I Don’t Want to be a “Christian”
I ran across this video on Facebook Friday night. Around 11:30. I had just posted a status update about finally clearing out my inbox…managed to answer and reply to all of my email, file what needed filing and finally delete some things that were just taking up space. I’m down to two remaining emails, y’all. I feel liberated.
I was headed to bed, but I got sidetracked looking at one of my college roommates recent wedding photos. Don’t you love how Facebook allows us to see glimpses into people’s lives when we can’t be near the people we love? Anyway…as with any social media site, I somehow started jumping around from profile to profile; reading stalking and looking at photos, when a video caught my eye. I don’t do YouTube videos too terribly often, but this one got my attention. I’ve placed it below. Take a second to watch (it’s 3:00-ish minutes…I’m sure you can spare it and it’s worth it).
Preach.
Josh and I have talked about this very thing time and time again in our lives. This is a topic that gets me fired up and ready to start shouting. If I’d been in the room when someone started talking about this, I’d have been one of those women shouting hearty “Amens” and “Praise Jesus!”
I’ve been part of places where the moment you let your weakness show…admit to your shortcomings…let on that you aren’t perfect like Christian’s are “supposed” to be…everything changes. I’ve been on the receiving end of those judgmental stares. On the other side of the room when the whispers start. Been the brunt of an indirect but oh-so-obvious Facebook status.
It hurts.
And it’s wrong.
If you don’t know my story, let me give you a quick rundown:
I drank myself to the point in college where I should have ended up dead. Not only did I drink to an extent that I was an alcoholic at not even 20 years old, waking up hungover and spending the day itching for the evening when I’d party it up again, but I was also foolish with my choices…looking to hookup with whoever I could, whenever I could. Trying to find acceptance through popularity and doing what the “popular” girls did.
How I didn’t end up dead in an alcohol related car wreck or pregnant with an illegitimate child, is by God’s grace only. And it’s only by God’s grace that I’m still here and have reached the point in my life where I am comfortable sharing my mistakes and hoping that others learn from them.
But you know what? Those mistakes? Those stupid choices?
They don’t make me any less SAVED than anyone else.
We ALL have baggage. We all need grace.
If we didn’t, then the cross? The cross is meaningless.
I’m not bashing the church or saying we don’t need the church. God gave us the church-the body of believers we are supposed to come together with to worship and fellowship-as a gift. But, it’s been the church-the building, the body of believers thumping the scripture over people’s heads-that has led people away.
It’s the church that’s left me feeling many times over like I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Because as unfortunate as it is, “christianity” isn’t the same today as it was when Jesus Christ walked this earth.
Christianity isn’t a once a week (twice if you go on Wednesday’s) thing to just check off your list.
It’s not driving the most expensive car, to the most prestigious building, wearing the top of the line name brand clothes and sitting in the front row singing louder than anyone else, interjecting the “amen” in the right spot.
It’s not knowing or memorizing the most scripture or being able to understand Hebrew.
It’s not knowing the Books of the Bible or having the most verses highlighted on those tissue paper thin pages (Bonus points if you use something like the inductive method with all kinds of different colors, all coordinated in accordance to subject matter.)
It’s not looking the other direction when a brother or sister in Christ is struggling and needs your help. It’s not passing judgement or condemning someone over a bad choice or even a series of bad choices. Last time I read the Easter story, I’m pretty sure Peter denied Christ…not once, not twice, but three times.
Jesus rode a donkey. Not a Porsche. He wore a robe and sandals. Not Chanel and Jimmy Choo’s. He carried with Him the presence of the Almighty. Not a Michael Kors bag.
Jesus associated with the least of these so that we could have the greatest of his grace.
In fact Jesus was the least of these. Dig your Bible out and read-really read– about who Jesus was. Because he wasn’t who the churches seem be depicting him to be these days.
A church is fine. Going to church is fantastic. My family and I go every week.
But, who do you see in church? Your friends? Family members? People you associate with? Families that are part of the school attached to the church? Upstanding citizens of your city?
Do you see the least of these? Do you see the barstool type people? Do you see the broken, beaten and bruised souls that are all around us? Do you see the Vets holding the signs outside your local fast food place? Do you see the homeless man you always pass by, but manage to “turn the other cheek” to?
We aren’t too good to reach them. We aren’t too good to associate with them.
