. I feel liberated.
I was headed to bed, but I got sidetracked looking at one of my college roommates recent wedding photos. Don’t you love how Facebook allows us to see glimpses into people’s lives when we can’t be near the people we love? Anyway…as with any social media site, I somehow started jumping around from profile to profile; reading stalking and looking at photos, when a video caught my eye. I don’t do YouTube videos too terribly often, but this one got my attention. I’ve placed it below. Take a second to watch (it’s 3:00-ish minutes…I’m sure you can spare it and it’s worth it).
Preach.
Josh and I have talked about this very thing time and time again in our lives. This is a topic that gets me fired up and ready to start shouting. If I’d been in the room when someone started talking about this, I’d have been one of those women shouting hearty “Amens” and “Praise Jesus!”
I’ve been part of places where the moment you let your weakness show…admit to your shortcomings…let on that you aren’t perfect like Christian’s are “supposed” to be…everything changes. I’ve been on the receiving end of those judgmental stares. On the other side of the room when the whispers start. Been the brunt of an indirect but oh-so-obvious Facebook status.
It hurts.
And it’s wrong.
If you don’t know my story, let me give you a quick rundown:
I drank myself to the point in college where I should have ended up dead. Not only did I drink to an extent that I was an alcoholic at not even 20 years old, waking up hungover and spending the day itching for the evening when I’d party it up again, but I was also foolish with my choices…looking to hookup with whoever I could, whenever I could. Trying to find acceptance through popularity and doing what the “popular” girls did.
How I didn’t end up dead in an alcohol related car wreck or pregnant with an illegitimate child, is by God’s grace only. And it’s only by God’s grace that I’m still here and have reached the point in my life where I am comfortable sharing my mistakes and hoping that others learn from them.
But you know what? Those mistakes? Those stupid choices?
They don’t make me any less SAVED than anyone else.
We ALL have baggage. We all need grace.
If we didn’t, then the cross? The cross is meaningless.
I’m not bashing the church or saying we don’t need the church. God gave us the church-the body of believers we are supposed to come together with to worship and fellowship-as a gift. But, it’s been the church-the building, the body of believers thumping the scripture over people’s heads-that has led people away.
It’s the church that’s left me feeling many times over like I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Because as unfortunate as it is, “christianity” isn’t the same today as it was when Jesus Christ walked this earth.
Christianity isn’t a once a week (twice if you go on Wednesday’s) thing to just check off your list.
It’s not driving the most expensive car, to the most prestigious building, wearing the top of the line name brand clothes and sitting in the front row singing louder than anyone else, interjecting the “amen” in the right spot.
It’s not knowing or memorizing the most scripture or being able to understand Hebrew.
It’s not knowing the Books of the Bible or having the most verses highlighted on those tissue paper thin pages (Bonus points if you use something like the inductive method with all kinds of different colors, all coordinated in accordance to subject matter.)
It’s not looking the other direction when a brother or sister in Christ is struggling and needs your help. It’s not passing judgement or condemning someone over a bad choice or even a series of bad choices. Last time I read the Easter story, I’m pretty sure Peter denied Christ…not once, not twice, but three times.
Jesus rode a donkey. Not a Porsche. He wore a robe and sandals. Not Chanel and Jimmy Choo’s. He carried with Him the presence of the Almighty. Not a Michael Kors bag.
Jesus associated with the least of these so that we could have the greatest of his grace.
In fact Jesus was the least of these. Dig your Bible out and read-really read– about who Jesus was. Because he wasn’t who the churches seem be depicting him to be these days.
A church is fine. Going to church is fantastic. My family and I go every week.
But, who do you see in church? Your friends? Family members? People you associate with? Families that are part of the school attached to the church? Upstanding citizens of your city?
Do you see the least of these? Do you see the barstool type people? Do you see the broken, beaten and bruised souls that are all around us? Do you see the Vets holding the signs outside your local fast food place? Do you see the homeless man you always pass by, but manage to “turn the other cheek” to?
