Either/Or

Good morning everyone! Hope you are all having a fantastic week! I’ve been busy, busy, busy packing and painting and all of that fun stuff and I feel like I have neglected my blog and my friends here for the past few days. Hubby and I decided this morning that we are going to take a break today and tomorrow from all of the work and spend some time doing some things that we enjoy and take up some quality time with each other and with Little Man. Which, for me, means lots and lots of bloggy time today…catching up on posts and comments and responding to several emails that I have let slide to the backburner the past two weeks or so. But this morning, I wanted to talk about something that has kind of been on and off  my mind for several months. I kept saying I was going to blog about it, but haven’t done it yet, but something I read online this morning kind of irked me and I wanted to bring this up.

This morning I was browsing around the internet, hitting a few of the ‘mommy blog sites’ that I frequent and some of the new ones I have discovered and read where someone asked this question:

How can you be a mommy and a blogger? I don’t understand how you can ‘be’ a mom full time, but spend all of your time blogging about being a mom full time. You can’t be both. You are either or.

This really kind of peeved me off. Pushed my buttons a little bit. I don’t want to step on anyones toes this morning-and probably won’t since, obviously those of you who stop by are most likely mom bloggers yourself. But I am going to broach the subject of making money from your blog. And the controversy that goes with it. I would love to turn this into a discussion, so I encourage you, if you will, to read on and leave a comment at the end.

Personally, I don’t understand how blogging is any different than keeping a journal…other than the fact that you publish it online. And that’s a decision that is solely and completely up to the author and no one else. I started blogging when I was pregnant with Little Man. We had just moved to Florida, away from all of our family and I was alone. I had no where to turn to talk about my pregnancy {except for my poor husband, who didn’t understand the constant shift in hormones I was experiencing.} and no way to keep family updated on what was going on. So I turned to the internet. Found blogger and got started. And I’ve never turned back. Through blogging I have made some wonderful friends who, though we’ve never really met, have been there for me during times when even the people close to me weren’t. There is a common thread that runs through us mommy bloggers…we understand. And we’re there to offer support.

Now. To the question at hand. How can you be a full time mom and a blogger? I say it’s no different than being a working mom. Or being a mom and a wife. Or being a mom to multiple children. It’s about finding a sense of balance. Knowing what time you have, what you have to do and using it. My friend Mandi posted a really great blog the other day about setting up a schedule for your blog that I would encourage you to read. As my blog has grown, I have learned that there becomes more that goes into it than just writing a post. There are comments to respond to, emails to send, other blogs to read, and-if you get into it-advertising and reviews to do. It’s work. But it’s something that I love and enjoy and never do I allow it to take priority over  my husband, our marriage or my son.

I do my blogging when I don’t have other things to do. Though I strive very hard to have a new post up every day, Monday-Friday, if I have other things going on, then this is the area in which I have to give a little bit. Usually I manage just fine. I get up every morning between 5:30-6:00 when the Hubby gets up to go to work, after he leaves at 6:00 is when I check the blogs that I frequent several times a day and work on my post. Little Man usually wakes up about 7:00 or 7:30 and when he does, I give him breakfast and let him watch Handy Manny, Special Agent Oso, and Mickey Mouse. While he does that, I finish up my post and hit publish and that’s that. If I have time at night, which is rare, I try to schedule posts for the next day. But since Little Man goes to bed at 7:00 and the Hubby and I go to bed at around 9:00 [yeah, we’re early birds], we try to squeeze in some ‘us’ time at night.

So you see it’s all about time management. And that’s something I didn’t have a lot of before I had a baby. But you learn. And I try not to ever spend time online when I know there are things to be done. There are days when I give myself a break and Little Man and I spend all day playing and watching movies and I do a lot of blogging when he goes to sleep. But usually, I stick to what I routinely do. The woman who asked this question seems to set on the idea that just because a mom blogs, that she doesn’t take care of her children or her home. Like she simply sits at the computer all day long. Honey, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s like anything else…you have to want to find the balance. You have to want to still be a good mom and a successful blogger. It makes me wonder if this woman is a stay at home mom herself, because I think that if she were she would know that that is simply not feasible. And for that I ask what the difference is between a blogging mom and a WAHM? Is there? And does that mean that the mom who works from home is a ‘bad mother’ as well?

Later on in the discussion it is brought up about what is okay for moms to blog about. Everyone knows about MckMama and her son Stellen, and almost everyone has opinion about it. I’m not turning this into a discussion about her, their finances or their personal life but I do want to comment on the fact that she blogged about Stellen’s illness. In my opinion, you are responsible for your own blogging decisions. Period. I personally may not agree with everything, but that’s up to you. What you do with your blog is your decision and your’s alone. My husband readsd everything that I post. And if he decides he doesn’t think it’s appropriate, then it’s removed or edited [which, we’ve never had to do, but would if need be.] I post things about Little Man that I don’t care if people know. I post things that our family and friends would like to know; I post my sometimes heavy opinions on things, and I vent. But the fact of the matter is, I pay my domain fee every year to host my blog, I write the content, I own the copyright. My writing. My blog.

It’s no different than agreeing or disagreeing about politics or religion or parenting or marriage preferences. You either support it or don’t support it. And to me that’s part of what makes blogging so interesting. The ability to branch out of our own norm and into the minds and homes of people who may not think the way that we do. There are things I would never post on my blog…but again, whether you or I agree with it, that’s the choice of the blog author. Period. And for the record, if {heaven forbid} Little Man were to ever get sick or another baby down the road were to ever get sick, I would probably blog about it. For the outlet, for the fact of keeping family and friends posted on what was going on, and for my own self therapy.

As for the idea of making money off of a blog. The way that I look at it, if you are able to make money doing something that you love, then power to you. If you’ve turned your blog into something that successful, then who’s to stop you. Who cares?! It’s no different, to me, than someone making money as a photographer or a blog designer or a teacher or a doctor. To each his own.

So what are your opinions on this? Can you be both mommy and blogger? Where do you draw the line between managing your time? Is there a limit to what “should” be blogged about? What about paid advertisments? Let’s get a discussion going here, ladies. I’d love your opinions 🙂