Initially Un-thankful

It will come as no surprise that on this day, the day before Thanksgiving, that I am choosing to put aside all other posts, all other ideas, all other worries, and just be thankful for the things that I have been blessed with. I can guarantee that at least one out of every five blogs you read over the course of the next three days will include a list of things to be thankful for. While I am more than grateful for the known things-my husband, my son, good health-there are other things that I am thankful for as well. Things that go unnoticed most days; things that are really things that we aren’t thankful for initially but later come to appreciate. And today, I want to pay tribute to those things.

– I am thankful for the last eight months of separation that my marriage has endured. Seems strange to say that out-loud…especially when I think about how much I have missed [and will continue to miss for the next three weeks] my husband. Yet, despite the many, many nights of being alone, being without someone to snuggle up in bed with, being without my son’s father to share the parental responsibilities; we have grown stronger as a couple. We’ve built a trust between one another that won’t quickly or easily be forgotten. To endure separation for such a long period of time without infidelity or adultery or mistakes being made is a HUGE deal. No matter how strong your marriage, no matter how great your relationship; Satan does tempt and test and in a society where the sanctity of marriage rarely even exists, a pure, unadulterated marriage is a wonderful and beautiful thing.

– On a similar note, I am thankful that I have been a single parent for the last eight months. I’ve learned how to take care of Little Man on my own. while still maintaining most of my sanity. I have been solely responsible, in my husbands temporary absence, for setting boundaries, enforcing rules and administering discipline. I’ve learned to parent on my own and solve immediate issues without help from anyone other than myself. {*This is not to say that my husband and I do not communicate with one another on the major things and decisions that impact our son. However the minor, every day things, I’ve dealt with by my lonesome.} I’ve learned how to play “boy games” with our little guy…making car noises, throwing the football, getting dirty, and playing airplane and have loved every single minute of it. Though I will be more than excited to have my husband around to endure these long days enjoy these things with me.

– I thankful that I was able to use the time away from my husband to learn more about who I am as an individual.

When Hubby left in April, I was still trying to figure out where my life was headed…what I wanted to do; who I wanted to be when I grew up. There were issues in my past that I was still dealing with, aspects of my future that were more uncertain than I was comfortable with. But now, the past is in the past. And the future is something I’ve come to terms with and am confident with…even though it remains uncertain. Rather than trying to change who I am to please everyone else, I’ve begun to embrace the me that already is and she is pretty great. And the two most important people in the world to me {those being my husband and my son} love the me that is as well. I’ve discovered and pursued a passion for photography that was just getting started when Hubby left; and I’ve rediscovered my deep love for words and writing…a love that I fully intend to continue to pursue. I’ve built this blog to something that I am more proud of than ever before, and I finally feel like I am doing what God intended for me to do when he intended for me to do it. And I can say, without a shadow of a doubt that I am happy.

– I am thankful for prayers unanswered…things that I thought I wanted for us, things that I thought we needed, things that I thought I wanted for myself-that never came to pass. I am a firm believer in God’s will and plan and that he truly has a purpose and reason for every single instance in our lives. There are many that have come to pass in my life, that weren’t what I wanted or felt like I needed; but it’s those moments, those tiny little change in circumstance that have held the most beautiful memories and the most cherished moments.

– I am thankful for the lessons learned by loss. I know it sounds inappropriate [??? Maybe that’s the right word], but I have come to appreciate every thing so much more after having seen or experienced a loss. Or known someone who did lose a loved one. When Hubby’s former classmate passed away in a fatal car crash, God really pushed me to stop and think about the way that I was living my life. Not that I feel I was really taking advantage of life or anything, but he just reminded me how quickly this life can end. We’ve had family members lose children, friends pass away…and death is hard. Loss is never an easy thing, but I feel that the most beautiful way to honor someone we love, is to continue to live the life we have now…to live it in the best way that we know how. And I’ve spent a lot of time pursuing that in the last several months.

What about you?

Aside from your husband, you children, your health and well-being…what are the things that you are thankful for? The hard times that have been made beautiful? The things that initially didn’t work out like you wanted, but you find yourself rejoicing over now? Tis the season to be thankful, so I want to hear what you are thankful for!