We aren’t too good to reach them. We aren’t too good to associate with them.
When did becoming a Christian…becoming a church member…take us from being ONE of the least of these, to thinking we were the BETTER of these?
The Bible tells us in the book of 1 John that all wrongdoing is sin (src).
Not some of it.
Not just a little bit of it.
ALL of it.
There’s no good sin and bad sin.
No right sin or wrong sin.
No little sin or big sin.
It’s ALL sin.
From that little white lie to the adultery. From stealing a pencil from your office (that wasn’t yours!) to murdering half a dozen people.
It all put Christ on the cross.
It all kept Christ on the cross.
And at the end of the day, when I stand before God at those pearly gates, I know that I will answer for the mistakes that I have made (and heaven knows there’s been a lot of them). I know that I will have to give an account of all the wrong doing in my life.
But when all of my transgressions are counted and the great and mighty Lord of Lords gets ready to place his verdict? I want to be sure that I hear him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
If I have to be the “too good of these” to engage with the least of these, then how much like Jesus am I really?
Prostitutes.
Adulterers.
Tax collectors.
Lowly fishermen.
Shepherds who shot slingshots.
Blasphemers.
Thieves.
Murderers.
These don’t sound like the high society type to me.
And if associating with them makes me more like HIM…then that’s right where I want to be.
Because when Christianity becomes about being better than the ones who need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, then I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a church’s (or Christians) criticism and judgment? How did you feel? Are you under the impression that that’s what Jesus Christ is like? If it is, I’d love talk to you more about who my God is and what he is really like!
I had a favorite chuch as a kid thst we went to. I loved Sunday school, I participated in Bible challenges. I loved going. It all changed when I was 16 and became pregnant. My pastor wanted me to listen to a couple who had adopted their children and consider giving up my baby for adoption. I had also considered abortion. I decided neither option was for me. So when I told my pastor of my decision, I felt thst he didn’t support me or my choice to keep my child. So at 16, I stopped going to church. I still believe in God and I try to live my life to be the best I can be, but I don’t belong to a formal church. Although I have attended other churches at various times of my life since then.
I agree with what one person said that it appears this is being judgemental from the other end. What is a judgemental look? Do any of these people actually know what people in a church are thinking just because they look in their direction? It is normal for people to look at you when you have not been in their church before. I have visited other churches when out of town, and they look at me but I don’t feel I’m being judged because of it. Maybe it is just these people’s guilt at what they have been doing in life that is causing them to feel they are being judged. With that being said, there are churches that are not following the right path, so one needs to try to find a sound church that follows the Bible rather than just going to any church. Also, no one at any church is a perfect person…usually you will find good people at churches but it isn’t realistic to expect them to be perfect. If they were then there is no need for them to be saved. I feel that this video is giving people the wrong idea and promoting the idea that churchgoers are all hypocrites. Feeling judged is no excuse not to assemble for worship as God wants us to assemble with our fellow Christians and sing hymns and worship Him. We also have to believe, repent, and be baptized according to his instructions. In the end it is what pleases him, not about what other people assume about us anyway.
Yes!!!!
When I separated from my then husband, we eventually divorced. And some time later, I came out. After separating from him, I went from being part of the youth leadership and playing guitar during worship, to being asked to resign all positions. I have never gone back.
Amazing!!!
You pretty much put my thoughts into words!!!!
I love Clayton Jennings! Follow him on Facebook. He is so honest and humble.
