Headfirst

It’s been a week since we received the news that we are moving to Kodiak.

I’m going to be quite honest…it’s taking some time to settle in. We aren’t talking a move to somewhere relatively close by. We are talking a major life changing move. A move that so few others have the courage or the opportunity to make. And we diving in head first. When we made our first PCS* back in 2008, we only went a little over 400 miles from our home. We were within driving distance of our families and everyone was able to make the trip when Little Man was born.

*permanent change of duty station to those who aren’t familiar with military jargon

But this…this is much different. With talks of adding to our family up in the air, the realization that visiting friends and family here in the “lower 48” is not going to be so simple, is beginning to sink in. Our parents, friends…everything we have known is right here in the little comfort zone we have built for ourselves. We are stepping out blindly. The only thing keeping me moving? The knowledge that God is in control of our future. He is paving our journey. We had our assumptions about where we would be when school was over [Connecticut, New Jersey, or maybe Virginia], but we didn’t anticipate this.

However, despite the shock and the surprise that has washed over me in the past several days, I am abundantly excited for the journey. The night Hubby told me that our destination was chosen, I admit that I spent several hours that night rolling the idea around in my head over and over and over again. And without me even asking him, God granted me a sense of peace that I have only felt a few times in my life. He assured me that we were going to be okay and that this path, is the path he has chosen for us. I’m not sure what’s in store, but I know that the journey begins soon. I feel like he is teaching me and showing me that there are some pretty BIG things in our future; what those things are, I don’t know.

I’m standing on the edge right now, just waiting to jump. Doing my research on everything we need to make the trip; preparing myself emotionally for the impending goodbyes that will come sooner than we want; and getting all of our ducks in a row. The only thing scarier to me than not jumping in head first, is turning away and not jumping at all. Ignoring God’s plan, choosing our own path and making our own choices. Selfishness and stubbornness have led us down those roads before and I speak from experience when I say that ignoring God’s plan…is not a good idea.

Life is changing. And all I know to do is sit back and change with it.

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Truth #2: What is something that you love about yourself?

I don’t want to sound arrogant or sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but I am a really good wife and a really good mom. I love how much I adore my husband and my son. I love that I a somehow able to forget entirely about myself and take care of them. And I love that I don’t mind doing it. I have a passion for being a wife and mother that goes unmatched. From the time I was a little girl, the only things I have ever wanted to do was to be a wife, a mommy, and a writer. And through the help of this blog, I am currently able to do all three.

I love that most always, I am able to see the good in situations. I am able to walk into the unknown with a smile on my face and embrace what is ahead. While I get nervous and jittery, I am usually pretty collected and maintain my composure in circumstances that may not be so easy to handle. I am calm and thrive under pressure. During my school days, I always intentionally waited until the last minute to study for tests or write papers because I did better by waiting.

I love that I am organized and obsessive compulsive anal about how things are done. Not with everything, but with a lot of stuff. Color-coding, neatness and tidiness are important to me and I almost always know where everything is. I make my own systems [sometimes I’m the only one that understands them, of course] and I’m particular about how things are done.

I love my hair. I love the color of my hair, the texture of it, and how easily it {usually} styles. I love my skin, too. I’ve never had a big major problem with Acne. And the only time I break out [and by “breakout” I mean a few small bumps] is when I’m stressed…which seems to be often these days. I love my eyes…sometimes they are a really deep emerald green and others they are a deep chocolate brown; and sometimes they are a bit of both. They change color with my mood and my clothing.  And like truth number 1, I love that I am able to come up with so many things that I love.