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I’ve always been one of those “people pleasing” kind of folks.
I don’t like for people to be upset with me (usually…just depending on who you are and whether I really care or not) and I’m all about making sure everyone is taken care of.
When I got married and had Little Man, I stopped caring so much about everyone else and started focusing solely on them. My husband and my son. The two people whose happiness and well-being mattered the most to me.
I didn’t realize that running a business from home, with a toddler, would be such an undertaking.
I didn’t realize that said toddler nearing three years old would train me to the point of tears a few times a week.
I didn’t realize that having to fold and put away our small family’s laundry during the week would become something that I had to sit down and pencil in to my schedule.
I’m beat.
And I’m overwhelmed.
And I’m not sure what is going to have to give for me to catch a breather.
I love my son to pieces, but theterrible three’s are kicking me in the teeth. The whining, the crying, the tantrums, the defiance, the never-ending-repetition of the games and the “look at me mommy!” mantras are sending me up the wall.
The laundry, the dusting, the floors (oh my heaven, the floors…I can’t keep those things clean anymore), the meals, the laundry, the dishes…I’ve managed to stay somewhat on top of it if only out of fear of becoming a hoarder mom.
The clients, the blogging, the emails, the designs, the reading of said blogs, the commenting, the responding to comments, the networking, the picture taking…it’s all important and I can’t seem to let one single thing go.
I love my family. I love my job. I love my writing.
And I can’t seem to let any one particular area slip.
Because they all mean too much to me.
So I find myself cutting corners on the stuff that I don’t really like.
Like washing and drying the laundry…and leaving it piled in a basket on top of the dryer.
And opting for quick meals (like Crock-Pot BBQ Chicken) instead of going all out and fixing huge entrees.
And reading blogs on my iPod while I sit on the couch and entertain the kiddo (which is why I’m slipping on the comments a bit. Got to figure out a way to do better with that).
And staying up until midnight nearly every night to get some work done in peace…even if that means sleeping less than five or six hours a night.
Because it all means too much to me to give up. I’ve worked too hard to get to where I’m at, to be doing what I enjoy doing, to let things slip.
So for now, I’ll continue to be everything for everyone. Continue to work toward being the all-powerful wife and mother who still keeps her home clean, her family fed, her husband happy, her children entertained, and runs a successful business without losing her sanity.
There has to be a way, right?
Don’t answer that.
*Linking up today with Just. Be. Enough.
Congratulations Amy! She won the Dandelion Dream Giveaway! Amy, if you’ll shoot me an email within the next 48 hours, I’ll get your information and you’re new t-shirt will be on the way!
Hi! I’m late. Because… yeah, all that. I don’t know how to fix this but I sincerely hope your sanity comes home soon. And brings mine with it.
[…] 5MinutesforMom on Babble’s Mom Crunch: If you’ve read any of my posts recently (like this one) then you know that I’ve been struggling with balance and workload. Trying to figure out […]
Courtney, my heart is breaking as I read this post because I was (and still am to a degree) in your shoes. Three year olds are tremendously challenging! I was not a blogger at that time but was working full time outside of the home and I remember thinking there was not enough of me to go around and that I probably would not survive it! Okay mama …. breathe a little. I am here to tell you that now is not forever and it WILL get better. I promise! I have been through two of them and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Just know that if you need to screech or cry or talk to someone…zoom over to my email – I may have a helpful word for you! Keeping you in my prayers! 🙂
I don’t have any wise words for you, except you have to give yourself a break once in a while. You do so much, I think that’s amazing, but sometimes, we can just be ordinary for one day, where our work doesn’t get finished, comments don’t get made, blogs don’t get read, but we get to sneak in a few things like an extra hour of sleep or a nice meal cooked. Balance is so hard, isn’t it?
Agreed. On occasion, I do sit and enjoy doing absolutely nothing but watching TV and sitting in my PJ’s. Without days like that, I think we’d all go insane.
I am desperately in search of that way as well. I work outside the home, but it is the same. Overwhelmed, in a funk because I cannot do any of it as well as I would like…..yes, yes, and yes. Thank you so much for linking up!!
I don’t think there is an answer for it…whether you work at home, outside of the home or just stay-at-home…it’s tough no matter what!
Sometimes (or most of the time!) balance seems so elusive. I have to believe that (for my own sanity) that the important things will surface to the top. Good luck with it all!
Agreed. Subconsciously, I always know what things need to be handled first…and which things can just sit and wait.
Posted about this SAME exact thing this morning…I”m exhausted with all the day to day things…I wish I had and answer for you. If you find a solution that works for you, please please share!
♥ Kyna
Oh absolutely. LOL If I ever find the key to balance, I’ll be screaming it from the rooftop.
It’s so hard to find a balance. I had to quit my wahm job this summer b/c I just couldn’t find the balance any more and I was burning myself out. I’m still doing some work, but more short term projects and only what I feel like I can truly handle.
Don’t forget that you are able to say NO to things when you are feeling overwhelmed. xo
Thanks, Shell! I actually am learning to say no, and it feels great. Especially when it comes to things that truly don’t matter, or don’t measure as high on my level of importance as others.
I’m like that — and I hit that “Something’s Gotta Give” point a while ago … and stuff had to give. I’m praying for as God helps you hand pick the activities HE has called priorities in your life.
Thank you, Lisa! I appreciate that! I’m trying to keep an open heart and mind and let him lead toward those things he has planned, as well.