Feature Friday | What Makes a Bad Mom?
I aplogize for the delay in this week’s Feature Friday post. This is the second time I’ve had a post scheduled and it hasn’t gone live. What gives?
I am so, so excited about this weeks Feature Friday Blogger! Many of you probably know Jessica from My Time As Mom. She’s absolutely hilarious, writes helpful and insightful posts on everything from motherhood to social media, and is the brain behind the popular Vlog Talk meme. She’s always writing something good and her blog is at the top of my If I only have 5 minutes, this is one of the blogs I have to read list!
Jessica Torres is the wanna-be entertaining writer of the blog My Time As Mom. She is the official caretaker of 1 husband, 2 adorably insane girls, and 2 dumb dogs which causes her to be operating under the influence of sleep deprivation on most days. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook. and also check out her project VlogTalk (@VlogTalkMeme) where she encourages bloggers to step in front of the camera every week.
Perspective changes the definition of a bad mom
Frequently I hear someone saying they are a “bad mom.”
I’ve even thought the same about myself on occasion.
But what exactly is a bad mom?
Is it the mom that…
…lets her kids watch TV for an hour because she needs a break from them?
…sleeps in instead of getting up early to make breakfast and lunch for her kids?
…lets her kids drop out of a dance class she paid money for because they said “it’s too hard.”
…that drinks a few glasses (maybe a whole bottle) of wine at night when it’s just her and the kids at home?
…that abuses her children physically?
…that leaves her children forever because she doesn’t want to be a mom anymore?
These are just a few scenarios of what could define a bad mom, obviously a few are more extreme than others but they are all actions a mom can take.
The first two on this list, I have done myself.
Many times.
Does that make me a bad mom?
Sometimes I think so. Sometimes I think I should be more involved with my children, not need time for myself, always be available when they need me.
But when I look at the last two, physical abuse or leaving my children, I know that I have never and will never do these to my children.
Perspective.
I love my kids and I do my best to make sure they have what they need. They are loved, they are safe, and they are protected.
Sometimes, I need a break. Time for myself to recharge.
This does not make me a bad mom. Instead, I think it makes me a balanced mom.
What a great post, Jessica! I struggle with this myself. It’s really hard to find a balance.
Being a balanced mom is so important–good luck to all of us!
Yes, good luck to all of us.
I love the way you presented the scenarios on a spectrum like that; it definitely helps put things in perspective!
You’re a great mom, sweetie! We all are just doing our best for our kids – that’s what makes a good mom.
If you’re a bad mom then I’m one too. I’ve done the first one on your list for sure.
I believe it’s all about finding a balance… quality time spent with your child can go a long way and “me time” is essential.
Quality time with the kids plus some alone time for mom really helps get that balance.
Well said. Personally, I think too many of us don’t take enough time for ourselves. Also, if you don’t think you are bad mom from time to time then you aren’t doing right it right. :c)
Perfectly said! For me, there are definitely things I could work on as a mom, but all moms need to take a little time for themselves. Balance is good!
Great post, Jessica.
It’s about finding balance.
I really feel that in a family, no person’s needs take precedence over another’s.
To be a good mom, you need to take time for yourself too.
I agree Nichole. Balance is hard to find but it is important, especially in finding that alone time.
True true true. Showing our kids that they are loved and save are most important. I think every mom is sometimes doing things that get her some peaceful moments for herself. I’m still trying to do #2, but I totally fail (or ‘Timan’ just knows how to prevent it. LOL).
Those moments of alone time I think are so beneficial as a mom. They definitely help recharge the batteries.
LOVE this post and seriously LOVE you both! xo
Thank you Galit!
It makes you a real mom! Real moms aren’t perfect and they have individual needs and ways of dealing with their kids.
Things our children will lovingly talk about for years!
You are right that we are not perfect. As long as we are doing the best for our kids I think that is all that matters.