When did becoming a Christian…becoming a church member…take us from being ONE of the least of these, to thinking we were the BETTER of these?
The Bible tells us in the book of 1 John that all wrongdoing is sin (src).
Not some of it.
Not just a little bit of it.
ALL of it.
There’s no good sin and bad sin.
No right sin or wrong sin.
No little sin or big sin.
It’s ALL sin.
From that little white lie to the adultery. From stealing a pencil from your office (that wasn’t yours!) to murdering half a dozen people.
It all put Christ on the cross.
It all kept Christ on the cross.
And at the end of the day, when I stand before God at those pearly gates, I know that I will answer for the mistakes that I have made (and heaven knows there’s been a lot of them). I know that I will have to give an account of all the wrong doing in my life.
But when all of my transgressions are counted and the great and mighty Lord of Lords gets ready to place his verdict? I want to be sure that I hear him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
If I have to be the “too good of these” to engage with the least of these, then how much like Jesus am I really?
Prostitutes.
Adulterers.
Tax collectors.
Lowly fishermen.
Shepherds who shot slingshots.
Blasphemers.
Thieves.
Murderers.
These don’t sound like the high society type to me.
And if associating with them makes me more like HIM…then that’s right where I want to be.
Because when Christianity becomes about being better than the ones who need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, then I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a church’s (or Christians) criticism and judgment? How did you feel? Are you under the impression that that’s what Jesus Christ is like? If it is, I’d love talk to you more about who my God is and what he is really like!
I am struggling and battling myself with evils and every time I feel like there’s no one who understands and I am in fear of being judged and I want to do right badly but there’s a stronghold on me. I love God and I am saved but I have fallen short.
When I was in high school my father lost his job. He was older and had a heart problem, so he wasn’t able to do certain jobs. I’m the youngest of 5 children, so all my siblings were out of the house and working, so I was the only child they still had at home, but it was still a struggle for my parents, even though my siblings helped when they could. During that period my parents were unable to put any money in the offering plate at church, and at this particular church they had you put it in an envelope with your name on it, so they could keep up with what you gave. Finally at some point a group of the elders of this church came to our house to let us know that unless we started giving something we weren’t welcome there. This was years ago, and I don’t remember their exact words and I’m sure they weren’t quite that blunt, but needless to say, my mother had to grab my arm to keep me from jumping from my chair and getting in their faces. That experience sullied my view of organized religion.
I felt like this when I was 10. My friend and I skipped Sunday school but went to church on our own and sat the row behind the Sunday School, only to be told by the Sunday School Teacher to go away – Very Christian like! Then our church going neighbours who stood on the street gossiping about others lives and judging them.
That’s when I decided I would never set foot in a Church again. I realised I didn’t need to. IF I vowed to:
Not judge but help my fellow human being.
Try to live my life being the best I can be,
Do whatever I can to avoid hurting others
Do whatever I could to help others – even complete strangers.
Live my life with empathy and compassion and avoided thinking “as long as I am alright no one else matters”
Stand up for the vulnerable in society and those less fortunate than myself
Always be thankful for what I have
Always be thankful for what nature provides
Since I was 10 I have always believed that if I lived my life by these rules than church or no church , I wouldn’t go far wrong.
Yes, I have been on the receiving end of shame at church. In 1981, my husband left me and our son and filed for divorce. He did this because I went back to school and he did not want me to work or have an education. Some of the members treated me with pity which does not feel good and others with scorn that I did not allow him to rule over me! Needless to say, I had to get out of that church and find a more loving place to worship even though I grew up there. The lead woman of the ladies bible study wrote me a scathing letter when I quit attending and I think my mother put her up to it.
I didn’t watch the video completely. I was drawn in by your title and read your testimony because o e day, nearly 10 years ago, my oldest daughter came home after a lifetime of goin to church and a year and a half at Liberty University and spoke those very words to her father and I. I still feel the pain of that day.
What he says is true..as a Christian we should all walk in love and I try to..but I too am only human and make mistakes. I have noticed though that some folks already have a preconceived notion that all christians are judgemental people and automatically have their guard up or ….funny ….but a judgemental heart towards you. I feel that I Have to watch my words very closely as they can be taken out of context by those with a preconceived notion that a Christian thinks themselves better than others.. I am a sinner every day saved only by the grace of GOD..
