I Don’t Want to be a “Christian”
I ran across this video on Facebook Friday night. Around 11:30. I had just posted a status update about finally clearing out my inbox…managed to answer and reply to all of my email, file what needed filing and finally delete some things that were just taking up space. I’m down to two remaining emails, y’all. I feel liberated.
I was headed to bed, but I got sidetracked looking at one of my college roommates recent wedding photos. Don’t you love how Facebook allows us to see glimpses into people’s lives when we can’t be near the people we love? Anyway…as with any social media site, I somehow started jumping around from profile to profile; reading stalking and looking at photos, when a video caught my eye. I don’t do YouTube videos too terribly often, but this one got my attention. I’ve placed it below. Take a second to watch (it’s 3:00-ish minutes…I’m sure you can spare it and it’s worth it).
Preach.
Josh and I have talked about this very thing time and time again in our lives. This is a topic that gets me fired up and ready to start shouting. If I’d been in the room when someone started talking about this, I’d have been one of those women shouting hearty “Amens” and “Praise Jesus!”
I’ve been part of places where the moment you let your weakness show…admit to your shortcomings…let on that you aren’t perfect like Christian’s are “supposed” to be…everything changes. I’ve been on the receiving end of those judgmental stares. On the other side of the room when the whispers start. Been the brunt of an indirect but oh-so-obvious Facebook status.
It hurts.
And it’s wrong.
If you don’t know my story, let me give you a quick rundown:
I drank myself to the point in college where I should have ended up dead. Not only did I drink to an extent that I was an alcoholic at not even 20 years old, waking up hungover and spending the day itching for the evening when I’d party it up again, but I was also foolish with my choices…looking to hookup with whoever I could, whenever I could. Trying to find acceptance through popularity and doing what the “popular” girls did.
How I didn’t end up dead in an alcohol related car wreck or pregnant with an illegitimate child, is by God’s grace only. And it’s only by God’s grace that I’m still here and have reached the point in my life where I am comfortable sharing my mistakes and hoping that others learn from them.
But you know what? Those mistakes? Those stupid choices?
They don’t make me any less SAVED than anyone else.
We ALL have baggage. We all need grace.
If we didn’t, then the cross? The cross is meaningless.
I’m not bashing the church or saying we don’t need the church. God gave us the church-the body of believers we are supposed to come together with to worship and fellowship-as a gift. But, it’s been the church-the building, the body of believers thumping the scripture over people’s heads-that has led people away.
It’s the church that’s left me feeling many times over like I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Because as unfortunate as it is, “christianity” isn’t the same today as it was when Jesus Christ walked this earth.
Christianity isn’t a once a week (twice if you go on Wednesday’s) thing to just check off your list.
It’s not driving the most expensive car, to the most prestigious building, wearing the top of the line name brand clothes and sitting in the front row singing louder than anyone else, interjecting the “amen” in the right spot.
It’s not knowing or memorizing the most scripture or being able to understand Hebrew.
It’s not knowing the Books of the Bible or having the most verses highlighted on those tissue paper thin pages (Bonus points if you use something like the inductive method with all kinds of different colors, all coordinated in accordance to subject matter.)
It’s not looking the other direction when a brother or sister in Christ is struggling and needs your help. It’s not passing judgement or condemning someone over a bad choice or even a series of bad choices. Last time I read the Easter story, I’m pretty sure Peter denied Christ…not once, not twice, but three times.
Jesus rode a donkey. Not a Porsche. He wore a robe and sandals. Not Chanel and Jimmy Choo’s. He carried with Him the presence of the Almighty. Not a Michael Kors bag.
Jesus associated with the least of these so that we could have the greatest of his grace.
In fact Jesus was the least of these. Dig your Bible out and read-really read– about who Jesus was. Because he wasn’t who the churches seem be depicting him to be these days.
A church is fine. Going to church is fantastic. My family and I go every week.
But, who do you see in church? Your friends? Family members? People you associate with? Families that are part of the school attached to the church? Upstanding citizens of your city?
Do you see the least of these? Do you see the barstool type people? Do you see the broken, beaten and bruised souls that are all around us? Do you see the Vets holding the signs outside your local fast food place? Do you see the homeless man you always pass by, but manage to “turn the other cheek” to?
We aren’t too good to reach them. We aren’t too good to associate with them.
When did becoming a Christian…becoming a church member…take us from being ONE of the least of these, to thinking we were the BETTER of these?
