“Happily Ever”…After

I have really been struggling with some personal issues lately. And I don’t mind putting them out there on the computer for people to read about because, one day, they will all be in a book anyways (Yes, I have intentions of writing a book…and will.) Alot of the things going on, probably have a lot to do with the fact that I am pregnant (38 weeks if you want to get specific) and for those of you who have been there, you know that your hormones go haywire. Up and Down-over and over and over again…it’s like being on a roller coaster that you can’t get off of. Most of my issues have revolved around the ideaology of marriage. I know a few people who are newlyweds and are still in that blissful state of perfection with their new spouse. I know a few people who are engaged and about to enter that same blissful state. I was the same way. I floated around on cloud 9 with my new husband…everything was perfect, we were in love (and still are, don’t jump to that conclusion), we were going to move away and live “happily ever after.” Isn’t that the cliche they use in all of the fairy tales? Happily ever after? What they don’t tell you in stories like “Cinderella”, “Snow White”, and “Sleeping Beauty” is that “happily ever after” lasts for a few months…then it’s just “after.”

The “Happily Ever” is that first couple of months that we know as the honeymoon period. Things are new and fresh. For most people it’s the first time that they are living together, moving into their own little houses, and getting used to falling asleep beside that person that you are supposed to be with for the rest of your life. Things are perfect and you think they will stay that way forever. Then, somewhere down the road-I’m not exactly sure where-that “happily” part, just becomes the “after.” It’s like you wake up one morning and everything is different. You roll over in the bed, and prince charming is just some stinky guy that fell asleep in your bed without a shower the night before and woke up with some serious morning breath. Or that beautiful princess that said prince “rescued” from a life of hardship…looks like she got hit by a train sometime during the middle of the night.

Hate to break it to all you romantic “newlyweds” out there, but all of that just doesn’t last. I was sitting at home yesterday, as I said before, reading old journal entries and stuff that I had written. Most of what I had written in one particular journal was about the time right before Josh and I got married, the time right after (when I found out I was pregnant) and the loong period where he was gone to Jersey right after we found out we were having a baby. I sat there for about an hour reading and reflecting before I pulled out my current journal. This one is full of the ups and downs and complaints of everyday life. How quickly things go from the perfect fairy tale dream, to just ordinary, everyday life. Bills, Groceries, Work, Laundry…all of those not so glamorous things that we tend to overlook when we think about marriage-all of those things they fail to advertise and neglect to show on TV and in Movies.

But as I sat there and compared the 2 sets of journals, it occured to me: No matter how stressful things get during the day to day routine, I still have Josh. I still have my husband. You want to learn to appreciate someone and really become thankful for what you have? Send them away for a month or so…you will definately wish they were back with you-morning breath and all 🙂 That month that Josh spent in New Jersey was probably one of the most depressing and loneliest times in my life. I couldn’t talk to him but a few minutes a day, if then, and I couldn’t see him (duh). It was hard…it was miserable. Looking back at that I realize how lucky that I am and how much he means to me. I have such a respect for military wives who’s husbands spend months and months at a time overseas in harms way. Josh was at a military base-safe and sound-for only 30 something days. These women who’s husbands are in the Marines, Navy, and Army are over there battling car bombs, terrorists, etc. Who am I to complain? Josh is home every single night (usually by 4:00 in the afternoon), never has to go overseas and fight, and the only danger I worry about him getting into is when he has to drive several hours away to put the CG boat in the water.

We laid down to get ready for bed last night and-my hormones being the way that they are-I couldn’t help but get a little teary eyed, just because I was so thankful and grateful for having him around. We layed there watching the Rays/Red Sox Game, laughing and joking and I realized that no matter how stressed out we get, or how bad things become, as long as he’s right there beside me, I know that I/we can get through anything. We may not spend the rest of our lives in “marital bliss” with candles and romance 24/7…but it’s the other things, the simple things, that make marriage worth it. Fixing dinner together at night, being able to relax around our own house watching TV and goofing off, buying groceries together (trust me, that’s always a laughing experience with the two of us), and in the next week or so, raising our son together. Those are the things that mean the most…the things that, whether you realize it now or appreciate it now, matter the most and will be remembered the longest. “Happily Ever” may fade away…but if this is the kind of “after” that I am left with, I would rather have that anyday.