I didn’t grow up a Christian like most church people, and I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve only been saved a few years, I got saved in a home church that eventually fell apart because it basically turned into a cult. I was really hurt and walked away from the Lord for about a year, telling myself I had fallen for an ’emotional high’ but God did me a favor. He did some things in my life that were impossible, so as much as I wanted to say it wasn’t real I eventually had to admit it was! So I visited several different kinds of churches with the end result being that I don’t attend a church. I really appreciated the Pentecostals, although I don’t see people falling out and babbling in scripture, because the presence of the Lord seems stronger than most places, so I usually go to their yearly revivals (how do you schedule a ‘revival’ anyway? Just sayin..) Whenever I do attend a church they automatically zero in on me as a sinner that needs salvation, which I find amusing. To be fair I’m a female that happened to be gay (I’m celibate now and will be forever and I’m ok with that) and I am decidedly not feminine but my bible says to come as you are. Depending on which type of church it is depends on how aggressive they are about it and when I tell them I’m saved I usually get the ‘if your struggling with sin’ stuff. But that doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that the church looks nothing like what’s in my bible. They don’t help the poor, they are extremely judgmental, the majority of their doctrines are ‘man made doctrine’ found nowhere in scripture. I feel like I’m being ‘holier than thou’ sometimes, although God knows I’m one of the worst of His kids. It just seems so blaringly obvious to me how wrong they are and if you read your bible at ALL how could you not see that, and yet these churches have been like this for generations and I haven’t been saved but a few years, but I’m telling you it’s beyond wrong. One young single mother of three small girls got saved along with her husband and after attending the church for about a year the husband decided the Lord wanted him to turn himself in for some past mistakes, which he did and he was sentenced and had to serve a minimum of five years in prison. He still has 2.5 years to go and not one person from there has visited him or offered the mother any help even though they all know about it and know she struggles because she asks for prayer. How is it that I (the ‘sinner’ that is looked down on) am the only one that helps pay her bills, that takes the kids and gives her some time alone, that goes to her house and fixes stuff and chops firewood, where are all the Godly men and women at? I don’t say that to make myself look good, I’m grateful that God lets me do something for Him, I say it because it should be everyone helping or at least some. And it seems like every church is the same way, they fight among themselves over pews and have feuds, etc. They just aren’t the type of people I want to associate with. Am I wrong?
As an ex-church member, I feel this post something fierce. It was because of the hypocritical and hateful Christians that I initially walked away. Of course, now I have other, more mature reasons for turning my back on Christianity, but I began to hate Christians for a long time and in light of recent events, its something that I’ve been struggling with lately, as well. Thank you for reminding me that Christianity isn’t about being close-minded.
I grew up in a deeply spiritual household with a deeply spiritual family (even my uncle is a preacher) in the buckle of the Bible belt, Alabama, so when I started getting angry with the church it really frightened me because I thought that meant I was getting angry with God. But then I realized one day that I loved the idea of God and I loved the notion of being loved by this awesome creature. What I hated were the attitudes of the people claiming to speak for God.
This post is important for Christians to read, because not all Christians are rude and the heart of Christianity is not supposed to be spiteful or arrogant. Here’s my message as a nonbeliever to all who are reading this: your very purpose as a Christian is to show the love of God and use that love to get the rest of the world to know God, as well. Every time you condemn, judge, mock, or critize another human being, they accept that as God’s word. You’re God’s ambassadors. So start acting like it.
I’ve recently said these very words…”I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.” My husband was the youth minister at our church for almost 3 years. We loved it there. The elders never had a complaint about the work he did. That is until about 2 weeks ago. His phone was hacked and started sending inappropriate texts. Rather than ask what happened (he was completely innocent by the way), they fired him and threw us out of the church. Try explaining to a 6-year old and a 4-year old why we can’t go back to their favorite place. I’m angry, broken, devastated, and can’t figure out how to heal. We are attending another congregation about 20 miles away, but my heart isn’t in it. I’m trying to be normal for my children, but it’s hard. Now we are hearing stories about people in our former church who once said that they loved and supported us who are now bashing us…and we aren’t allowed to tell our story. Church is supposed to be a hospital, not a place to get raked over the coals for even perceived wrongdoing.
I want to be like god. I want to love everybody for who they are, not what they represent. But how do you just go up to a homeless man, tax collector, or prostitute? I know they are people, just like you and me. But it is intimidating. How would you do it?