I haven’t been to church in over a decade because of the way I was judged by the people there. I was always kind of looked at as a charity case; I knew that for a long time. I was not quite good enough to be one of them I was just slightly “other” enough not to really belong. I have struggled with mental illness for my entire life. After a series of events forced me to move back in with my dad with my toddler son, I ended up being hospitalized for serious depression, an eating disoder, and suicidal ideation. I called the pastor of the church I had been attending before the move, looking for some encouragement and some love. Instead I was told that it was my fault I was mentally ill because I had fallen away from God and I was a sinner. He never once used any words like HOPE or LOVE. Only SIN and REPENT and HELL. So I decided that day I would never go back. I have only been inside of a church a few times since then for weddings and fumerals. I see Christians mostly as judgemental people who I don’t really trust. Not all of them, I do know some who are wonderful people, but any time someone starts talking about God or church or encouraging me to pray about things I cringe and pretty much want out of the conversation. I sometimes start avoiding people who continuously talk this way. I feel like if they get to know me at all it will be all judgement all the time and I can’t deal with it. It causes me anxiety to be around people who constantly talk about God and church.
I’m so sorry this has been your experience with church. Mental illness is just that, an illness. Please don’t let your experience keep you from seeking a relationship with Jesus. He loves you, regardless of how “churchy” people may have made you feel.
I have personally experienced mental illness and it can be awfully debilitating. I hope you have the help you need to deal with it, and I hope you can find a loving community of believers.
I read your article, wish I enjoy very much. Every thing that was written was true, I feel like today, church is about the money, how to impress your neighbor. So what is your comment about paying a preacher to preach. I feel like if that person really believe in God why should that person be paid to preach. I have also notice that some people in church welcome you to church, then the same person that see you on the street will noting to say when you see them. They put on their (what I call their church face) when they are in the present of their church friends. Seen it too many times And they call them self good Christian. This is the reason why I quit going to church. Don’t make enough money to go to church. Don’t have a big fancy car to drive to church. I have a question? what is a good Christian.
Yes, I think the majority of the world agrees these days that simply just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian. There are so many other factors. How you treat others, etc. However, maybe I’m misinterpreting this portion of the article, but it seems like you’re passing judgment on someone who “drives a Porsche” instead of a donkey, or someone who wears Jimmy Choo shoes and not roped sandals. Serial killers can ride a donkey, but that still makes them a serial killer. All I’m saying is I wear Jimmy Choos, and I don’t think that makes me less of a person. But obviously, you make some very good points in your article as well! Thanks for the read.
Your thought are so true and so many need to read and pray about this I too have been hurt by judging Christians but by the GRACE OF GOD, THE BLOOD OF CHRIST, AND God’s forgiveness of my sins I and free indeed and have a room in heaven.
Dear Courtney,
I to have been the brunt of chastisement over the last couple of years. I will make this story as brief as I can, so please bear with me. We live in a very small [Christian] community where almost everyone attends church. A couple of years ago my next door neighbor had a horrific incident as she was physically the cause of death of a 4 year old beautiful girl.
I do not know exactly what transpired when the incident occurred and neither does anyone else. I felt the anguish of the parents and it ruptured my heart. You see this little girl was in a home daycare environment and she as well as the other children in the neighborhood used to regularly play around my house at various times and I came to know them and I guess love them all. Then one day the tragedy struck and everything changed.
The first thing that the community did was get on social media and demanded retribution including my neighbors death.I was appalled at many of the remarks.
Now these young neighbors of ours became close to both my wife and I but the other neighbors as well. I grew very fond of their children as well. They were brought up in good christian homes, and since I am getting older knew personally their parents and even their grandparents. Four generations of good people. I had become quite close to R’s husband and we spend many great hours out in our gardens together.
Now not knowing exactly what transpired this whole of the community wanted vengeance upon the young lady whom I will call R.My instincts made me want to write her off as well. However through the course of things I felt great sorrow for her and her family. I took her back so to speak, and stated the courts will find justice and we as christians need to hold the others as well. I was chastised by almost everyone you could imagine from the local area to social media.
I soon became hardened by the lack of Christianity and forgiveness from the churches and the community. I too did not know if I wanted to be a part of that anymore. I have since worked my way through this and have learned to except what happened. The young family has been destroyed with the wife and mother in prison as well as the parents and grandparents. The things that were said in the court room to R was the low point for me. To this day there is no forgiveness for her. I will remain to have their backs.
Sincerely
Jerry M.