The Bible tells us in the book of 1 John that all wrongdoing is sin (src).
Not some of it.
Not just a little bit of it.
ALL of it.
There’s no good sin and bad sin.
No right sin or wrong sin.
No little sin or big sin.
It’s ALL sin.
From that little white lie to the adultery. From stealing a pencil from your office (that wasn’t yours!) to murdering half a dozen people.
It all put Christ on the cross.
It all kept Christ on the cross.
And at the end of the day, when I stand before God at those pearly gates, I know that I will answer for the mistakes that I have made (and heaven knows there’s been a lot of them). I know that I will have to give an account of all the wrong doing in my life.
But when all of my transgressions are counted and the great and mighty Lord of Lords gets ready to place his verdict? I want to be sure that I hear him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
If I have to be the “too good of these” to engage with the least of these, then how much like Jesus am I really?
Prostitutes.
Adulterers.
Tax collectors.
Lowly fishermen.
Shepherds who shot slingshots.
Blasphemers.
Thieves.
Murderers.
These don’t sound like the high society type to me.
And if associating with them makes me more like HIM…then that’s right where I want to be.
Because when Christianity becomes about being better than the ones who need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, then I don’t want to be a Christian anymore.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a church’s (or Christians) criticism and judgment? How did you feel? Are you under the impression that that’s what Jesus Christ is like? If it is, I’d love talk to you more about who my God is and what he is really like!
Thank you for writing this. I try not to worry about those things I can not control. I have to pray to my savior to remind me how lowly a worm I am and that I do not deserve his grace and mercy in my life. Jesus paid it all…. All to him I give… His blood has left a crimson stain that washes white as snow. I know our days are counted and I pray that I can stand for Jesus when the time comes. God Bless
When I was growing up, my family was somewhat closer to an aunt and uncle on my dad’s side. There family was catholic, very religious, very easy with the I am better than you attitude. I never realized that much at the time we were all hanging out a lot, I was only 5 or 6 and this was family. One day, my aunt approached me outside. She made sure that I was alone and out of ear shot from my parents. She cornered me and asked me if I had been baptized yet. When I told her no, she told me I was going straight to hell. I cried. Now, that I am 34 years old, she may have changed churches, but she still carries the attitude that she is better. She passed that attitude on to her kids as well. There is no love in their hearts, only judgement and disdain. Me… that simple action poisoned how I feel about religion. I am finally at a place in my life were I do believe there is something out there. I just will not label it. I am content with that. I also try to live by showing others love and kindness… something I was not given by someone who was not just christian…. but family as well….
Well written, and I get what you are saying…. But can I offer another viewpoint? Mine is titled “I Want To Be A Christian”…This is written from a viewpoint that people do not have more power than God, and I know that really we all do know that. Maybe sometimes we lose sight of that fact. I learned a long time ago that my faith is about my relationship with Him, not any person here on earth. I’m not saying fellowship and interaction with other people is not vital….it absolutely is. I am so glad to be here on this blog post with other Christians! However, what others say or do to me, whether Christian or not…. leads me to no place any further away from God (in fact, He usually uses the situation to draw me closer to Him). I try to stay tucked tightly in His arms where He holds me up, guides me, lovingly teaches me, strengthens me, shields me, and comforts me. My self worth and esteem? They come from the acceptance He gives me as a sinner that has received His Grace. If those words don’t hold some truth for you and you find yourself removing yourself from fellowship with other Christians, pray about it, please. Perhaps you are giving these folks too much power when you really don’t want to give them any at all over your faith walk. After all, isn’t that why you want to sever ties to them? I get it, self preservation kicks in. I pray that you don’t do this to the point of hurting our Lord’s heart by removing yourself from the presence of other believers when He wants you there. The enemy uses the spirit of offense (either feeling offended or offending others) to gain just about every toehold that leads to our spiritual harm. Let’s face it, that all comes down to human relationships/influence. (A dog, a tree, a chair, can not offend me on any harmful level, but people? Ouch). One more thing of the utmost importance….maybe, just maybe, you were placed in their lives to be the model of a spiritually fruitful Christian. You may be that one somebody that they look at and feel a quickening in their spirit. Maybe they feel that here is a person that they need to build a relationship with to uncover something they recognize on a subconscious level as missing in their lives. He believes in you, now you need to as well. My suggestion? Pray for Him to reveal to you when offense is a contributing factor to unrest that you are feeling… so often it is very eye-opening. Then if He tells you to leave and shake the dust from your feet, follow His lead immediately on both departing and on where to go next. His plan is perfect. Me? I will not say I don’t want to be a Christian, not in thought, word, or deed. I simply can not comprehend those words having a place in my mind, heart, or spirit. God loves you and so do I!
