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Growing up in a small town meant learning early on that there were two kinds of people in our little city: those who were in and those who were out. Contrary to what people try to make you believe, social stigma’s are a reality. Especially in towns and cities as small as the one I grew up in. What school you went to, what church you went to, where you associated and socialized on Friday nights…all of that put you in a crowd. You were either in or out.
It was as simple as that.
And, I’m assuming, it still is.
I made it my goal at an early age to get out of that town and make my own rules in life. Be my own boss and make my own decisions as to what I could and could not do. Not to let me life be run and dictated by social propaganda. But, when college didn’t work out for me, I was sure that I was destined to live the same life that I had always feared and avoided.
When I met my husband, I was working on Plan B to get out town and make something more of myself.
Mediocrity has always scared me. The fear that one day I would look back on my life and wonder why I didn’t just go for it. Why I was afraid to do something bigger and better than anything anyone else could imagine.
The small town lifestyle is stifling and suffocating when it comes to those kinds of dreams.
Remember Sweet Home Alabama? Remember the urgency in which Melanie felt the need to get out; to do more and be more?
That’s what I struggled with. Those are the same emotions that I battled day in and day out.
Then I married to a military man. And we had a son; the most perfect gift and most beautiful blessing that anyone had ever been given. And my desire to succeed and accomplish “big” things in this world shifted a bit.
Here I was with this brand new little miracle to take care of; a blessing sent straight from heaven, no doubt. And suddenly the desire to get out of my small town seemed insignificant and unimportant. Because, I had something more important to worry about. Someone more important.
Over the last few years, I’ve found that same desire to be someone and accomplish something big coming back. But, not for the same reasons as before. We live a military life; and the chances of us ending up settled in the same small town I grew up in, are slim to none. We get to travel and see the world; move from place to place every few years.
But, I realize now that what fuels me and drives me to succeed and accomplish and do, is my family. My husband and my son. The desire to make them proud. What fuels me is watching my son watch me chase after the things I want in life; be that a career or just being the best wife and mother I can be.
Success, I’ve learned, doesn’t come from the approval of society and those around us.
It comes when we acknowledge that we are doing something we love and can find contentment in that.
My husband. My son. My family.
They are my success.
They are my drive and my fuel.
And that is all of the encouragement that I need.
I loved this Courtney. Beautiful.
Thank you, Sarah! Love your new profile photo!
This is such a beautiful realization. I’m glad you found your fuel in your family-a place where you will always be “in”. Well, at least until your son is a teenager. Then you might have a couple of years of “out” 😉
Thanks for linking this beautiful post up with JBE.
LOL I’m already preparing for those few years of being “out” when my kiddo hits his teenage years. But, so long as he knows he’s loved, one day he’ll understand that every choice I made for him was with his best interest at heart 🙂
Excellent fuel for your life. I think you are doing great at making your family proud.
Thank you, Jessica!! 🙂
I come from a small town like this too..and I am still trying (in my mind only) to remove myself from that mentality. 🙂
I am so glad you found your way out in becoming a family, your son, your husband. This is such an important lesson. I loved the way you make it so simple and so clear. 🙂
Thank you, Kir. I think being so far away (5600 miles to be exact) from my hometown gave me room to escape it and find a way outside of their sense of normalcy. You have so much to be proud of yourself. 🙂
yes. exactly.
Thank you, Stephanie! Glad you could relate!
Incredible words of wisdom. It’s funny because both my husband and I are from small towns and we felt that same desire to get out and be someone. He was the popular kid – I was not….I never wanted to feel like I had to fit in though so I just left for a bigger area where I could find my own.
I agree. I found my crowd in college and found that some of the same people who didn’t want to associate with me while we were in the small town threshold, had no trouble associating with me outside of it. Weird how that works, huh?
My husband and children are definitely my greatest successes in life. Amazing how your definition of success shifts once you gain some life experience.
Absolutely. Carrying a child for 9 months and then surviving those first few months of sleepless nights and zombie-hood is a success all in its own. And you DEFINITELY have two kids that are worth being proud of! 🙂
Children give us gifts we never would have expected 🙂
They really, really do! There is so much more to parenting than anyone could possibly explain.
Yes, this. Exactly this.
Thank you, Galit! I’m glad you could resonate!
That is so beautiful! What an amazing heart and spirit you have! It’s so true! My family fuels me, everyday it is all i need! I also understand being scared of Mediocrity – you have been such an inspiration to me to go out there and make something of myself. Thank you!
Aww, thank you, Miranda! I’m so happy I could offer a bit of encouragement! 🙂