VERY well said!!
Courtney,
I would like to suggest a book to you. It’s Gene Edward’s “Letters to a Devastated Christian”. Many folks have been hurt by well-meaning Christians.
Your post is particularly timely in light of what has happened in recent days with the rulings from the Supreme Court. Taken to its extreme, the government will soon be able to tell churches what they can or can’t say. I said 35 years ago that the organized churches in America sold their birthright and had their voices silenced in exchanged for a tax exempt status.
I suspect that if the government starts bolting the doors of churches, the Christians that choose to attend an organized church will be forced to go underground–not unlike they Church was forced to do during the first century–which was a most prolific time in the spreading of the Gospel. The Gospel was spread almost all over the known world without the benefit of organized churches (with their buildings and identifiable structure), no pastoral concept as we view it today and no Bibles–only the Word of God that spread from the lips of Jesus to the ears of His disciples and from their lips to these new “born again ones”.
May God Bless you
Thank u I feel the same way I so. Even though I’m a christian we all do I try to treat everybody the way i want to b treated i dont judge i believe God created us all in His image im not rich i never want to b rich in earthly ways i am rich in the eyes of Jesus i dont have a fancy car or live in a fine home but im proud of what i have i dont see the color of skin i love everybody my son in law was killed one year ago the eighteemth of this month by someone who was using a cell phone n didnt c him my love was challemged then as i saw my child and grandchildrens pain But I now understand she too is in pain n must live with the wreck the rest of her life I haveforgiven her n my heart goes out to her it hit home what u said n i thank u for sharing it i hope that everyone will get as much out of it as i did thank
Courtney, I understand that you meant good by this post and can tell your sincerity in it, but I’m not sure if this helped or allowed the thought to enter into someone who doesn’t follow Christ that following Christ is something they don’t want to be apart of. I have been apart of a Christian family and a Christ follower for years and I have been apart of a church group that is what you described above, the thing is that what they were lacking was CHRIST, if you are truly apart of Christ you go out and find the hopeless and needy and you help and give what you can. The true believers I know are the most loving and non judging people I know. I think that this post is more related to religion then being a Christ follower, there is a big diffrence. Leave religion and follow Christ and this problem is gone.
I was raised Christian in church all my life. I was one of those twice a week Christians. At the age of 20, after spending a year away at college, I started discovering who I was as an individual, not being defined by my church or by the friends I surrounded myself by. I got very lonely and depressed and found myself trying to understand why I felt so different than everyone. I read the bible trying to find meaning behind my thoughts and even contemplated suicide. I met loads of people through my college fellowship that I eventually signed up for, and I got into a prestigious film school that really opened my eyes to what non-Christians, or people with different beliefs saw from their perspectives. I was raised in a bubble. My creative side was not where it needed to be because I had done nothing but try to live a life as the perfect Christian. I have news, they don’t exist. At 21, I came out as gay. Many of my friends didn’t take it so well, and being only 2 years after my parents got a divorce, the church was no longer there to support me or care about me at all. Now, nearly 6 years later, I have found myself being an advocate for gay Christians. I try my best to explain things from my perspective now that I’m no longer in that sheltered bubble. All my life I was brought up with the understanding that I would marry a man and have children, probably by the time I was 26. Today, I am in love with the most incredible woman who has similar beliefs. We have a great group of friends who love us unconditionally. I am in love with life and I challenge everyone to look outside the church doors and simply listen to your heart and watch what God is doing around you. Support and lift other up. That is what jesus did, and that is what he died for.
You’re so right when I read your thoughts on Christian life. And true in many ways. I too have seen the changes on Christian life and offenders towards us the true believers. Sad knowing how many will stop believing there’s a real God. While others profit from God’s name just as it’s written. At the end Every knee wall bow.
I agree in some ways , but the one part I would like to talk about is that we ourselves shouldn’t group people, but as individuals.. I also see that sometimes but I don’t leave the church, because people are people and I just continue on loving people like that and let God convict them..no one is perfect we all make mistakes daily, but I strive not to commit those things again, that’s how we grow,, the bible says love the sinner , hate the sin…it’s not. Right to look down on anybody..our blood is the same…I have done many wrong things in my life , I am not one to judge, Jesus is..